HOUSE OF SHADOWS (1976) * ½

An orphan (Leonor Manso) goes looking for a lost dog and follows it to a creepy old mansion where she witnesses a murder.  As it turns out, the woman she saw has already been dead for twenty years.  She slowly becomes obsessed with her and begins to suspect she's been possessed by the dead woman’s spirit.

Most of House of Shadows is devoted to long scenes of our heroine walking around dark corridors with a flashlight as she investigates weird noises or looks for lost dogs.  If you can’t already guess, this gets tedious quickly.  The laborious, narrated flashbacks are even duller and pretty much stops the movie on a dime every time Manso delves back into the past.  

At least director Richard Wullicher delivers a fairly atmospheric opening sequence.  The climax, though predictable, also has a healthy dose of gothic doom and gloom.  Too bad everything in between is such a dreary, slow-moving, slog.  We do get a nifty scene in which a guy in a wheelchair is placed on a train track, but these murder set-pieces are too few and far between to save the movie.

Manso makes for an OK leading lady.  She certainly fares better as the present-day incarnation of the character than as her ancestral counterpart.  (She looks a bit lost in her period garb.)  Yvonne (The Munsters) De Carlo gets to chew the scenery a bit as Manso’s ward, although not as much as you’d probably expect.  John (Psycho) Gavin is also around as the boring love interest who isn’t given very much to do.

CODE NAME VENGEANCE (1989) **

A young prince and his mother are kidnapped by a terrorist (James Ryan).  America wants to protect her interests in the prince’s nation, so Don Gordon sends mercenary prisoner Robert Ginty on a rescue mission.  Along the way, he picks up his old mentor (Cameron Mitchell) to join the team as his explosives expert and together, they set out to rescue the prince.

Code Name Vengeance was directed by David Winters without any real sense of style.  The action scenes are plentiful and lots of stuff goes boom.  However, the staging of these sequences leaves a lot to be desired.  The pacing is also slow and sluggish, especially in the middle section of the film.  The script is painfully predictable too and you can spot every single plot twist coming from a mile away.  (Seriously, would YOU trust a mission masterminded by Don Gordon?)

The cast has all seen better days, but they’re the only real reason to watch it.  Ginty isn’t bad, and he escapes the flick with his dignity more or less intact.  It’s just unfortunate that the quality of the movie is closer to Warrior of the Lost World than The Exterminator.  He does get a good love scene with Shannon Tweed, who plays a sexy helicopter pilot.  Tweed looks great topless, but honestly, the film really needed one or two more of these scenes to make it worthwhile.  Mitchell provides some spark as the crusty old mentor, although his mildly amusing antics aren’t nearly enough to salvage the picture.

Winters and Mitchell teamed up the next year for the hilarious Space Mutiny.

AKA:  Code Name Hellfire.

BAD ASSES (2014) ***

Danny Trejo returns as the elderly ass-kicker, Bad Ass.  This time, he’s out to avenge the death of his young boxing protegee who was killed by a bunch of drug dealers.  Aiding him in his quest is a crotchety old liquor store owner and former hockey player (Danny Glover) who, despite his advanced age can still throw down.

The first Bad Ass had a distinct Death Wish type of vibe in its second half and Bad Asses picks up the baton nicely.  This is a rather straightforward revenge picture that gives Trejo plenty of moments to shine.  My favorite bit was when he tortured a college drug pusher (played by Jonathan Lipnicki from Jerry Maguire!) by shoving an oscillating fan onto his nether regions and saying “Mazel Tov!”

The addition of Danny Glover was inspired and keeps this sequel from getting stale.  Some of the best scenes in the movie just contain the Two Dannys busting each other’s balls.  Glover has a lot of chemistry with Trejo and is often very funny.  Heck, he just about steals the whole movie from Trejo!  Glover without a doubt proves once again that he is definitely not getting too old for this shit.

The casting of the villain was inspired.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen Andrew Divoff in a major role, so it was good seeing him playing the slimy Argentinian villain.  I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to see Danny Trejo square off against the Wishmaster?

Bad Asses also continues the tradition of using footage from another movie in its climax.  In this case, it’s Narrow Margin.  Most times when a film does this, it reeks of desperation, but somehow when the Bad Ass series does it, it comes off as weirdly endearing.

AKA:  Bad Ass 2:  Bad Asses.

SPACE GIRLS IN BEVERLY HILLS (2009) ½ *

Don’t let the title, cover, and the presence of Julie Strain make you think this is a Skinamax movie.  It’s more of a vanity project for Donna (Dinosaur Valley Girls) Spangler.  In addition to starring as Katana, the lead space girl, she also wrote the screenplay, produced and sings some crummy songs.  She isn’t a bad actress, but her script is lousy and full of unfunny jokes.

After a Star Wars-style opening crawl, the plot begins.  A trio of sexy space women led by Spangler are sent to Beverly Hills to find men to repopulate their alien race.  Meanwhile, a rich playboy (director Tim Colceri) goes trolling around the city looking for a hot date.  The space women crash land in his yard, and he takes them in.  Eventually, he and Spangler fall in love and helps her accomplish her mission.

It’s one thing to do a throwback to a ‘50s sci-fi movie.  However, if you’re going to do that, at least have special effects and sets that are on par with the good old days.  The CGI special effects and backgrounds are terrible, and the spaceship interiors are shoddy.

There’s really nothing here that a little nudity wouldn’t cure.  Sadly, none of the space girls (or earth girls for that matter) get naked.  For a movie where the characters constantly talk about sex and/or dress in skintight outfits, there’s no nudity, which sends the film right down the shitter.  When Colceri and Spangler finally hook up, they cut right to the cuddling and don’t even show them getting it on.  I mean, what can you say about a movie in which the hero gets a gratuitous shower scene and the leading lady doesn’t?  Imagine a Skinamax flick without the nudity and that’s about what you get with Space Girls in Beverly Hills.

It also doesn’t help that it takes the space girls almost an hour to get to Earth.  Just when you think it can’t get any worse, Spangler sings not one, but three crappy love songs. Julie Strain is the only name in the cast.  She’s only in the early scenes as the space queen who sends the girls on their mission.  After she disappears, so does the fun.

Colceri gets the best line of the movie when he says, “This is the snatch capital of the world!”

BAD ASS (2012) ***

The world needs more Mexploitation action flicks starring Danny Trejo beyond the Machete series.  Bad Ass fills that void nicely.  It sometimes feels like a throwback to an ‘80s Charles Bronson actioner with a decidedly Latin flavor (there’s often mariachi music on the soundtrack).  Other times, it feels like one of those ‘90s DTV thrillers that shamelessly recycle action scenes from other movies.  (It steals the bus chase from Red Heat for its climax.)  

The world also needs more geriatric-centered action movies.  I mean we cannot get by on Gran Torino and Bubba Ho-Tep alone.  That’s another reason why Bad Ass works so well.

At the center of everything is another great performance by Trejo.  He’s playing a character that’s older than himself, but there’s still enough of that badass swagger here that’s made him such a cinematic legend.  If you’re a fan of the man, you’ll won’t want to miss this one.

Trejo stars as an elderly Nam vet whose life seems to have slowly slipped by him.  One day, while riding a bus, he notices two skinheads harassing an old man and he interjects.  They provoke him, and he beats their ass in record time.  A passenger captures the fight on their phone and it quickly becomes an internet sensation.  People start looking up to him and he even earns the nickname “Bad Ass”.  When his friend is killed, Bad Ass soon realizes that the system doesn’t work, so he goes out on the street seeking his own brand of justice.

Sporting a beard, a baseball hat, and a fanny pack, Trejo is miles away from his usual screen persona.  At least on the outside.  Even though the dude is rocking the fanny pack, the movie never makes fun of him.  If anything, it is a reminder to respect your elders because they can surely kick your ass anytime they want.

The first half feels like it’s going to be more of a comedy.  Things switch gears in the second half when it becomes a decent Death Wish variation.  Director Craig Moss handles the switch seamlessly as there are plenty of laughs and legitimate badass moments to be had in both sections.

The supporting cast is solid.  Ron Perlman makes for a suitably evil villain as the crooked politician who ordered the hit on Trejo’s buddy.  Charles S. Dutton also puts in a good turn as Perlman’s enforcer.  The movie really belongs to Trejo though.  He’s a lot of fun to watch and I surely hope he continues making more of these (I plan on watching the sequels very soon) because the world needs more Mexican (and elderly) action heroes.

VENUS RISING (1996) *

A young woman named Eve (Audie England) escapes from a futuristic island prison and winds up in a resort area.  She befriends a pill-popping woman (Meredith Salenger) who shows her kindness and takes her in.  When her host disappears mysteriously, Eve is left to her own devices.  She then noodles around on her Virtual Reality headset and begins frequenting online sex rooms.  She even manages to find love with her cyberspace boyfriend (Billy Wirth) in real life.  Eventually, another prisoner (Costas Mandylor) comes looking for Eve, which threatens to ruin everything for her.

There are times where Venus Rising almost feels unfinished.  I don’t know if the budget ran out of money or if the script was already wonky to begin with.  It tosses a lot of elements together like prison escapes, futuristic advances (there’s a silver pyramid that offers mood-enhancing pills), and Virtual Reality (which was big at the time and is now enjoying a sizeable renaissance today), but nothing really sticks.  The sci-fi elements seem half-hearted at best (or maybe that was due to the restrained budget) and are incongruous with the main thrust of the action. It’s also slow moving, awkwardly paced, and not very involving.  

Its biggest crime though is that it manages to waste a good cast that includes Joel Grey, Dennis Dun, Morgan Fairchild, and Jessica Alba (who plays a young version of Eve in a dream/flashback).  None of them are given anything remotely useful to do, which makes the movie even more frustrating.  I guess it would be one thing if Audie England could carry the film on her own accord, but she just doesn’t have the chops to portray a likeable heroine.

In short, Venus Rising sinks to the bottom of the barrel.  

ELVIS PRESLEY: THE SEARCHER (2018) ***

Elvis Presley:  The Searcher was made with the cooperation of Graceland and Priscilla Presley.  It’s a massive, two-part, nearly four-hour documentary on the life and times of The King.  Quite honestly, it could’ve been whittled down to a two-hour running time.  With so many documentaries and specials about Elvis already out there, I’m not sure why we needed another one.  However, there are enough stirring moments (particularly in the second part) to make its existence justified.

The first part (** ½) covers Elvis’ youth, rise to stardom, and entry into the Army.  All this material has been covered countless times before and done much better in a shorter time.  I also could’ve done without all the pointless shots of the interior of Graceland while producers, writers, and other performers talk about Elvis.  The problem is that the pool of interviewees seems a bit small.  While hearing from Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen is cool and all, the stuff from Elvis’ friends and confidants are much more enlightening.  I for one would’ve liked to hear more from Elvis in his own words because when he speaks, whether through candid interviews or in song lyrics, it says more about him than anyone else could say. 

The second half (*** ½) is a big improvement. It covers the time after Elvis’ military service, his string of Hollywood movies, the Comeback Special, and the non-stop touring of his later years.  While I don't agree with the documentary’s consensus that his movies were mostly terrible (even the worst ones are worth watching just because of his singular screen presence), everything about the second half feels tighter and more concise.  Also, we hear a lot more from Elvis in this section, which helps put us squarely in his headspace.  

The most effective moments surround his final days.  When we hear Elvis singing “Hurt” days away from his death during the “Jungle Room Sessions”, it gives us a clearer picture of what he was going through than anything else in the movie can offer.  The moments where we hear him perform “Separate Ways” in the context of his divorce is equally heart-wrenching.  The film also cunningly finds a way to let The King go out on top, ending things with him performing a rousing rendition of “If I Can Dream” from the Comeback Special.

As good as the second half of Elvis Presley:  The Searcher is, it’s far from perfect.  They gloss over his black belt in karate and don’t mention his historic meeting with Richard Nixon at all.  Despite that, there are plenty of good moments here.  I’m sure there was an excellent two-hour documentary lurking about, if only director Thom Zimny had been disciplined enough to pare it down more.  Even in its overlong form, it’s still worth a look for die-hard Elvis fans.