OUT OF BOUNDS (1986) * ½

Out of Bounds seems like an ‘80s Hollywood pitch meeting gone wrong.  It’s as if there were two execs in the room, one who wanted a John Hughes-style teenage movie and the other wanted a violent action flick in the vein of Walter Hill.  The final product plays like a compromise between both genres, but it’s neither fish nor fowl, making for a frustrating viewing experience.

Anthony Michael Hall stars as a green farm boy who is shipped off to live with his big brother in L.A.  While at the airport, he mistakenly grabs the wrong bag at the luggage carousel, which contains a million dollars’ worth of heroin.  If you’ve already asked yourself why a drug dealer would fly with that much heroin on him, you’re already too smart for this movie. 

Almost immediately, the drug dealer (Jeff Kober) tracks down the brother and mistakenly kills him and his wife.  He didn’t find Hall because he sleeps in a cottage in the backyard hidden behind a hedge that looks like it was made by Q in the James Bond films.  You see, the plot contrivances are getting to be too much already. 

Then, while being chased by the cops (who think he killed his own brother), Hall pulls a gun on a passing motorcyclist who gives him a ride.  Luckily for Hall, this guy is some sort of motorcycle stuntman as he is able to narrowly avoid objects at high speeds, crash through false fronts, and make giant leaps off conveniently placed ramps, leading to a big police car pile-up. 

If that’s too much to swallow, I won’t even tell you about how Hall is able to track down the girl he made small talk with on the plane.  Or how he’s able to blend in at a punk show with dyed black hair and leather jacket. 

From here, the movie devolves into one interchangeable shootout after the other.  Hall is cornered by Kober, and as he is about to shoot him, dumb luck intervenes and Hall escapes by the skin of his teeth.  Variations of this scenario are repeated ad nauseum until the whole thing becomes tedious.

The director was Richard Tuggle, whose only other directorial effort was the excellent Clint Eastwood thriller, Tightrope.  He also wrote Tightrope, which leads me to believe his heart really wasn’t in this one as the screenplay by Tony (Slipstream) Kayden is just too farfetched for its own good.  Maybe if Tuggle was working with a script of his own design (or one that didn’t completely hinge on the audience’s suspension of disbelief), it might’ve made for a tighter picture.  As it stands, Out of Bounds is bound to disappoint even the most die-hard of Anthony Michael Hall fans.

TERM LIFE (2016) ***

Vince Vaughn (who also produced) stars as Nick, a career criminal who makes his living by planning heists.  Because of the nature of his job, he has to keep a safe distance from his rebellious teenage daughter, Cate (Hailee Steinfeld).  When his latest caper ends with the death of the leader of the Mexican drug cartel's son, Nick has to skip town in a hurry.  The bad guys are after his daughter too, so Nick grabs Cate and together, they go on the lam.  Thinking he’s a dead duck, Nick takes a big insurance policy out on himself with Cate as the beneficiary.  The only problem is, he has to stay alive for the next three weeks in order for Cate to collect. 

Directed by Peter Billingsley (Ralphie from A Christmas Story) and based on a graphic novel I never heard of, Term Life is a breezy little crime flick that coasts on the charm and charisma of its two leads.  Sporting a terrible haircut (which he explains helps him blend in in a crowd), Vaughn dials it down a notch and gives his usual persona a paternal spin.  He and Steinfeld have a nice rapport and their chemistry helps the film over some of its narrative hiccups. 

Said hiccups occur mostly during the third act, which feels rushed and a tad anticlimactic.  I don’t know if the studio cut a bunch of scenes out or what, but it certainly feels choppier than the first seventy-five minutes or so.  The awkward narration also tries to cover some of the plot conveniences, although it’s really not enough to derail the movie or anything. 

The supporting cast is solid all the way through.  Jonathan Banks has some good scenes as Vaughn’s mentor.  Vaughn’s Swingers co-star Jon Favreau is pretty funny as the guy who bankrolls his heists.  Even small, throwaway roles are played by big names like Taraji P. Henson, Terrence Howard, and Mike Epps, which again leads me to believe they might’ve had larger roles that fell victim to the editing table.  Bill Paxton, an actor I usually love, is a bit miscast and one-note as the villain, but that’s more the screenplay’s fault than his.  Still, whenever Vaughn and Steinfeld are family bonding while dodging bullets, Term Life pays off big time. 

AKA:  Nick and Cate.

MA (2019) ***

A lot of horror movies preach about the dangers of teenage drinking, drug use, and premarital sex.  Most of them wait until the teenagers are already drunk, stoned, and deflowered before the horror starts.  This one begins in the parking lot of the liquor store as the clueless teens pester passersby to buy them alcohol.  If you’ve ever stood outside a liquor store and begged strangers to buy you booze as a kid, I’m sure there will be moments in Ma that will hit home for you. 

Sue Ann (Octavia Spencer), the lonely, middle-aged woman who buys the teens their hooch, offers them a proposition.  They can hang out in her basement where they will be supervised, and she’ll make sure they are okay to drive at the end of the night.  It seems like a good set-up until the privileged brats learn Sue Ann has an ulterior motive. 

Ma is a modernized take on the “From Hell” school of ‘90s thrillers.  This time, it’s the adopted den mother who turns out to be a twisted psycho.  Most of the tension comes from people who don’t pick up on social cues or overstay their welcome.  Sometimes though, that shit is scarier than a slasher with a knife.

Director Tate Taylor has had an interesting career.  He’s made box office hits (The Help, which also starred Spencer), biopics (Get on Up), thrillers (The Girl on the Train), and action flicks (Ava).  The films of his I have seen have all been slick and competently done, and while they aren’t classics or anything, I like the fact that he doesn’t seem to be beholden to one particular genre.

It doesn’t hurt that the film is stacked from top to bottom with talent.  Spencer does a fine job as the off-her-rocker Samaritan with sinister intentions.  We also have a solid turn by Juliette Lewis who plays the heroine’s mother.  There’s also Luke Evans and Missi Pyle as Lewis’ former high school friends who hit the right notes in the short time they’re on screen.  Allison Janney is a hoot too as Spencer’s bitchy boss.

The movie isn’t as successful once it veers into full-on horror in the last reel.  Once Sue Ann starts to finally get her revenge, it feels sort of rushed.  Like they needed a big horror climax or else people wouldn’t know it was a Blumhouse production.  Despite that, it’s a slick and solidly made horror thriller that gives Spencer an opportunity to chew the scenery. 

AKA:  Mama.

THE 2020 VIDEO VACUUM AWARDS

Well, folks.  We made it through 2020.  It was a pretty shitty year all the way around, but we somehow came through the other side of it.  What better way to celebrate than with the 14^th Annual Video Vacuum Awards?  Once again, we will be honoring the best (and not-so best) films of the past year. 

It was not a good year for movies.  Theaters shuttered their doors.  Studios dumped what crap they had on VOD and greedily held onto the big-ticket films, pushing their release dates further and further into the future.  Who knows when we’ll get to see the movies that were SUPPOSED to come out in 2020?  Warner Bros. was the big exception as they have begun to roll out their titles to home viewers via HBO Max.  Hopefully, other studios will follow suit.  If they don’t, 2021 might be a longer year than 2020. 

Speaking of long years, let us now announce the nominees for the 14^th Annual Video Vacuum Awards!  It was not a stellar year for films.  The nominees sort of reflect that, but hey, I did my damnedest to find some pearls among oysters.  So, without further ado, here are your nominees…

Best Picture

Bad Boys for Life

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

1BR

Skin:  A History of Nudity in the Movies

Trailer Trauma V:  70s Action Attack!

Worst Picture

Amityville Island

Books of Blood

The Invisible Man

Lucky

The Wretched

Best Director

Adil and Bilall for Bad Boys for Life

Dave Wilson for Bloodshot

Jason Woliner for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

David Marmor for 1BR

Peter Berg for Spenser Confidential

Best Actor

Vin Diesel in Bloodshot

Tom Hardy in Capone

Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys for Life

Marky Mark in Spenser Confidential

Will Smith in Bad Boys for Life

Best Actress

Maria Bakalova in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Nicole Brydon Bloom in 1BR

Blake Lively in The Rhythm Section

Kira Reed Lorsch in Amityville Witches

Elisabeth Moss in Shirley

Best Action Movie

Bad Boys for Life

Bloodshot

The Rhythm Section

Spenser Confidential

VFW

Worst Action Movie

Extraction

Guns Akimbo

Hard Kill

Rogue

Welcome to Sudden Death

Best DTV/Streaming Movie

The Bee Gees:  How Can You Mend a Broken Heart

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Castle Freak

Class Action Park

1BR

Worst DTV/Streaming Movie

Amityville Island

Books of Blood

Grand Isle

Lucky

Tremors:  Shrieker Island

Worst Horror Movie

Amityville Island

Lucky

The Invisible Man

Books of Blood

The Wretched

Best Dialogue

The Babysitter:  Killer Queen for “Plan B is more than a pill I take on Saturdays.”

Color Out of Space for “It’s time to milk the alpacas!”

Corona Zombies for “News?  Ewws!”

VFW for “Hindsight is 20/20!”

Werewolf Island for “It was a gnarly, unreal entity!”

I’ll announce the winners (as well as hold the “Technical Awards”) sometime around Valentine’s Day.  Till then, take care, stay safe, wear your mask, and watch some movies!

ATLAS IN THE LAND OF THE CYCLOPS (1963) **

The evil queen Capys (Chelo Alonso) sends soldiers to sack a rival city and commands them to assassinate the members of the royal family.  The king is slain, and Queen Penope (Vira Silente) is enslaved, but a dutiful aid manages to make sure their infant son escapes the city.  He then comes under the care of Maciste (Gordon Mitchell, billed as Mitchell Gordon, in his first starring role), and NOT Atlas, as advertised.  Maciste then pawns the kid off on a buddy so he can go and rescue Penope.  Naturally, Capys gets the hots for Maciste, who is more concerned about saving Penope than making time with an evil queen.

Maciste is kind of like the budget Hercules, and he performs more feats of strength than you can shake a stick at in this flick.  In addition to the ever-reliable bending prison bars and throwing boulders, he fights a lion, prevents a cave-in, lifts a fallen ox cart, carries a giant vase, and does battle with the humongous cyclops.  Too bad it feels like it takes forever until the final showdown.

Overall, Atlas in the Land of the Cyclops is an OK sword and sandal adventure.  After a good start, the film sort of dawdles once the action switches over to Capys’s palace.  Still, we get a good vestal virgin dance number out of it, so it’s not all bad.

Mitchell acts like a dolt for most of the running time, but I guess that’s sort of his shtick so that people will underestimate him.  It’s Alonso who steals the movie as the sultry Capys, but the biggest name in the cast is actually the baby.  He’s billed as “Baby Fabio”, and in case you’re wondering… yes, it’s THAT Fabio (!) making his screen debut!  He wouldn’t appear in a movie again until 1990 when he played an angel in Exorcist 3.  By that time, he was already famous for appearing on several Harlequin romance covers.  I wonder if he got the inspiration for his physique from Gordon Mitchell in this flick. 

AKA:  Maciste vs. the Cyclops.  AKA:  Monster from the Unknown World.  AKA:  Atlas Against the Cyclops.

THE LITTLE THINGS (2021) *** ½

By reviewing this, my first 2021 release of the new year, I am calling a moratorium on my Hindsight is 2020 column.  That means I should have the nominations for this year’s Video Vacuum Awards up sometime this week.  Until then, let’s dive into the crackling serial killer thriller, The Little Things. 

Denzel Washington stars as a disgraced former detective who’s been busted down to a regular patrolman in a small town.  While in the big city picking up evidence for a nothing case, he winds up seeing his old friends and co-workers.  As a gesture of goodwill, the hotshot detective (Rami Malek) who took his old job invites him to ride along on a crime scene investigation.  The old wheels start turning, and pretty soon, he starts working the case to stop a serial killer before he strikes again. 

This is an excellent showcase for Washington, who gives a powerhouse performance.  Playing above his age, he’s a little older and slower than we’re used to seeing, but he’s just as smart and determined to crack the case.  He’s especially good when he sees the ghosts of the victims pleading for help. 

Malek makes for a good foil.  He’s from the new school, but he’s smart enough to bow to Washington’s experience and knowhow when it suits the case.  They have a good rapport with one another that drives the plot forward.  We also get a fine turn by Jared Leto as the prime suspect.  He looks like a gaunt and creepy Jesus and is more successful at being slyly menacing here than he was as the Joker. 

The film is set in the ‘90s, and rightly so.  Not only was that the heyday of serial killer movies, but it was an era of no internet and DNA.  That meant cops had to catch killers using their own wits and good old-fashioned detective work. 

The Little Things is fine, absorbing stuff for about two-thirds of the way through.  The final act is sure to divide viewers, especially given the current climate.  At the risk of giving something away, I’ll only state that the film is less about catching a killer and more about living with the prospect that you might not.  Either that, or maybe you’re trying to capture a killer for all the wrong reasons.  Instead of doing it because it’s the right thing to do, you’re only doing it to help you sleep at night. 

The big confrontation is dragged out far too long.  The final scenes would’ve been just as effective even without the stuff with Leto playing mind games with Malek.  I think the symbolism of these scenes (again, I don’t want to spoil it) is a bit too on-the-nose.  Still, what comes after that scene is genuinely unnerving and has stuck with me ever since I saw it.  I highly recommended it to fans of Washington and the serial killer genre in general.

NIGHTBEAST (1982) *** ½

Director Don Dohler’s films always have a throwback sort of quality about them.  Even though they were very much a product of their time, they still felt like something that could’ve played at the drive-in in the ‘50s.  With Nightbeast, he added the allure of sex and gore, which instantly makes it more entertaining than his other movies.  In fact, this might be his Citizen Kane. 

An alien crashes his spaceship in a small Maryland town.  Almost immediately, he begins blasting the shit out of anyone that tries to make first contact with him.  The cops arrive and level the playing field by destroying his deadly ray gun, but the thing still has sharp claws and can rip people’s guts out like a knife through butter.  Adding to the police’s woes is a killer biker who is on the loose. 

You’ve got to love this movie.  The first fifteen minutes has the creature going on a rampage and shooting dozens of people with his ray gun.  Cops and local rednecks return fire, and a long shootout ensues with people getting vaporized left and right.  It’s like the Saving Private Ryan of made-in-Maryland horror movies. 

After about a half-hour or so, the pacing slows down considerably, and things become much more like your typical Don Dohler affair.  At least the scenes of gut ripping and decapitations help to liven things up whenever the plot starts flagging.  That and the rampant nudity (get a load of the blonde deputy who gets naked at the drop of a hat) ensure this is the best Dohler joint of all time. 

As you might expect, Count Gore De Vol himself, Dick Dyzel takes the acting honors.  He’s great as the perpetually drunk mayor who won’t let a little thing like an alien invasion get in the way with his political shindigs.  His death scene is a definite highlight too.

This was also the first credit for J.J. Abrams.  He did some of the music and provided sound effects for the flick.  Incredibly, he was only sixteen when he worked on Nightbeast.  I think it’s a lot more fun than The Force Awakens, that’s for sure.