TERROR AT LONDON BRIDGE (1985) **

There were a lot of films about Jack the Ripper in the ‘80s.  In the span of just a couple of years we had The Ripper, Jack’s Back, Edge of Sanity, and this Made for TV movie.  It’s not exactly great, but it does have a fun cast and slightly more blood than you’d typically see on television at that time. 

Jack the Ripper is shot and killed by bobbies on the London Bridge.  His body falls into the Thames and his soul becomes trapped in a dislodged stone.   A hundred years later, London Bridge is brought over to Lake Havasu, Arizona and is turned into a tourist attraction.  When a tourist accidentally bleeds on the stone containing Jack the Ripper’s essence, he is reborn and starts killing women.  Cop David Hasselhoff investigates and tries to convince everyone that Jack the Ripper is alive and well and living in Arizona. 

Director E.W. Swackhamer handles things in a competent manner.  The stalk n’ slash scenes are well done and he manages to squeeze a decent amount of atmosphere out of the unlikely setting.  Unfortunately, there’s just too much fat here that gets in the way of the good stuff.  The Jaws plotline in which the town council wants to can The Hoff’s investigation because it could impact the local tourist trade is overly familiar and eats up a lot of screen time.  You also have to put up with the subplot about the appearance of not one, but two creepy guys with English accents; both of whom are potential Ripper suspects. 

The awesome cast will be the main draw.  David Hasselhoff is at the height of his Hasselhoffiness here.  Wearing tight jeans and a polo shirt, he just exudes all the Hoffian traits you’ve come to expect from The Hoff.  We also have the great Adrienne Barbeau as the town’s sexy librarian.  Although I wish her part was larger, I can honestly say there’s something about Adrienne Barbeau as a sexy librarian that gets my motor running.  Randolph Mantooth also appears as Hasselhoff’s more seasoned partner and Clu Gulager steals every scene he’s in as the chief of police.  (He even calls people “Buddy Boy”, just like he did in Return of the Living Dead.) 

This is exactly the sort of thing I would’ve eaten up if I caught it on the USA Network as a kid.  I’m a man now, and my tastes are (slightly) more refined, but it went down smooth enough.  It’s just a shame that all the padding ultimately prevents it from ever gaining much momentum. 

AKA:  Bridge Across Time.  AKA:  Arizona Ripper.