Monday, February 1, 2021

THE 2020 VIDEO VACUUM AWARDS

Well, folks.  We made it through 2020.  It was a pretty shitty year all the way around, but we somehow came through the other side of it.  What better way to celebrate than with the 14th Annual Video Vacuum Awards?  Once again, we will be honoring the best (and not-so best) films of the past year. 

It was not a good year for movies.  Theaters shuttered their doors.  Studios dumped what crap they had on VOD and greedily held onto the big-ticket films, pushing their release dates further and further into the future.  Who knows when we’ll get to see the movies that were SUPPOSED to come out in 2020?  Warner Bros. was the big exception as they have begun to roll out their titles to home viewers via HBO Max.  Hopefully, other studios will follow suit.  If they don’t, 2021 might be a longer year than 2020. 

Speaking of long years, let us now announce the nominees for the 14th Annual Video Vacuum Awards!  It was not a stellar year for films.  The nominees sort of reflect that, but hey, I did my damnedest to find some pearls among oysters.  So, without further ado, here are your nominees…

Best Picture

Bad Boys for Life

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

1BR

Skin:  A History of Nudity in the Movies

Trailer Trauma V:  70s Action Attack!

Worst Picture

Amityville Island

Books of Blood

The Invisible Man

Lucky

The Wretched

Best Director

Adil and Bilall for Bad Boys for Life

Dave Wilson for Bloodshot

Jason Woliner for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

David Marmor for 1BR

Peter Berg for Spenser Confidential

Best Actor

Vin Diesel in Bloodshot

Tom Hardy in Capone

Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys for Life

Marky Mark in Spenser Confidential

Will Smith in Bad Boys for Life

Best Actress

Maria Bakalova in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Nicole Brydon Bloom in 1BR

Blake Lively in The Rhythm Section

Kira Reed Lorsch in Amityville Witches

Elisabeth Moss in Shirley

Best Action Movie

Bad Boys for Life

Bloodshot

The Rhythm Section

Spenser Confidential

VFW

Worst Action Movie

Extraction

Guns Akimbo

Hard Kill

Rogue

Welcome to Sudden Death

Best DTV/Streaming Movie

The Bee Gees:  How Can You Mend a Broken Heart

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm:  Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Castle Freak

Class Action Park

1BR

Worst DTV/Streaming Movie

Amityville Island

Books of Blood

Grand Isle

Lucky

Tremors:  Shrieker Island

Worst Horror Movie

Amityville Island

Lucky

The Invisible Man

Books of Blood

The Wretched

Best Dialogue

The Babysitter:  Killer Queen for “Plan B is more than a pill I take on Saturdays.”

Color Out of Space for “It’s time to milk the alpacas!”

Corona Zombies for “News?  Ewws!”

VFW for “Hindsight is 20/20!”

Werewolf Island for “It was a gnarly, unreal entity!”

I’ll announce the winners (as well as hold the “Technical Awards”) sometime around Valentine’s Day.  Till then, take care, stay safe, wear your mask, and watch some movies!

1 comment:

  1. I thought all the pictures on the worst lists were pretty dang good. Corona Zombies would get #1 on my worst list for how fucking lazy it is, using footage from superior and putting your own shitty COVID references over it barely qualifies as a movie, charging actual money for that garbage is borderline offensive to me.

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