HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: PREVENGE (2017) ** ½

Tone is a tricky thing when you’re making a horror comedy, especially one with this sort of premise.  Not only does it involve a pregnant woman (Alice Lowe), but her evil fetus as well.  The unborn baby urges her to kill the people responsible for the death of her husband, but we’re never sure if the killer fetus is real or a figment of Lowe’s imagination until the very end.  This aspect runs against the grain of its humorous intentions.  If played completely serious, this could’ve been absolutely horrifying.  Instead of trying to put the screws to the audience, it goes for cheap laughs and mixes in some sloppy gore, just because, I suppose. 

I’ll be the first to admit that there are some laughs here, but the filmmakers never hit a consistent tone.  Sometimes the punchlines are so dry that they fail to elicit much of a response.  Other times, it goes so over the top that it resembles a Troma movie.   

It doesn’t help that the film falls into a predictable rut (Lowe finds a target, talks to them a bit, then stabs them with a butcher knife) almost right from the get-go.  Also, many of the deaths are interchangeable, except for the scene where Lowe tries to kill a kickboxing woman.  Lowe’s fearless performance helps to anchor things whenever it threatens to go off the rails.  Maybe next time she’ll star in a movie worthy of her talents.

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: VIDEO NASTIES: DRACONIAN DAYS (2014) ***

Jake West’s sequel to his Video Nasties documentary focuses on the rise of former filmmaker James Ferman as the head censor at the British Board of Film Censorship.  The way Ferman got other conservatives to rally alongside him was admittedly ingenious:  He showed them a greatest hits collection of all the goriest bits from all the nasties.  Even the most die-hard gorehound would’ve been a little queasy watching that.  

West also gets into how the tabloids used the video nasties as a scapegoat to real-life tragedies.  A mass shooting is blamed on Rambo and Child’s Play 3 is blamed for the tragic Bulger murder.  Thinking something as tame as Child’s Play 3 could drive someone to murder is laughable now, but when you think of the media frenzy that surrounded the case, it’s easy to see why people were so hysterical. 

When politicians call for tighter restrictions on videos, it is Ferman who champions to prevent them from further censorship.  Later, he gets ousted when he tries to legalize pornography.  Even though this guy wanted to hack all the good stuff out of countless genre classics, he winds up being a decent guy after all. 

While Draconian Days covers a lot of the same territory as David Gregory’s Ban the Sadist Videos did, there are a couple of pleasant deviations.  The segment on horror fanzines is great and probably deserves its own documentary at some point.  In the end, it runs on a bit too long for its own good.  With some tighter editing, West could’ve condensed all the material into one feature.  If you've seen the first one, you probably owe it to yourself to watch this one too.

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: THE DEVIL’S HONEY (1986) ***

When you’re a guy like Lucio Fulci, it’s hard to top yourself.  Where do you go after the eyeball scene in Zombie?  Luckily for us, he kept a little gas in the tank for The Devil’s Honey.  I can’t say it’s one of his best pictures overall, but it does contain a few moments of Fulci at his WTF peak.   

For starters, the movie begins with a scene in which a musician uses a saxophone as a marital aide on his girlfriend.  I bet this just jumped to the number one spot on your “Must See” list, didn’t it?  Later in the film, he makes her give him a hand job while he’s riding a motorcycle.  He also forces her to put a gun on her crotch for a video shoot.  There’s also a scene where Brett Halsey watches a hooker rub nail polish all over her nether regions. 

It’s almost a manual for what not to do with your genitals. 

Anyway, Corinne (Moonraker) Clery catches her doctor husband (Halsey) with a prostitute and threatens to divorce him.  Halsey is still reeling from the news when he goes to operate on a saxophone player (Stefano Madia).  Unable to perform the operation, the patient dies in surgery.  The saxophone player’s girlfriend (Blanca Marsillach), already a bit nuts due to their sadomasochistic relationship, starts sending Halsey death threats.  Eventually, she kidnaps him and tortures him, but they soon begin their own kinky relationship. 

For the first half-hour or so, you’re going to think The Devil’s Honey is gearing up to be a classic.  Somewhere along the way Fulci kind of forgets to up the sleaze quotient.  Then again, when your picture starts with a forced orgasm via saxophone, it’s hard to keep that momentum going.   

The problem lies mostly with the third act.  It’s here where Marsillach holds Halsey prisoner.  Instead of keeping the focus on her increasingly psycho behavior, Fulci cuts to flashbacks of her tumultuous relationship with Madia.  These cutaways take away from the tension and lessens the overall impact of the final scene.  Even with that in mind, The Devil’s Honey will be well-worth watching for Fulci aficionados.  

AKA:  Dangerous Obsession.  AKA:  Divine Obsession.

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: BLOOD AND LACE (1971) ** ½

A frightened teenage girl named Ellie (Melody Patterson) tries to run away after the brutal death of her prostitute mother.  A social worker takes her to an orphanage ran by the cruel Mrs. Deere (Gloria Grahame), who punishes bad kids by locking them in the attic.  If any teen tries to run away, she kills them with the help of her lush handyman (Len Lesser) who hides the bodies in the freezer in the cellar.  Mrs. Deere also trades sexual favors with the social worker, so he’ll overlook all her various infractions.  When Ellie tries to run away, she sets herself up to be the orphanage’s next freezer pop kid. 

Blood and Lace kicks off with a dynamite double murder.  The POV shots of the hammer in this opening sequence are eerie and effective.  Too bad director Philip Gilbert couldn’t do anything to jazz up the slow and uninvolving second act.  At least the cinematography is crisp, and the film looks great throughout. 

The finale where Ellie fights for her life is OK, but it just doesn’t measure up to the opening hammer murders.  The generic music in these scenes does little to sell the tension either.  The twist ending isn’t bad though (it feels like something out of a William Castle movie) and leaves things on a rather demented note.   

Patterson carries the film effortlessly.  It’s a shame she never became a bigger name because she is quite good here.  Grahame does a fine job as the psycho old biddy and Vic (Alice) Tayback injects some life into the movie whenever he’s on screen as a detective who continually pesters Patterson.  

AKA:  The Blood Secret.

ZERO TOLERANCE (2015) * ½

A detective (Sahajak Boonthanakit) investigates the death of a hooker.  Turns out she’s the daughter of his friend (21 Jump Street’s Dustin Nguyen).  Since they used to be members of an elite paramilitary team back in the day, they decide to use their old skill set to find the murderer. 

Scott Adkins is front and center on the DVD box, Because of that, you might be tempted to think that this is an action flick, but it’s really a dull detective story.  Heck, it’s not even really a Scott Adkins movie.  (He plays the daughter’s boyfriend, who’s also involved in some shady dealings.)  It’s honestly more of a Dustin Nguyen vehicle, which is something I’m not sure a lot of people were clamoring for.  Now you can see why they put Adkins on the box.   

Gary Daniels also shows up for a bit, but he isn’t given much to do either.  Even though he plays a villainous pimp, he never fights anybody, let alone Adkins, which might have been a reason to watch it.  Since Daniels and Adkins are mostly wasted, the bulk of the movie lies squarely on Nguyen’s shoulders.  Unfortunately, he’s just too bland and uninteresting to carry the film.  I wouldn’t say I had zero tolerance for him or anything, but he isn’t very good either. 

Zero Tolerance was directed by Wych Kaosayananda.  AKA:  Kaos.  AKA:  the director of Tekken 2.  His over-edited action sequences are usually headache-inducing, but there isn’t a whole lot of action here, so he is pretty much kept in check.  He does get a little ADD during the opening title sequence and the strip club montages though.  While the action beats are brief, there are one or two memorable bits (like when Nguyen sticks an ejected clip in a guy’s neck), but they are few and far between.   

Note:  The movie’s alternate title makes you think it’s a sequel to 2 Guns, even though there’s nothing here to remotely link the two films together. 

AKA:  2 Guns:  Zero Tolerance.

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: VIDEO NASTIES: MORAL PANIC, CENSORSHIP AND VIDEOTAPE (2010) *** ½

Jake West’s Video Nasties documentaries cover a lot of the same ground David Gregory’s Ban the Sadist Videos series did.  West isn’t as good of a documentarian as Gregory, and therefore, his films aren’t quite as compact and concise.  Despite that, this first installment has several strengths and remains an entertaining look at banned ‘80s horrors.   

I liked the brief segment early on that details the video wars of the early ‘80s.  Anyone who ever owned a Beta machine can’t help but feel a little misty-eyed over this sequence.  The montage that counts down all 72 of the Video Nasties and shows money shot after money shot of each title is awesome too.  I just wish there were more footage from the films throughout the picture. 

West repeats a lot of the old archival footage that Gregory used for his film, so you might get a sense of déjà vu while watching it.  He does however find a few new angles to work with.  The shots of videos being burned by officials are quite shocking and are likened to Nazi book burnings.  West also interviews newer directors like Neil Marshall who were influenced by those films.  Hearing Marshall talk about watching I Spit on Your Grave for the first time is a real treat. 

While I give Gregory’s documentaries the slight edge over this one, West still did a fine job.  He champions the gory films and condemns their eventual censorship.  Both series are must-sees for anyone who’s ever watched a Video Nasty. 

AKA:  Video Nasties:  The Definitive Guide.

THOR: RAGNAROK (2017) ****

Thor:  Ragnarok is set in the Iron Man 3 mold.  A fresh and energetic director (in this case, What We Do in the Shadows’ Taika Waititi) comes in and gives a potentially tired superhero a makeover.  Like what Shane Black did for Tony Stark in Iron Man 3, Waititi and his screenwriters see what Thor is made of by taking away everything that makes him Thor. His father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) passes away.  An evil villainess (Cate Blanchett) destroys his hammer and murders his friends.  Heck, he even loses his trademark golden locks when he is made to fight in a gladiatorial bout.  One holdover from the other Marvel films is the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo).  Even then, he’s a mindless pit fighter whom Thor must beat the snot out of in order to make him come to his senses.   

Facing the eventual destruction of his home world of Asgard, Thor and Hulk must find a way off the planet ruled by The Grandmaster (a hilarious Jeff Goldblum).  They turn to a ramshackle team of oddballs and misfits including a drunkard Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) and a blue rock man (Waititi) to make their escape.  Naturally, Thor’s trickster brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) enters the fray.  Surely, he can be trusted this time, right? 

Waititi was a great choice to direct.  This isn’t a case of an indie director being given a giant blockbuster and being turned into a corporate Yes Man.  His unique sensibilities are firmly intact and as a result, Waititi has made the funniest Marvel movie to date.  Sure, we knew he can do comedy, but the big surprise is that he handles the action sequences with the knack of a gifted action director.  The opening sequence where the camera follows Thor’s hammer as it decimates a horde of CGI monsters is one of the best action scenes in a Marvel flick to date and the finale is a real showstopper too. 

Waititi even manages to steal the movie as the hulking, but soft-spoken alien sidekick.  In fact, all the new players are full of energy and help revitalize the franchise.  The villains in particular are a hoot.  Blanchett has never been hotter and it’s a treat to see her chewing the scenery with relish.  Goldblum looks like he’s having the time of his life playing the devious Grandmaster and Karl Urban gets a nice little character arc as a guard who is swayed by Blanchett’s power.  Also, be on the lookout for the members of Loki’s acting troupe.  They provide some of the biggest laughs in the film. 

Ragnarok is most importantly a testament to Hemsworth’s charisma.  He showed he’s a gifted comedian in the Vacation and Ghostbusters remakes, but he really comes into his own as a leading man here.  He also generates more sparks with Thompson than he ever did in two movies with Natalie Portman. 

Hemsworth plays the comedic material naturally.  It’s not like, “Oh look, Thor’s suddenly a comedian”; it’s a natural organic progression of his character.  In the first film, he was a headstrong youth ready to claim his throne.  Now, many sequels and team-ups later, he’s to the point where nothing fazes him, even a thousand-foot-tall lava beast.  He’s gone from hammer-wielding braggart to nonplussed wisecracking observer.  Whereas most of the characters in the other Marvel films seem to stay stagnant, Thor has shown he gets better with age. 

Another brilliant stroke was getting Mark Mothersbaugh to do the score.  It’s got a funky ‘80s flavor that is perfectly in tune with Waititi’s colorful throwback aesthetic.  Seriously, can we just get Mothersbaugh to provide the music for all the Marvel films for now on?    

Marvel Cinematic Universe Scorecard: 

Avengers:  Age of Ultron:  ****

The Incredible Hulk:  ****

Iron Man:  ****

Thor:  Ragnarok:  ****

Spider-Man:  Homecoming:  ****

Iron Man 3:  ****

Captain America:  Civil War:  *** ½

Ant-Man:  *** ½

Guardians of the Galaxy:  *** ½

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:  *** ½

The Avengers:  ***

Captain America:  The First Avenger:  ***

Captain America:  The Winter Soldier:  ***

Thor:  ***

Thor:  The Dark World:  ***

Iron Man 2:  ***

Doctor Strange:  ** ½  

2017 Comic Book Movie Scorecard:

The LEGO Batman Movie:  ****

Thor:  Ragnarok:  ****

Spider-Man:  Homecoming:  ****

Logan:  ****

Wilson:  *** ½

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:  *** ½

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets *** ½

Wonder Woman:  *** ½

Ghost in the Shell:  *** ½

Atomic Blonde:  **

Death Note:  **