WE’RE ALL GOING TO THE WORLD’S FAIR (2022) *

Casey (Anna Cobb) is a young girl who spends most of her time alone in her room making internet videos.  One day, the bored dolt does one of those dumb internet challenges, which I guess is supposed to be the latest variation on the Tide Pod Challenge.  If you ask me, any movie that asks us to sympathize with a character who is stupid enough to participate in a dumb internet challenge is already starting off on the wrong foot.

The challenge is kind of like a rip-off of “Bloody Mary” where you prick your finger, watch a weird internet video, and then say, “I’m going to the World’s Fair”.  Then, you’re supposed to “change”.  After Casey does the challenge, she hangs out in her room and passes the time by watching internet videos.  

NOTE TO FUTURE FILMMAKERS:  Don’t put a scene of your character mindlessly watching an online ASMR video in its entirety in the middle of your movie when your movie is already a snoozer to begin with.  Your audience is bored enough as it is.  They don’t need any more help falling asleep.

Then, we cut to some creepy ass dude (Michael J. Rogers) who watches Casey’s videos and may know more about the “World’s Fair” challenge than he lets on.  When they finally have a conversation on Skype, he disguises his voice so most of the dialogue is unintelligible.  It was here when I started to mentally check out of the movie.

It gets worse from there.  We see some of Casey’s internet videos, which are bad enough.  However, somehow, we get connected to Casey’s YouTube playlist, which plays an unending loop of lame internet videos.  I know it was asking too much for me to sympathize with a character who takes dumb internet challenges but asking me to sympathize with someone who leaves their YouTube on random is a bridge too far.  

Like most Shaky Cam movies, you have to sit through a LOT of bullshit before you finally find out where it’s all going.  I guess I don’t have to tell you that when we learn what the “World’s Fair” nonsense is all about, it’s disappointing as fuck.  The scariest part is the scene where the creepy internet dude takes a shit, and they show him on the can in an unbroken take that lasts an eternity.  You know you’re in trouble as a filmmaker when the only semi-effective scene you can pull off is showing some rando internet creep pinching a loaf.

TRAILERS #5: HORROR/SCI-FI EXPLOITATION OF THE ‘50S AND ‘60S (1992) *** ½

This is the kind of trailer compilation I would like to see more of.  It has a distinct theme running throughout (most of) the running time that thematically links the titles together.  It doesn’t even matter if many of these trailers appeared in previous Something Weird collections.  The fact that there’s an overreaching theme makes it more entertaining (to me, at least) than seeing just a random assortment of trailers tossed together.  

The theme for the first half of the compilation is monster/alien/maniacal women.  The trailers are linked by words in their titles, which makes it a lot of fun trying to guess which one is coming up next.  For example, Bride of Frankenstein, is followed by Bride of the Monster and The Brides of Fu Manchu.  Daughters are represented by Frankenstein’s Daughter, Daughter of Dr. Jekyll, and Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter (along with its co-feature, Billy the Kid vs. Dracula).  There’s Voodoo Woman, The Wasp Woman, The Leech Woman, and Night of the Cobra Woman.  (“Filmed in Slitherama!”)  The She-Creature, She Freak, and The Astounding She-Monster are also grouped together.

That’s a lot of lethal ladies!

There are also awesome taglines aplenty:  Queen of Blood (“She Turns the Milky Way into a Galaxy of GORE!”), Teenage Doll (“Hellcats in Tight Pants Running in Packs!”), Teenage Gang Debs (“The Go-Go Girls Who Go TOO FAR!”), Berserk (“I Get Stabbing Pains When I See a Victim Fall on Naked Bayonets!”) 

The girl power motif is dropped about halfway through, which is a tad disappointing.  While I wish they had kept the badass beauties theme, there’s still plenty of good shit here as we get a fun assortment of horror (Deadtime Stories, Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror, and Midnight), Al Adamson movies (Nurse Sherri, Girls for Rent, and Horror of the Blood Monsters), Empire Pictures (From Beyond, Troll, and Ghoulies), Blaxploitation (Ebony, Ivory, and Jade, Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde, and Dolemite), and drive-in fare (Sweet Sugar, Terminal Island, and Truck Stop Women), with an occasional oddity like Macabro (a bizarre looking Mondo movie) tossed in there for good measure.  I think my favorite trailer was the double feature of Dracula, Prince of Darkness and Plague of the Zombies, which advertised a great giveaway:  “’Dracula Fangs’ for every boy and ‘Zombie Eyes’ for every girl!”

Even though the title suggests all the trailers will be from the ‘50s and ‘60s, there’s a lot from the ‘70s, a few from the ‘80s, and even one from the ‘30s.  (Girls on Probation… starring RONALD REAGAN!)  You won’t care because there’s a helluva lot of great stuff here.  In addition to trailers, there are also a bunch of clips from spook show previews, commercials, newsreels, and drive-in concession ads peppered throughout to remind you of how very different the times were when these films were released.

Here's the complete trailer rundown:  The Blood-A-Rama Show (featuring, Blood Bath, Queen of Blood, Blood of Dracula, and A Bucket of Blood), Bride of Frankenstein, Bride of the Monster, The Brides of Fu Manchu, The Brides of Dracula, Spook Show ad, Frankenstein's Daughter, Daughter of Dr. Jekyll, “The Shock-O-Rama Show” (Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter and Billy the Kid vs. Dracula), Cat Girl, Devil Girl from Mars, refrigerator giveaway ad, Voodoo Woman, The Wasp Woman, The Leech Woman, The Snake Woman, Night of the Cobra Woman, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Prehistoric Women, The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Woman, The Wild Women of Wongo, newsreel footage of women in the Air Force, The She-Creature, She Freak, The Astounding She-Monster, She Demons, Bon Bon commercial, Lady Frankenstein, Queen of Blood, Teenage Doll, Teenage Gang Debs, Girls on Probation, Monika, the Story of a Bad Girl, Female Jungle, Gypsy Wildcat, Blood of Dracula, an ad for a “Double Love Show”, Strait-Jacket, Berserk, “Screaming Mee-Mee Spook Show ad, Frankenstein Created Woman, The Brain That Wouldn't Die, a wig ad, Dinah East, Sinderella and the Golden Bra, Nurse Sherri, ‎Girls for Rent, Blood-O-Rama Shock Festival, ‎From Beyond, Horror of the Blood Monsters, a double feature of Mutiny in Outer Space and The Human Duplicators, Troll, Blazing Stewardesses, Deadtime Stories, Ghoulies, Blood of Ghastly Horror, Satan's Sadists, Dracula vs. Frankenstein, Macabro, Frankenstein's Bloody Terror, The Twilight People, Don't Open the Window (AKA:  Let Sleeping Corpses Lie), Vampyres, The Booby Hatch, Midnight, a double feature of Dracula: Prince Of Darkness and Plague Of The Zombies, a double feature of Blood Bath and Queen of Blood, Bloodeaters, a drive-in PSA about speakers, The Green Slime, House Of Psychotic Women, Ebony, Ivory & Jade, Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde, Dolemite, The Human Tornado, Disco Godfather, Sweet Sugar, Terminal Island, and Truck Stop Women.

DORIS DECEMBER: LOVE TOY (1971) ****

Doris Wishman’s fabulously tawdry Love Toy is kind of like a warped predecessor to Indecent Proposal.  Marcus (Larry Hunter) loses everything he owns to Alex (Bernard Marcel) in a game of gin rummy.  Since Alex is a total perv, he says he’ll forgive Marcus’s gambling debt if he can have one night with his beautiful and innocent daughter, Chris (Pat Happel).  When Marcus refuses, Alex and his equally scummy wife Mary (‘60s sexploitation staple Uta Erickson in her next to last role) tie him up and begin to have their way with the waifish Chris.  

First, Alex makes Chris act like his childhood pet, Samuel, and forces her to get down on all fours and lap up milk from a saucer like a good little kitten.  Then, he wants Chris to be his “Mommy” and makes her breastfeed him.  (This dude has a thing for milk apparently.)  After that, Alex wants her to roleplay as his “Wife” and then… his “Daughter”.  Other games include “Horsey” and “Mistress”.  Eventually, Mary gets in on the antics, and finally, Marcus is forced to participate as well.

Moral of the Story:  Don’t play gin rummy with sex maniacs.

Wonderfully deranged, Love Toy is probably the nastiest, dirtiest, roughest roughie of Doris’s career.  Unlike the majority of Wishman’s projects, the editing is often crisp and concise, which helps the sex scenes pack a punch.  The scenes of humiliation wouldn’t work so well if Wishman didn’t do such a good job at setting them up.  Alex’s monologues about his past, especially when he’s talking about Samuel (“He had sad eyes… like you…”) perfectly set the stage for the degradations to come.  It also helps that the scenes of domination and cruelty have a nasty streak a mile wide.  

All four leads are excellent, especially Happel and Marcel.  His psychotic babblings are often just as jaw-dropping as his sexual antics.  I will say that the stuff with Erickson torturing the tied-up Hunter isn’t quite as memorable or effective (although I did like the scene where she used a bottle of perfume as a marital aid), but it serves as a decent palate cleanser to get you to the next degradation scene.

Like the previous year’s The Amazing Transplant, Love Toy features an opening title sequence of black and white photographs with red lettering.  Wishman dropped this motif after this film, which I guess was her way of saying goodbye to the roughie genre.  It was also nice seeing the same apartment location that would later turn up in Keyholes are for Peeping and Double Agent 73.

Yes, it’s a Doris movie through and through.  There are scenes where the sound is obviously out of synch as lots of dialogue is spoken by actors who are conveniently off screen.  There are random instances of actresses staring at themselves nude in the mirror, impromptu dance numbers, and an out of left field flashback to pad out the running time.  And as with Bad Girls Go to Hell, we learn in the end (SPOILER) it was all a dream/premonition.

Fans may be disappointed that there is only one incongruous shot of feet in the movie, and that it is a part of older footage that was spliced in after the fact.  Because of that, Love Toy is probably her least foot-friendly movie since The Hot Month of August.  However, it just goes to show how good the editing was this time around.  Doris didn’t need throwaway shots of feet to cover herself in the editing room.  

Well, maybe the editing isn’t perfect.  Like Keyholes are for Peeping, there’s a scene in color where someone spies on a couple having sex in black and white.  Since it takes place within the context of a flashback/memory/fantasy scene, it sort of makes sense.  However, this odd digression doesn’t derail the proceedings.

Overall, Love Toy is probably Wishman’s most competent, coherent, and effective movie, in terms of titillation.  While it’s missing the anything-goes nuttiness of her best stuff (Deadly Weapons and Let Me Die a Woman), it is really a sight to behold.  It’s certainly my favorite new-to-me film on AGFA/Something Weird’s three-part box set.

It's also the final film in the set.  I was able to watch and review all twenty-two movies in less than seventy-two hours.  (Seventy hours and twenty-five minutes, to be exact.)  While that brings the reviews from the box set to a close, I will try to track down a few more other Doris films before the end of the month.  

DORIS DECEMBER RANKINGS:

1. Deadly Weapons 

2. Let Me Die a Woman

3. Love Toy

4. Bad Girls Go to Hell

5. Double Agent 73

6. The Immoral Three

7. Indecent Desires

8. My Brother’s Wife

9. The Hot Month of August

10. The Sex Perils of Paulette

11. Another Day, Another Man

12. A Taste of Flesh

13. Nude on the Moon

14. Diary of a Nudist

15. Too Much Too Often

16. Gentlemen Prefer Nature Girls

17. Hideout in the Sun

18. Blaze Starr Goes Nudist

19. The Amazing Transplant

20. The Prince and the Nature Girl

21. Passion Fever

22. Keyholes are for Peeping or Is There Life After Marriage?

DORIS DECEMBER: KEYHOLES ARE FOR PEEPING OR IS THERE LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE? (1972) *

(Originally reviewed September 13th, 2019)

Sammy (Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla) Petrillo gets his marriage counselor diploma in the mail and sets off to make a name for himself in the profession.  Meanwhile, his own personal life is a wreck.  His girlfriend (Kristen Steen) won’t marry him because he always has to care for his dominating mother (also Petrillo, with his voice dubbed by the director, Doris Wishman).  As Petrillo meets with his patients, the superintendent (Phillip Stahl) in his apartment building spies on various tenants by looking through their keyholes.  

The naughty footage looks like it might’ve been taken from outer sources, perhaps old stag reels or even from Wishman’s other films for all I know.  Many of the sex scenes are tinted yellow for some damned reason.  Others are filmed through a negative filter which makes it impossible to tell what the hell is going on.  None of them are remotely sexy.  

Most Wishman movies are unintentionally hilarious.  If you’ve ever seen Let Me Die a Woman or Deadly Weapons you know what I’m talking about.  With this one she tries to be funny on purpose and the results are disastrous.  

Petrillo made his living imitating Jerry Lewis.  He unwisely dropped the act for this movie.  Sporting long hippie hair and doing random impressions (everyone from The Invisible Man to Porky Pig), and telling unfunny jokes, he never once elicits a single laugh from the audience.  You know they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel when he shows up in drag.  The results are pretty dire, even for Wishman’s standards.  

The film falls into a predictable pattern early on.  It goes back and forth from the unfunny scenes of Petrillo (who also may be familiar to you from his bit part in The Brain That Wouldn’t Die) interviewing women to the voyeur peeping on lovemaking couples.  Neither plotline hits its intended marks, making Keyholes are For Peeping or is There Life After Marriage? a frustrating experience to say to least.  

Wishman’s made some bad movies in her time, but this one just might take the proverbial cake.  

AKA:  Keyholes are for Peeping.  

DORIS DECEMBER NOTES:  

1) When Doris Wishman added newly shot sex scenes to older movies in the past, the results were wildly uneven.  Here, she tosses in a bunch of old sex scenes (I spotted bits from The Hot Month of August and Passion Fever, but I’m sure there were others) with newly shot footage.  She doesn’t even attempt to make them match.  When the building’s super peeps through keyholes, he’s in color and the people fucking in the room are in black and white.  (I’ve seen lots of movies where it turns from night to day within the same scene, but very few that go from color to black and white and back.)  Sometimes they’re solarized so you can’t make heads or tails of it.  (Let Me Die a Woman also contained a random solarized sex scene.)  

2) I liked Sammy Petrillo in Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla, but BOY, is he bad here.

3) Director Trademarks:  Random dance scene, shower scene (this time the score isn’t overly bombastic, just overly annoying), off-kilter narration, poor dubbing (when Petrillo is in drag), whiplash editing (the Hawaiian sequence is a fever dream of incompetence), shots of undergarments hitting the floor, and (what else?) feet.

4) Sigh.

5) You know that overused joke I make about Martin Scorsese calling a particular moment in a Doris Wishman movie “CINEMA”?  You won’t find that joke here.

6) To add insult to injury, the movie never answers the question in the title.  In fact, the film ends asking the audience, “So… is there life after marriage?”  You would at least think that after an hour and nine minutes of fast motion “comedy” scenes, incoherent editing, and lame “comic” sound effects, Wishman would’ve had the decency to answer that query.

DORIS DECEMBER: THE IMMORAL THREE (1975) ***

(Originally reviewed April 24th, 2019)

Jane (Cindy Boudreau) is strangled to death while sunbathing on a balcony.  At her funeral, Jane’s three long-lost daughters, Sandy (Sandra Kay), Nancy (Michelle Marie), and Ginny (also played by Boudreau) meet for the first time.  They also learn their mother (whom they never met) was a special agent who slept with and killed enemy agents.  That means her daughters were “occupational side effects”.  Jane’s will states the three girls need to team up and find her murderer before they can collect the three-million-dollar inheritance.  They are given a list of four suspects and set out to determine which one is the killer.  

Early on in Doris Wishman’s The Immoral Three, one of the characters mention in passing that Jane was known as “Agent 73”.  That means this is actually an under the radar sequel to Double Agent 73!  All I have to say is that Cindy Boudreau is no Chesty Morgan, but then again, who is?  While she may not have Chesty’s impossible bustline, unlike Chesty, Boudreau can recite intelligible dialogue, which helps.  I guess.  There’s no camera boob gimmick this time out though, which is a little disappointing.  

The good news is, this is a Doris Wishman movie through and through.  It may not be up to the dizzying heights of Wishman’s classics like Double Agent 73, Let Me Die a Woman, and Deadly Weapons, but The Immoral Three has enough moments of WTF (Wishman’s Type of Filmmaking) to make it worthwhile.  There’s the oddball plot.  Misogyny.  Murder.  Nudity.  Shots of people walking slowly towards the camera.  And of course, random shots of feet.  As a bonus, the flick features what has to be the most inexplicable use of a xylophone found on a soundtrack.

The Immoral Three is one of Wishman’s better put together films.  Sure, it kind of drags around the halfway mark, but her Kitchen Sink approach assures you’ll be riveted.  While most of this plays like some sort of sexed-up mash-up of Charlie’s Angels and Mission:  Impossible, some scenes feel like a prototype for a slasher movie with a black-gloved killer stabbing people.  We also get a not-bad double twist ending.

The main draw will be the shit-ton of nudity.  The lovely ladies in the cast get naked at the drop of a hat.  Whether getting changed, skinny-dipping, or having sex (willingly and otherwise), there’s never a shortage of skin on screen.  

The nuttiest scene comes when Kay simulates fellatio with a banana to arouse a potential suspect.  When she goes down on him, Wishman superimposes shots of Kay sucking the banana over his face, which scores maximum laughs.  While I can’t say The Immoral Three lives up to the promise of Double Agent 73, moments like these assure exploitation fans will have loads of fun with it.

AKA:  Hotter Than Hell.  

DORIS DECEMBER NOTES:

1) This print features both titles, The Immoral Three AND Hotter Than Hell.  

2) One can only imagine what the film would’ve been like had Chesty Morgan reprised her role as Agent 73.  Then again, it would’ve been a shame to see her killed off so early in the film.  (Or I guess she could’ve played a dual role as Boudreau does here, although it might’ve been weird seeing her playing her own daughter.)

3) The $3,000,000 inheritance the heroines are trying to get is the same amount the hero of Nude on the Moon received.  

4) I think the secret to The Immoral Three’s success is that it has a sense of fun about it, something that really wasn’t present in Doris Wishman’s films since her nudie movie days.  Oh, and the rampant nudity helps too.

5) Director Trademarks:  Odd dubbing, weird narration, awkward telephone conversations, women staring at their nude frame in the mirror, random dance sequence, and naturally, feet.

6) The banana scene is, as Martin Scorsese would say, “CINEMA!”

7) The theme from Double Agent 73 is heard again to cement the fact that this is indeed a sequel, albeit a loose one.

8) The death by candy dish scene is a direct homage to (or “blatantly stolen from”, however you want to phrase it) Bad Girls Go to Hell.

DORIS DECEMBER: LET ME DIE A WOMAN (1977) ****

(Originally posted July 17th, 2007)

In many ways, this is director Doris (Deadly Weapons) Wishman’s ultimate movie.  It’s a crazy, anything-goes pseudo-documentary about sex changes and transvestites.  It would make a perfect double feature with Glen or Glenda.  While it doesn’t match that film’s fever dream WTF? power, it comes pretty close.  It also delivers what Glen or Glenda promised and couldn’t show:  actual footage of a sex change operation performed in graphic detail.  

Wishman intercuts an interview with “Leslie” (“A year ago, I was a man!”) a real transgendered Puerto Rican with footage of a real doctor, Leo Wolman (who relies heavily on cue cards) who introduces us to several real transvestites and transsexuals.  He refers to their plight as a “monstrous biological joke”.  There are even sex scenes with said transsexuals and some simulated scenes with porn vets Harry Reems and Vanessa Del Rio.  The craziest part (if you don’t count the operation scenes) is Wolman’s story of a man who wanted to become a woman so much he cut off his own penis using a chisel and a hammer!  This incident is lovingly recreated in graphic detail for your viewing pleasure.  If that doesn’t make you squirm in your seat, I don’t know what will.  

This is one of the craziest movies ever made and only the strongest of stomachs need apply.  If you loved Glen or Glenda (or maybe even Faces of Death) then what are you waiting for?  Wishman started filming this as early as 1971 (as Adam or Eve) but later added the interview footage and released it in ’77.

AKA:  Man or Woman?

DORIS DECEMBER NOTES:  

1) Let Me Die a Woman and Glen or Glenda would make a fascinating double feature.  Both films tackle the subject of transition within the confines of an exploitation movie.  Both films offer a plea of tolerance and acceptance for their subjects.  However, since they are at their core, exploitation movies, the addition of sensationalism and smut (remember the bondage scenes in Glen or Glenda?) give them an extra layer of weirdness that makes them strangely even more appealing.  Although these scenes somewhat cheapen the message, it certainly makes them memorable, especially when you consider no one was really making movies that addressed the subject in a serious manner (unless you count The Christine Jorgensen Story).  

2) The scene of our main subject, Leslie getting dressed in front of the camera is supposed to be kind of like a slice of life sort of thing, but yeah, it kind of feel a little exploitative.  Despite that, she remains an engaging presence and helps to put a friendly and down to earth face to trans women for the audience.

3) Doris Wishman Trademarks:  Feet, random narration, showers featuring overly bombastic scores, and surgery scenes.

4) The scene where a guy uses a hammer and chisel to hack off his dick is one of the greatest scenes in exploitation history.  

5) Despite the air of overriding exploitation elements, this is probably the most progressive movie of the ‘70s in regard to gender identity.  Some of it hasn’t aged too well, but its heart is in the right place (most of the time) and it makes every attempt to show the various trans participants as real people with real problems and showcases their plight with sincerity.   

6) The Mondo movie aspects kind of run against the grain of the film’s positive messaging, but it helps to make it truly a one-of-a-kind experience. 

7) The sex change surgery sequence shows in graphic detail what Glen or Glenda could only hint at.  Like the chisel scene, it helps cement the film’s place in the annals of exploitation history.

8) The only scene in the movie that doesn’t really work is the long, solarized sex scene that occurs near the end, but then again, what would a Doris Wishman flick be without a gratuitous eleventh-hour sex scene?

DORIS DECEMBER: THE AMAZING TRANSPLANT (1970) * ½

(Originally posted August 17th, 2007)

Doris (Deadly Weapons) Wishman directed this nutty flick about a virginal schmo who gets his dead lothario friend’s penis transplanted onto his body.  He soon discovers he’s got game with the ladies, but the procedure has one unfortunate side effect:  it turns him into a crazy eyed rapist whenever he sees a pair of ladies’ gold earrings.  All of this sounds a hell of a lot better than it actually is, the main problem being that we don’t learn the facts about the so-called “amazing” transplant until the hackneyed “twist” ending.  Although the sex scenes will appeal to most fans of ‘70s “roughies”, much of the flick is so abysmally edited and acted that most viewers will probably give up on it before it reaches its “shocking” conclusion.  Rabid Wishman fans will undoubtedly have a field day with it as it features all her trademarks (badly synched dialogue, atrocious editing, and lots of close-ups of feet), but everyone else will want to steer clear.  Wishman later directed the ultimate elective surgery flick, Let Me Die a Woman seven years later.

AKA:  Sex and the Swinging Girl.

DORIS DECEMBER NOTES:

1) Even though this film is in color, Doris Wishman still uses her old standby of having a title sequence that features a bunch of black and white stills.  This time, the titles are red, which is a nice touch.

2) This movie begins with a naked woman playing a zither.  No matter how bad the rest of the movie gets (and it gets pretty bad), at least it has that going for it.

3) Director trademarks include:  Telephone conversations, shower scenes with overly bombastic music, obviously overdubbed dialogue, and (say it with me) FEET! 

4) Parts of this movie really feel like a color version of one of Wishman’s ‘60s roughies.  In that respect, it functions as a transition film between her second and third career acts.  I just wish the attack/sex scenes were worth a damn.

5) A killer being set off by the sight of golden earrings is a good idea for a movie.  A guy getting a penis transplant is a good idea for a movie.  Promising the audience a film about a guy getting a penis transplant and then giving them a film about a killer being set off by the sight of golden earrings is not a good idea.  

6) The opening strangulation scene is fairly decent.  However, the ensuing police investigation is a straight-up bore.

7) This is one of those movies where Doris just repeats the same motif again and again until she gets to seventy minutes and calls it a day.  The killer strikes.  The detective interviews one of his past victims.  They relate a flashback about the killer’s attack.  Repeat.  

8) I could’ve done without the scene where Doris zooms the camera in on an actress’s pimple-pocked butt while she vomits.

9) Man, sitting through an hour of quasi-giallo skin flick tedium just to get to a transplant that isn’t even shown is a total rip-off.  I think the only “Amazing” part about it is that is was done outpatient.