NEVER BACK DOWN 2: THE BEATDOWN (2011) ***

Michael Jai White stars in this DTV sequel that manages to be superior to the original in every single way.  Not only it is a terrific vehicle for White (who also directed), it has a genuinely involving story that focuses on several likeable characters.  By the time they all fight in the titular Beatdown, you’re not even sure who to root for.

White stars as Case, an ex-con MMA fighter who trains a handful of college-aged students.  A savvy promoter (Evan Peters, one of the only returning actors from the original) puts together an indie fight card that will be broadcast on the net.  Case’s students, who all have their own reasons for fighting, enter the tournament, train together, and learn to grudgingly respect one another.

What makes Never Back Down 2 so great is that we follow a handful of different characters who slowly grow on us over time.  Each fighter is on their own distinct path and bring different levels of emotional baggage into the octagon with them.  (One guy is dealing with the fact his father is gay, another is trying to make enough money so his mom can stop stripping, etc.)  In most of these things, we only follow the hero and the villain.  This little tweak on the usual formula makes the film unique and the fact that they all train together as a unit gives it a different flavor too.

The young cast members (some of which are actual MMA stars) are all strong, but the movie really belongs to White.  He centers the film and brings all the characters together, imparting wisdom with genuine heart, and kicking ass with authority.  He’s particularly good in the scenes where he deals with cops who perpetually harass him.  This is one of his best performances of all time.  White also does a fantastic job in the director’s chair.  He showcases all the fights and training montages with flair and doesn’t resort to the cheap camerawork and quick-cut editing that hampers most DTV action sequels.

If there is a problem, it’s with Chris Hauty’s script.  (He also wrote the first film.)  The way one character goes from being an awkward social outcast to a scenery-chewing villain in the third act is a bit cheesy, not to mention unbelievable.  Other than that, Never Back Down 2:  The Beatdown is proof that DTV sequels can outshine their theatrically-released, bigger-budgeted progenitors.  

AKA:  The Fighters:  Beatdown.

KUNG FU YOGA (2017) **

Kung Fu Yoga shows us a more mature side of Jackie Chan.  For starters, his character is named “Jack” Chan”, which sounds a lot more grown-up and adult.  Another sign of maturity:  He’s not afraid to play his age.  When Chan practices on a wooden man, he appears winded after the workout.  (Although he’s still juvenile enough to be seen with cartoonish spots over his head afterwards.)

Jackie… err… Jack is an archeologist who has invented a new spray that can immediately restore any ancient artifact.  A beautiful woman brings him an old treasure map to be restored.  Together, they discover the location of a lost treasure and go on an expedition to find it.  En route, they come face to face with a rival treasure hunter who wants to take it all for himself.

The opening sequence is a bizarre flashback involving Chinese and Indian warriors battling on a cheesy CGI battlefield.  The effects are really bad throughout the scene, which at times makes it look like a crappy video game.  Since it all leads up to a herd of elephants being knocked over like a bunch of dominos, I guess it’s okay.

Kung Fu Yoga was directed by the great Stanley Tong, who’s directed some of Chan’s best stuff.  Although there are flashes of their old school brilliance here, there’s not quite enough to make the film worthwhile.  We get an OK car chase that starts off just fine but is undermined by a comic relief puking CGI lion.  Tong also gives us an Indian bazaar scene that involves magic ropes and sword swallowers that was done much better in Octopussy. 

I will say that the movie gets better as it goes along.  The scene where Chan’s assistants have to contend with some CGI hyenas works surprisingly well and the finale is solid.  I could've done without the Bollywood dance number at the end though (which I guess was to be expected since most of the action takes place in India).  Unfortunately, we don’t get any of Chan’s patented outtakes during the end credits, which is disappointing. 

SKYLINE (2010) **

I’m planning on watching Beyond Skyline in the near future, mostly because Iko Uwais is in it.  I don't want to be completely lost when that time comes, so I watched Skyline to get myself up to speed.  Sigh… the things I do for Iko Uwais.

I initially didn't want to see this because The Brothers Strause directed it.  If you don’t remember (and I wish I could), they’re the duo who directed the abysmal Alien vs. Predator:  Requiem.  Fortunately for me, Skyline is a heck of a lot better that that flick, although that's not saying much. 

Eric (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake) Balfour goes to visit his friend (Donald Faison) in L.A.  with his girlfriend (Scottie Thompson) in tow.  That night, blue lights rain down on the city and it doesn’t take the group long to realize they're in the midst of an alien invasion.  They do their best to survive as the aliens fly around and try to take over their minds and bodies.

Skyline plays sort of like a west coast version of War of the Worlds.  That’s right.  You guessed it.  This is another one of those Hide-from-the-Blue-Glowing-Tentacle-Alien-Robot movie. 

Most of the action is confined to one building which helps conceal the tiny budget.  I also liked that Faison’s character has two girlfriends and no one makes a big deal about their polyamorous relationship.  That’s about the only novel touch though. 

All of this is watchable, although it’s never engrossing.  You’ve seen it all before, and done better, I might add.  The aliens themselves are competently done, but like the movie itself, they’re derivative and forgettable. 

The Strause Brothers are in the FX business, so we know they have a handle the alien stuff.  When it comes to the characters, they pretty much drop the ball.  At least they’re more likable than the ones found in AVP:  R.  Then again, that covers just about every other movie on the planet.  

READY PLAYER ONE (2018) ****

Ready Player One sounds like it can’t miss, but properly making it come alive on screen is infinitely trickier than you’d think.  Only someone with the gifted touch of Steven Spielberg could’ve pulled it off.  What’s intriguing about the film is that it features only a handful of Spielberg’s directorial touches as his style is largely invisible throughout most of the movie.  Instead, he just lets his imagination loose and invites the audience along for the ride.

In the near future, most of the world’s population is plugged into the Oasis, a Virtual Reality simulator.  Its creator (Mark Rylance) has placed three Easter Eggs in the game and players spend most of their time trying to find them.  Wade (Tye Sheridan) is a loner who thinks he has a line on at least one of the Eggs.  The evil CEO of tech conglomerate (Ben Mendelsohn) wants the Eggs for himself and will stop at nothing to get them.

Based on the novel by Ernie Cline, Ready Player One relies heavily on pop culture nostalgia and video game references.  Even if Spielberg wasn’t able to secure the rights to the scores of characters that pop up in cameos during the games, it would’ve still been a treat.  Having them all fighting side by side is just the icing on the cake.  

I could make a running list of cameos, but I would not dream of spoiling the fun.  Imagine Who Framed Roger Rabbit combined with The LEGO Movie and that should give you an idea of how the various characters are integrated into the narrative.  Some are relegated to mere background players.  Others get jaw-dropping, fist-pumping, and/or standing-ovation-worthy moments to shine.  

This is guaranteed to be the most freeze-framed movie of all time once it hits home video.  The massive battle scenes feature hundreds of your favorite characters from video games, movies, and TV shows.  I watched it once and enjoyed it for the acting, plot, and sheer spectacle of it all.  Now I want to go back and just spot all the cameos lurking in the background.

The young cast is great, but the credit really goes to Mendelsohn for his turn as the slimy corporate villain.  He gives off a distinct Paul Gleason vibe and it’s a wonder they just didn’t use him for Mendelsohn’s avatar within the Oasis.  Without a formidable flesh and blood menace in the “real” world, the stuff inside the Oasis wouldn’t mean nearly as much.

Spielberg has made a lot of “grown-up” movies lately.  This one finds him back in his wheelhouse doing what he does best.  Even though he’s getting up there in age, this very much feels like a young man’s movie, and I’m not saying that because of all the pop culture stuff.  There are sequences here that crackle like some of his earliest, best stuff.  It is without a doubt one of the best films of the year.

BAD MATCH (2017) ** ½

I hate the term “guilty pleasure”, because like Keith Richards always said, “If something gives you pleasure, you shouldn’t feel guilty”.  However, I do have an affinity for cheesy From Hell movies.  Nowadays, these kinds of films wind up as filler on the Lifetime Channel, but it’s good to know you can still find new ones while perusing Netflix.  

Bad Match plays like a version of Fatal Attraction that’s been updated for the Tinder generation.  Fatal Attraction was of course, the Girlfriend from Hell.  Bad Match is the Internet Hook-Up from Hell.

Harris (Jack Cutmore-Scott) is a serial dater who uses dating apps for quick hook-ups.  His latest conquest, Riley (Lili Simmons) winds up falling hard for him.  When he spurns her affections, she concocts an elaborate fake suicide to get back at him.  Soon after, Harris’ Twitter feed gets hacked, and he gets fired for sending obscene Tweets.  Harris thinks she’s gone too far, but when a bunch of child porn is downloaded onto his computer, he gets in trouble with the cops.  He then goes to stop Riley once and for all.

Bad Match is not a comedy, but it is often very funny.  It has a knowing sense of humor, or at the very least knows the plot ain’t Shakespeare.  Some of the dialogue is good for a laugh.  My favorite line was when Harris tries to sneak out of bed after sleeping with an internet conquest.  When she asks him why he’s leaving, he says, “Yeah, I have undiagnosed restless-leg syndrome…”

All of this is more or less fun for about an hour or so, but the third act where Harris tries to turn the tables on Riley just goes on far too long.  Maybe it would’ve worked if the big twist at the end wasn’t so predictable.  Since we know what’s coming at the end, it makes the conclusion feel more like a twisted shaggy dog story than anything else.

Cutmore-Scott gives a winning performance.  Even though his character is a player, he is often quite funny and charming, even when he’s being a complete dick.  He’s kind of like an asshole version of Chris Pratt.  Cutmore-Scott’s so charismatic that he makes Bad Match fun to watch, even when it starts heading into heavily cliched territory.  Simmons isn’t quite as good, but she goes through all the psycho motions well enough.  One thing is for sure, I wouldn’t mind seeing them reunited in a Craigslist-centered remake of Single White Female.

SATANIC (2016) **

Four friends go on a Satanic sightseeing tour on their way to Coachella.  They visit Sharon Tate’s house and even stay in a hotel room where a woman apparently committed suicide in a Satanic ritual.  When they follow a Satanic book store owner to his home, they witness him and his followers participating in a bizarre ritual.  They stop him from sacrificing a young girl and take her back to their hotel room.  That's when all hell breaks loose.  Literally.

The girl gets drunk, draws a pentagram on the wall, vomits and pees on the floor, and then slashes her throat.  This is a decent horror set piece, all things considered.  It's even scarier when you realize the teens definitely aren’t going to get their security deposit back.

Satanic is competently made.  The acting isn’t bad and there are a handful of mildly effective moments.  (I liked the black and white pre-title sequence of old timey and/or cartoon footage of the devil mixed in with a home movie of a Satanic wedding presided over by none other than Anton LeVay.)  That doesn’t disguise the fact that it feels more like a short film that was expanded to feature length than an actual movie.  The fact that the twist ending is like something out of a bad Twilight Zone episode cements that feeling.  (The scene where our heroes get the 411 on the Satanic chick from the book shop owner is priceless though.)

The cast, especially Sarah Hyland as the Final Girl, is certainly capable.  I just don’t think the budget was there to make the horror come to life.  It will be interesting to see what director Jeffrey Hunt could do with a little bit more money at his disposal.  

THIS NUDE WORLD (1933) **

This Nude World is considered the first nudist colony movie.  It follows the exploits that go on in nudist camps in New York, Paris, and Berlin.  To give the audience a little taste of the local color, we see a bit of the night life each city has to offer before going into the camps.  Then of course, we have to sit and listen to some old academic telling us about the health benefits of nudism before we finally see a little skin.

And I do mean a little.  Even though we see plenty of butts in the early going, no one is shown naked from the front during the first forty minutes or so.  (If a guy is shown from the front, it’s only because he’s wearing a pair of tiny shorts.)  Once we get to Berlin, the filmmakers finally start tossing in a lot of gratuitous boob shots.  It’s not enough to save the movie or anything, but it keeps it from being a total rip-off.

I did like how the narrator goes out of his way to stress these are normal everyday people.  On more than one occasion, he tells us the nudists come from all walks of life.  (“They’re doctors, lawyers, and stenographers!”)  Even though the filmmakers spend the first two-thirds of the movie jerking the audience around, the scenes of nude javelin, shotput, tightrope walking, and tug of war almost make it worth it. 

This Nude World isn't a great nudist movie.  You had to wait until the ‘50s and ‘60s before you get some truly great ones.  Despite that, it’s worth a look since it was the first of its kind.  You know, for purely historical purposes. 

AKA:  This Naked Age.  AKA:  Back to Nature.  AKA:  The Nudist World.  AKA:  This Naked World.