THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME (2018) *

Mila Kunis stars as a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend (Justin Theroux) who just so happens to be a spy… if you already didn’t infer that from the title.  After he is killed, she comes into possession of a flash drive that several interested parties want for themselves.  It’s then up to Mila and her goofball gal pal (Kate McKinnon) to avoid a bevy of hired assassins and enemy agents to return the info to her ex’s boss (Gillian Anderson). 

The Spy Who Dumped Me has a sitcom premise and a one-joke set-up.  Even then, there aren’t enough laughs to fill a half-hour TV show.  (Heck, there aren’t any laughs to be had at all.)  You would even be pushing it to have a ninety-minute comedy with this sort of plot.  As it stands, the movie clocks in at nearly two hours, much of which is filled with unfunny situations and desperate gags.  Many scenes are needlessly dragged out way too long and don’t really forward the plot.  It sometimes almost feels like you’re watching an assembly cut where every blessed thing that was shot was tossed in there without any consideration whatsoever.    

I usually enjoy Kunis’ work, but she is sorely miscast as the everywoman who is suddenly thrust into a world of international intrigue and must go from Plain Jane to Jane Bond.  Even the reliably hilarious McKinnon fails to generate any laughs as Kunis’ bestie who tags along for the ride.  Since she wasn’t given much to work with, she just resorts to a lot of unfunny mugging, which is often painful to sit through.  Theroux is ideally cast as the secret agent, although he isn’t around long enough to leave much of an impression one way or another. 

Maybe the problem is that the action stuff hews closer to the Jason Bourne movies than the James Bond franchise.  I mean there was a spy series that knew how to balance laughs and thrills.  The Bourne-style action scenes don’t mesh at all with the lame humor and McKinnon’s shenanigans, and even when they do introduce some Bond-inspired gadgets, it’s too little, too late.  It would be one thing if the movie swung for the fences and went for gross-out gags the way The Brothers Grimsby did.  Unfortunately, this just feels like The Heat with a license to kill.

AKA:  Bad Spies. 

HINDSIGHT IS 2020: THE OUTPOST (2020) ***

The Outpost tells the true story of heroic soldiers stationed in an outpost in Afghanistan.  Despite the fact the place is a logistical nightmare and nearly impossible to defend, the grunts stick to their mission of easing tensions with the locals.  When the Taliban finally attacks, the soldiers rise to the occasion and fight back against unbeatable odds to hold their position. 

On the surface, The Outpost looks like it’s going to be one of those generic DTV war movies that your grandfather would watch.  I was a bit worried in the beginning as the character introductions were done in the form of title cards with their names on it.  I usually hate this form of shorthand, but it made sense since there are so many characters on the base, and it’s a little hard to keep track of everyone.  

I was also concerned by the fact that the cast was mostly comprised of sons of much better-known actors.  The offspring of Clint Eastwood, Mel Gibson, and Mick Jagger are in this movie, which was enough to make me kind of wish their respective fathers had made a similar film together forty years earlier.  We even get the grandsons of Richard Attenborough and Alan Alda in there as well.  This rampant nepotism gave me the feeling this was going to be a modern-day version of those old DTV action movies in which sons and brothers of more famous movie stars were passed off as real actors.  I mean the biggest name in the cast is The Lord of the Rings’ Orlando Bloom, who gets the “And” billing on the poster, so you can probably guess what happens to him early on.

The first half is kind of ambling and episodic, which didn’t do much for my confidence.  Also, the ham-fisted dialogue like, “We can’t argue and fight” that’s supposed to be profound, comes off as clunky.  Once the proverbial shit hits the fan, the movie, like the soldiers it honors, digs deep and goes above and beyond the call of duty.

I guess I shouldn’t have doubted director Rod Lurie.  I’m a big fan of The Last Castle and I appreciated his Straw Dogs remake more than most.  Although the early sequences are a tad scattershot, he does a fine job at creating suspenseful battle sequences once the film goes all-in on the action.  His “You are There” camerawork heightens the suspense without resorting to the typical shaky-cam stuff that ruins most movies.  I can’t quite put it on the same pedestal as Saving Private Ryan, but there are certainly some harrowing moments that echo that classic.

Once the attack begins, the movie really kicks into overdrive.  The characters who at this point were a bit interchangeable, come into focus.  This is the kind of film I like where the characters are defined by their actions and not dialogue.  The performances are all fine, with Scott Eastwood being a standout and delivering a bit of his old man’s squinty-eyed charm. 

At its heart, The Outpost is a memorial to the men who served.  Mostly though it plays like a modernized B war picture.  I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way, either.  I’m talking about the kind that Sam Fuller used to make (there’s even a character named “Griff”), when men were men, and the film was as tough as the soldiers it depicted.  It’s fine tribute to the men that fell in battle while simultaneously being a compelling war movie. 

42ND STREET FOREVER! VOLUME 1: HORROR ON 42ND STREET (2004) *** ½

This excellent trailer compilation was released by Ban 1 Productions.  It is unrelated to the identically titled 42^nd Street Forever line that was put out by Synapse the following year.  However, it’s just as good, if not better than the compilations found in that series. 

Despite the subtitle, “Horror on 42^nd Street”, there are plenty of non-horror films featured.  In fact, about halfway through, there is a big shift in tone as we get a slew of trailers for skin flicks and nudie movies.  Some may be a little disappointed by the bait-and-switch, but since the other non-horror trailers mostly consist of oddities, time capsules, and actioners, it’s okay by me. 

The complete rundown features:  Freaks, The Crippled Masters, The Mutations, Aroused, Invitation to Ruin (which looks amazing), Skidoo, The Wild Scene, The Wild Eye, The Animals, a double feature of Hookers Revenge and The Photographer’s Model (AKA:  Thriller:  A Cruel Picture and The House of Whipcord, respectively), Vigilante Force, Fighting Mad (two different trailers are shown back-to-back), Welcome Home Brother Charles, Shantytown Honeymoon (AKA:  Honey Britches), The House of Missing Girls, The Sins of the Daughter, School Girl Bride, Josie’s Castle (AKA:  Teenage Divorcee), Chatterbox, a double feature of The Blood Spattered Bride and I Dismember Mama (a classic staple of many a trailer compilation), two previews for Carnivorous (AKA:  Jungle Holocaust), The Food of the Gods, Tales of the Bizarre (AKA:  Bizarre), The Devil’s Rain, Black Christmas, The Legend of Boggy Creek, Creature with the Blue Hand, Mark of the Witch, Mark of the Devil 2, Virgin Witch, a double feature for Women and Bloody Terror and Night of Bloody Horror, The Revenge of the Blood Beast, Wonder Women, Savage Sisters, and a German trailer for Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom. 

With a collection like that in your arsenal, it’s hard not to be impressed.  Even if they play a little loose with the “horror” label, 42^nd Street Forever! Volume 1:  Horror on 42^nd Street is a blast from start to finish.  Any trailer compilation fan worth their salt will want to get their hands on this one.

PREVUES OF COMING ATTRACTIONS VOL. 2: BLAXPLOITEASIN’ (2009) ***

From the makers of Prevues of Coming Attractions Vol. 1:  Giallorama comes another collection of exploitation movie trailers.  This time around, the focus is on the Blaxploitation trend of the ‘70s.  At seventy-one minutes, it makes for a breezy recap of the genre, but I for one was hoping for something a bit more thorough and exhaustive. 

I don’t really have a problem with the trailers that we do get.  (Even though many of them have appeared on countless other compilations before.)  I mean, it’s hard to complain when you have a nice mix of Blaxploitation classics like Blacula, Foxy Brown, and Dolemite as well as some more obscure titles such as Honky, Black Girl, and Cool Breeze.  However, there are some notable omissions that are sorely missed.  While we do have the trailer for Shaft, there is no mention of Shaft’s Big Score or Shaft in Africa.  Additionally, the absence of both Super Fly and Super Fly TNT is quite glaring.

On the plus side, the trailers are shown in chronological order, which is a big plus.  This helps to showcase the growth of the genre and how it progressed (or regressed depending on your point of view) from dramatic fare like They Call Me Mister Tibbs! to more exploitative stuff like Mandingo.  Despite the quibbles I have with the collection, I must admit that the chronological approach works much better than the random assemblage of trailers found in most compilations.

In case you’re wondering, here’s the complete trailer line-up:  They Call Me Mister Tibbs!, Honky, Shaft, Black Girl, Blacula, Cool Breeze, Cleopatra Jones, Coffy, Savage!, Scream Blacula Scream, Sweet Jesus Preacherman, Black Samson, Foxy Brown, Mean Mother, Sugar Hill, Truck Turner, The Black Gestapo, Boss, Bucktown, Dolemite, Friday Foster (“Never Fear!  Pam Grier is Here!”), Mandingo, Sheba Baby, Take a Hard Ride, Welcome Home Brother Charles (AKA:  Soul Vengeance), Black Shampoo, Dr. Black Mr. Hyde, The Human Tornado, The Guy from Harlem, and Disco Godfather. 

HINDSIGHT IS 2020: CAPONE (2020) ** ½

After spending ten years in prison for tax evasion, disgraced gangster Al Capone (Tom Hardy) is released from jail.  His body riddled with syphilis, the Feds allow him to live out his final days in seclusion in his Florida mansion.  While Capone’s mental and physical state deteriorates, he is haunted by his past and comes to terms with his encroaching demise. 

Capone is a really odd mix of genres.  At its heart, it’s a gangster movie, but it feels more like a ghost story.  Imagine The Shining Meets A Christmas Carol starring Scarface and that sort of paints the picture.  While it’s kind of plodding and uneven, the film is just weird enough to keep you watching. 

Hardy’s performance is really something too.  In fact, it’s pretty much the whole show.  He snarls, screams, pisses, shits, drools, and farts his way through the film.  Many movies shit the bed figuratively.  This one does it literally.  His funky cadence and growly delivery often makes him sound like the love child of Popeye the Sailor Man and the Tasmanian Devil.  (He even spends a good chunk of the movie with a carrot sticking out of his mouth just like Bugs Bunny.)  Hardy is one of those guys like Nicolas Cage who creates such a memorable, offbeat character that it often doesn’t matter if the finished film itself is any good or not (this one is a toss-up).  However, he’s so out there that you can’t help but keep watching.  Any actor who shits himself not once but THREE times in a performance probably deserves some kind of award. 

The rest of the cast is basically playing catch-up to his antics.  Linda Cardellini has the thankless role of his wife, Kyle McLachlan is his doctor, and Matt Dillon shows up for a bit as his fishing buddy.  I like all these actors, but they just aren’t in the same movie as Hardy.

Writer/director/editor Josh Trank also made that awful Fantastic Four movie.  He was about to make a Boba Fett flick too before he shot himself in the foot on social media.  Capone is his comeback film of sorts.  It’s not exactly good, however it’s just too weird and eccentric to completely dismiss.  It’s just out there enough to make me curious to see what he does next.

AKA:  Fonzo.

SUDDEN DEATH (1985) ** ½

Two scumbag criminals steal a cab and go out for a joyride.  They pick up Valarie (Denise Coward), a young and successful businesswoman, and beat, rob, and rape her.  Unsatisfied with the police’s progress and determined not to become just another victim, Valarie buys a gun and goes into the city looking for her attackers.  Along the way, she is attacked and molested by even more rapists and sickos, all of whom she gleefully blows away using homemade exploding bullets.  Because of her choice of weapon, the media dubs her “The Dum-Dum Killer”.

As far as Rape n’ Revenge pictures go, Sudden Death is better than some, but it’s still only about half as good as say, Ms. 45.  (I guess that would make this Ms. 22 ½?)  It’s anchored by a tough performance by Coward, who makes for a credible action heroine, and is quite strong in her dramatic scenes.  I also give the film credit for exploring some territory that many more exploitative examples of the genre neglect to tread.  Namely, the fact that her asshole fiancée just wants her to get over the attack and move on.  However, it doesn’t have enough action to cut it as an action flick and it isn’t quite trashy enough to make it as a grindhouse movie. 

The writer/director was Sig Shore.  He also produced the original Super Fly and directed the sequel, The Return of Superfly.  He does a decent job all things considered, although the film does kind of lapse into a repetitive rhythm about halfway through.  (An attacker forces himself on Valarie, she fights back, and eventually pretends to relent before gunning them down.)  That is more of scripting issue than a directing criticism.

The title was changed in the UK to the hilarious Dirty Harriet.  While that title is good for a giggle, it kind of betrays the seriousness in which the material is handled and makes it sound like some sort of Airplane!-inspired parody.  Although that seriousness is appreciated in something like this, it doesn’t quite singlehandedly excuse its shortcomings. 

The biggest drawback is the subplot with the cop (Frank Runyeon) trying to bring the rapists down.  The film is noticeably less effective whenever he shows up.  In fact, when he and his partner take center stage late in the third act, it brings Sudden Death to a sudden halt.  Fortunately, Coward returns for the final showdown, but whenever she isn’t on screen, her absence is really felt. 

AKA:  Dirty Harriet. 

HINDSIGHT IS 2020: COME TO DADDY (2020) **

A young man (Elijah Wood) receives a letter from his long-estranged father (Stephen McHattie) requesting his presence in his home.  Their initial meeting is cordial, though awkward as hell.  Things take a turn for the worse however once daddy starts drinking and becomes verbally abusive towards his son.  There is an altercation, and then...

Well… to go any further would spoil the twist that occurs halfway through.  Let’s just say things take a turn (and not necessarily for the best) and it becomes an entirely different film.  Unfortunately, the first half is a lot more fun mostly due to the odd performance by McHattie. 

While the set-up is promising, the second act is kind of a letdown.  There is such a shift in energy and tone that it often feels like the filmmakers took two completely different scripts and Frankensteined them together.  The latter half just tries way too hard to be weird and edgy.  Imagine what a hipster version of a David Lynch film would look like and that might give you some clue as to what to expect.  

This portion of the picture is not without its highlights.  I mean you get to see Martin Donovan like you’ve never seen him before.  As a longtime fan of Donovan’s, I was intrigued by seeing him in such an atypical role, especially one that allowed him to channel some darkly humorous vibes.  Too bad he’s so incapacitated that it all feels like a wasted opportunity. 

Wood’s eccentric character can only take the movie so far.  You know you’re in trouble when you see his haircut and mustache.  It almost screams, “Hey, look at how goofy our main character looks!” 

Overall, Come to Daddy isn’t exactly bad per se.  It’s just that the two wildly inconsistent halves don’t mesh into a satisfying whole.  Some may applaud the weirdness-for-weirdness-sake approach to the second half, but for me, it lacked the dry spark of the early scenes. 

In short, stay away from Come to Daddy.