NETFLIX AND KILL: WE ARE NOT ALONE (2016) **

A single dad moves into a new house with his young daughter and girlfriend.  She tries to get along with her future stepdaughter, but it’s clear from the get-go she’s a total daddy’s girl.  Before long, she’s hearing strange noises in the house and even finds a hidden room in the wall.  She tries to tell her hubby something supernatural is going on and of course, he doesn’t believe her because he’s too busy working all the time.  Once they realize the place is indeed haunted, they turn to a priest to get rid of the evil. 

We are Not Alone is a Peruvian version of an American haunted house movie, but despite the language difference, it’s really just the same old shit.  Faulty TV reception, ominous drawings by little kids, and balls bouncing down stairs all act as harbingers of doom.  It even ends with a good old-fashioned exorcism. 

Despite the overly familiar subject matter, it’s only 75 minutes long, which is a blessing, and it moves along at a decent pace.  The film also benefits from the cool grey-tinged cinematography.  Too bad that the bulk of the running time is devoted to a lot of fake scares, most of which revolve around the stepdaughter springing up where she shouldn’t.  They even trot out the old tried-and-true Jack-in-the-box jump scare.  I thought those went out of style years ago.

AMITYVILLE: THE AWAKENING (2017) ***

I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to see this movie.  The release date kept getting pushed back January after January until Dimension took it off their schedule completely.  Now, in the wake of the Weinstein scandal, it’s been dumped on Google Play.  FOR FREE.  Man, I was totally willing to pay $12 to see this in the theater!  Now I get to watch it absolutely free.  Not only was it worth the wait, I got my money’s worth out of it too! 

Ginger goddess Bella Thorne moves into the Amityville house with her overbearing mother (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and her braindead vegetable twin brother.  Bella learns from her classmates the horrifying history of the house about the same time her brother starts making a miraculous recovery.  Is he really getting better or is the house possessing him to do its evil bidding? 

Amityville:  The Awakening was directed by Franck Khalfoun, director of the underappreciated P2, and he brings the same slick efficiency that he brought to that gem.  Khalfoun gives us a few genuinely effective moments (like a window opening on its own) as well as a grisly updating of the original’s fly sequence.  He also does a fine job at orchestrating the family drama within the house.  The strained relationship between Thorne and Leigh (who are well-cast as daughter and mother) is absorbing and the tension between them is genuine. 

Even though it’s PG-13, it still has a creepy vibe.  Honestly, with a few edits, this could probably play on Lifetime, what with the family squabbling and all.  Since Lifetime Movies are a guilty pleasure of mine, it really fired on all cylinders for me.   

What makes The Awakening so much fun is that it exists in the “real” world.  The DeFeo murders that happened in the house are “real”, but the entire Amityville film series are just that:  movies.  In fact, one of Thorne’s classmates bring over the original 1979 Amityville Horror so they can watch it together.  He also suggests they watch the Ryan Reynolds remake, but she shoots him down.  “Remakes totally blow!”  There is no mention however of Amityville 3-D though.  Bummer.   

For all of its creepy moments at meta references, the movie really belongs to Bella Thorne.  Wearing a wardrobe that consists of a variety of sexy goth/punk outfits and black lipstick, she always commands your attention.  It doesn’t hurt that half the movie features her in booty shorts walking down hallways and investigating strange noises.  Not only is she smoking hot, she gives a great performance as well.  She really holds her own acting alongside Jennifer Jason Leigh, which is a testament to her abilities.   

AKA:  Amityville:  The Reawakening. 

NETFLIX AND KILL: WE ARE STILL HERE (2015) **

Barbara Crampton and Andrew Sensenig star as a couple who are still reeling from the death of their son.  They move to a house in the country and almost immediately, Barbara thinks her dead son is trying to communicate with her.  She invites her hippie friends (Lisa Marie and Larry Fessenden) over to hold a séance in the house to make contact with him.  Instead of reaching their son, they find a malevolent spirit that awakens every thirty years to devour the occupants of the house. 

We are Still Here is a frustrating and slow moving film.  It’s almost as if it’s taking delight in foiling the audience’s expectations and testing their patience.  It takes so much time gathering steam that I found myself nodding off halfway through.  It would be one thing if I had it on in the middle of the night, but I was watching it in the afternoon.  

While the film takes an awfully long time to get itself in gear, the final act certainly has its moments.  I dug the séance scene and the crispy, burnt-up ghost with white eyes that lives in the house is pretty cool.  The scenes of the house “eating” people are juicy, as are the assorted head-crushing, eye-poking, and throat-gouging effects.  It’s just a shame that it takes its sweet time getting to the good stuff. 

BUGSY (1991) ***

In 1991, Hollywood had Bugsy on the brain.  No less than three movies were released that featured the notorious gangster Bugsy Siegel.  While The Marrying Man and Mobsters found Bugsy playing a supporting role, this biopic by Barry Levinson puts Siegel front and center. 

Warren Beatty stars as Bugsy, a coldblooded gangster who has visions of creating a hotel in the desert, which would later be the inspiration for Las Vegas.  He has a hot temper to go along with his grand vision.  If anyone calls him “Bugsy” to his face, they usually wind up six feet under.  He falls in love with a movie star (Annette Bening) who helps him achieve his dream.  However, escalating costs and Bugsy’s almost irritating need for perfection soon makes his gangster investors (Harvey Keitel and Ben Kingsley among them) nervous. 

Written by James Toback (who also directed a slew of movies that starred Keitel), Bugsy is an agreeable drama that coasts on the charms of its performers.  Beatty is as engaging as ever and he has a lot of chemistry with Bening (so much so that they were later married in real life).  Kingsley and Keitel (who were both nominated for Oscars for their work) are equally fine as the gangsters who back Bugsy’s plans and do their best to stick with him through thick and thin. 

The film runs on a bit long and Levinson’s style is overly glossy.  That works in the movie’s favor though.  Bugsy always fancied himself as a Hollywood heavy, so it’s fitting that the film is slick and classy like an old-time movie from the Golden Age.   

It’s also one of those movies that shows the dark side of the American Dream.  Bugsy sees himself as a visionary and desperately wants to make a name for himself.  The fact he’s a gangster is irrelevant.  We see him kill a man very early on in cold blood.  We know he’s capable of violence.  Despite that, Beatty is so charming that we are rooting for him the whole way.  He makes Bugsy likeable like only Beatty can.  This is the guy who made bank robber Clyde Barrow a hero after all. 

It’s Bening who gets the best line of the movie when she tells Beatty:  “Why don’t you run outside and jerk yourself a soda!”

THE FOREIGNER (2017) ***

Jackie Chan has been in the business of kicking ass for over forty years.  With The Foreigner, he shows he is still capable of surprising his fans.  We all knew he could make audience’s laugh in his Kung Fu comedies, but late in his career, he has shown he can deliver wonderful dramatic performances too.  His work in The Foreigner is right up there with his performance in The Karate Kid.  In addition to his acting chops, Chan once again proves he still has some of that old school acrobatic magic left in him.  Sure, his fight sequences aren’t nearly as long or elaborate as the stuff he was doing twenty years ago, but they still pack a punch, mostly because we’re along for the ride with him emotionally.   

The Foreigner is basically a Death Wish-type thriller married with a serious IRA drama.  Chan plays a grief-stricken father who wants answers after his daughter is killed in a terrorist explosion.  Pierce Brosnan plays the politician in charge of the investigation who may or may not have something to do with it.  When Pierce doesn’t deliver the bombers in a timely fashion, Jackie uses his skills as a special forces agent to blow shit up. 

Chan uses his age to his advantage here.  Because the bad guys see him as just another old man, they underestimate him and he's able to whoop their butts handily.  Make no mistake, he may be getting up there in age, but Chan has still got it.  While the fights are smaller and the stunts are less intensive, they remain inventive throughout.  Credit director Martin Campbell (who also directed Brosnan in Goldeneye) for expertly grafting Chan’s strengths into a more adult-oriented setting.  He takes great advantage of Chan’s skills in the close quarters fights.  There’s a brutal stairway fight as well as an intense brawl in a kitchen.  I also enjoyed the extended First Blood-style sequence where Chan sets traps and lays waste to an army of Bronsan’s goons. 

Brosnan is in fine form too as the politician with his own private agenda.  I can’t tell you how much fun it is to see Jackie Chan matching wits with James Bond.  I only wish they had their own fight scene together.  Oh well. 

The drama gets a little bogged down when it concentrates too heavily on IRA politics.  Campbell still does a nice job at trying to keep these potentially dull scenes moving at an acceptable pace.  Despite a few lulls, the performances are strong enough to keep you invested, even when the plot is spinning its wheels.

THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN (1966) *

Don Knotts stars as a newspaper typesetter with big dreams of being a reporter.  He runs an unauthorized story about the local haunted house, which catches the eye of the editor.  He then gives Knotts a big assignment:  Spend one night in the house to see if it’s indeed haunted.  Knotts takes the job and sees all kinds of supernatural shenanigans.  He writes a front-page story about what he witnessed and winds up being sued for libel by the owner of the house.  It’s then up to Knotts to lead a judge and jury through the house and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the place is haunted. 

The bare bones of a good kid-friendly horror comedy were here.  They just forgot to put actual jokes in there.  I guess your enjoyment of the picture will depend on your tolerance of Knotts.  While he was funny playing supporting characters on The Andy Griffith Show and Three’s Company, he just doesn’t have what it takes to be a leading man.  His schtick gets tiresome quick.  I mean his bug-eyed antics wear thin in a half-hour sitcom.  A ninety-minute movie with him front and center is just a recipe for disaster. 

All the usual haunted house clichés are trotted out.  Knotts finds a hidden staircase behind a bookcase, sees a bleeding painting, and hears an organ that plays by itself.  All of this isn’t remotely scary because it’s aimed squarely at kids.  However, I don’t think kids would have the patience required to sit through the boring, unfunny sequences that don’t revolve around the haunted house. 

NETFLIX AND KILL: DREAM HOUSE (2011) ** ½

Dream House is a ghost story rife with haunted house movie clichés.  We’ve seen movies where a family moves into an old house where the former tenants were brutally murdered.  We’ve seen horror movies where a child’s ominous drawings act as harbingers of doom.  We’ve seen horror movies where the husband is an author who’s trying to get a little writing done, but ghosts and madness eventually get in the way.  Sure, we’ve seen all of this before, but this time we get to see it with James Bond in the lead.  

Dream House comes to us from director Jim Sheridan.  His filmography is all over the place.  He made a big splash with dramas like My Left Foot, but he’s also directed the 50 Cent movie, Get Rich or Die Trying.  He doesn’t really bring anything new to the table, but he handles all the would-be scares in a competent manner. 

Despite the overly familiar set-up, Dream House does have at least one good twist.  What sets it apart from countless other similar films is that the twist happens about halfway through the movie.  Though predictability finds its way back into the third act, the intriguing twist and its unconventional placement in the narrative prevents it from being just another run-of-the-mill haunted house flick.   

The performances are solid and help to anchor the movie throughout its cliché-heavy passages.  Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz have a lot of chemistry together.  So much so that they wound up falling in love and getting married shortly before the film was released.  Naomi Watts also leaves an impression as a concerned neighbor, although I wish she was given more to do.