SPACE GIRLS IN BEVERLY HILLS (2009) ½ *

Don’t let the title, cover, and the presence of Julie Strain make you think this is a Skinamax movie.  It’s more of a vanity project for Donna (Dinosaur Valley Girls) Spangler.  In addition to starring as Katana, the lead space girl, she also wrote the screenplay, produced and sings some crummy songs.  She isn’t a bad actress, but her script is lousy and full of unfunny jokes.

After a Star Wars-style opening crawl, the plot begins.  A trio of sexy space women led by Spangler are sent to Beverly Hills to find men to repopulate their alien race.  Meanwhile, a rich playboy (director Tim Colceri) goes trolling around the city looking for a hot date.  The space women crash land in his yard, and he takes them in.  Eventually, he and Spangler fall in love and helps her accomplish her mission.

It’s one thing to do a throwback to a ‘50s sci-fi movie.  However, if you’re going to do that, at least have special effects and sets that are on par with the good old days.  The CGI special effects and backgrounds are terrible, and the spaceship interiors are shoddy.

There’s really nothing here that a little nudity wouldn’t cure.  Sadly, none of the space girls (or earth girls for that matter) get naked.  For a movie where the characters constantly talk about sex and/or dress in skintight outfits, there’s no nudity, which sends the film right down the shitter.  When Colceri and Spangler finally hook up, they cut right to the cuddling and don’t even show them getting it on.  I mean, what can you say about a movie in which the hero gets a gratuitous shower scene and the leading lady doesn’t?  Imagine a Skinamax flick without the nudity and that’s about what you get with Space Girls in Beverly Hills.

It also doesn’t help that it takes the space girls almost an hour to get to Earth.  Just when you think it can’t get any worse, Spangler sings not one, but three crappy love songs. Julie Strain is the only name in the cast.  She’s only in the early scenes as the space queen who sends the girls on their mission.  After she disappears, so does the fun.

Colceri gets the best line of the movie when he says, “This is the snatch capital of the world!”