(Originally posted August 17th, 2007)
Doris (Deadly Weapons) Wishman directed this nutty flick about a virginal schmo who gets his dead lothario friend’s penis transplanted onto his body. He soon discovers he’s got game with the ladies, but the procedure has one unfortunate side effect: it turns him into a crazy eyed rapist whenever he sees a pair of ladies’ gold earrings. All of this sounds a hell of a lot better than it actually is, the main problem being that we don’t learn the facts about the so-called “amazing” transplant until the hackneyed “twist” ending. Although the sex scenes will appeal to most fans of ‘70s “roughies”, much of the flick is so abysmally edited and acted that most viewers will probably give up on it before it reaches its “shocking” conclusion. Rabid Wishman fans will undoubtedly have a field day with it as it features all her trademarks (badly synched dialogue, atrocious editing, and lots of close-ups of feet), but everyone else will want to steer clear. Wishman later directed the ultimate elective surgery flick, Let Me Die a Woman seven years later.
AKA: Sex and the Swinging Girl.
DORIS DECEMBER NOTES:
1) Even though this film is in color, Doris Wishman still uses her old standby of having a title sequence that features a bunch of black and white stills. This time, the titles are red, which is a nice touch.
2) This movie begins with a naked woman playing a zither. No matter how bad the rest of the movie gets (and it gets pretty bad), at least it has that going for it.
3) Director trademarks include: Telephone conversations, shower scenes with overly bombastic music, obviously overdubbed dialogue, and (say it with me) FEET!
4) Parts of this movie really feel like a color version of one of Wishman’s ‘60s roughies. In that respect, it functions as a transition film between her second and third career acts. I just wish the attack/sex scenes were worth a damn.
5) A killer being set off by the sight of golden earrings is a good idea for a movie. A guy getting a penis transplant is a good idea for a movie. Promising the audience a film about a guy getting a penis transplant and then giving them a film about a killer being set off by the sight of golden earrings is not a good idea.
6) The opening strangulation scene is fairly decent. However, the ensuing police investigation is a straight-up bore.
7) This is one of those movies where Doris just repeats the same motif again and again until she gets to seventy minutes and calls it a day. The killer strikes. The detective interviews one of his past victims. They relate a flashback about the killer’s attack. Repeat.
8) I could’ve done without the scene where Doris zooms the camera in on an actress’s pimple-pocked butt while she vomits.
9) Man, sitting through an hour of quasi-giallo skin flick tedium just to get to a transplant that isn’t even shown is a total rip-off. I think the only “Amazing” part about it is that is was done outpatient.
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