REVENGE (2018) ***

Richard (Kevin Janssens) takes his mistress Jen (Matilda Lutz) to his remote desert home for a weekend fling.  Trouble brews when his hunting buddies Stan (Vincent Colombe) and Dim (Guillaume Bouchede) show up unexpectedly.  After Stan has his way with her, neither Richard nor Dim seem to want to do anything about it.  When Jen threatens to go to the cops, they push her off a cliff.  She somehow miraculously survives and sets out to get some payback. 

Revenge is a better than average rape and revenge movie.  It’s stylish, if a bit overlong.  It's involving, even though it’s predictable.  Though flawed, it’s certainly more empowering than most of these things. 

In fact, it turns into a female First Blood in the second act once Jen goes into a cave, nurses her wounds, and finds the strength to fight on.  She even emerges from the cave as a Lady Rambo, complete with a big ass hunting knife.  I will say her sudden transformation from laid back party girl to hardened hunter is a bit hard to swallow, but that doesn’t take away from the gut-punch effectiveness of it all. 

Revenge contains some really over the top, crowd pleasing moments.  Sometimes, it tends to get a bit self-indulgent.  The unending dream-within-a-dream scene is particularly drawn out, but at least it does have a terrific exploding head gag.  Too bad some of the special effects elsewhere in the movie look phony (like the bloody foot scene).

The film moves at a deliberate pace.  If the filmmakers took the time to punch it up a bit in the editing room, it could’ve been a real classic.  The finale especially goes on way too long.  (How many times can you run around in circles down the same hallway without seeing your prey?)  Still, it’s hard to complain when so many gallons of blood wind up being spilled in the climax.  This movie throws more red stuff around in the last ten minutes than most pictures do their entire running time.  Because of that, it’s worth a look. 

KING COHEN (2018) ****

Larry Cohen is one of my favorite directors, mostly because he makes movies no other director can make besides Larry Cohen.  Most of the time, their reach exceeds their grasp, usually due to their low budgets.  When Larry is firing on all cylinders (such as the case in my favorite Cohen film, The Stuff), it’s truly a sight to behold.

This absorbing, informative, and just plain fun documentary by Steve Mitchell starts right at the beginning of Cohen’s trajectory.  We follow him through his early days writing scripts for television, and then features, before he becomes dissatisfied with the way Hollywood ruined his work.  He turns to directing as a way to protect his scripts and develops a unique style almost immediately.  Before long, he’s cranking out classic after classic.  From Blaxploitation to horror, it doesn’t matter what the genre is.  You’re always guaranteed to see something idiosyncratic in the work to let you know it’s a Larry Cohen movie. 

The most fun part is hearing about his guerilla filmmaking tactics.  He was a master of stealing shots in crowded New York streets with big stars, live special effects, and zero permits.  It’s kind of amazing that he was able to get away with some of the stuff he did, especially the Andy Kaufman scene in God Told Me To. 

Everyone that is interviewed seemed to genuinely enjoy working with Cohen.  I loved seeing his constant leading man Michael Moriarty gush over their work together.  Fred Williamson is also around to contradict some of the legends Cohen has made for himself.  

It was also nice to see the way Cohen championed the used of elderly Hollywood legends.  There’s a particularly touching moment involving the death of Bernard Herrmann, who scored It’s Alive.  Sometimes, that backfired on Cohen.  When he hired Bette Davis for Wicked Stepmother, she walked off the set and never came back.  Ever the soldier, Larry forged ahead and did his best with the footage he had.  

The film also goes into how Cohen was fired from I, the Jury, a movie he envisioned as a franchise.  Man, what could’ve been!  Eventually, he grows tired of the director’s chair and becomes content to write material for other filmmakers.

Cohen is engaging and colorful in his interviews.  You can tell just by the way he talks, he’s a natural born storyteller.  Sadly, we lost Larry earlier this year.  There will never be another one like him.

Long live the King.

AKA:  King Cohen:  The Wild World of Filmmaker Larry Cohen.

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: ONE CUT OF THE DEAD (2017) *** ½

A fanatical filmmaker is making a zombie movie in a condemned warehouse.  He is unhappy with his lead actress’ performance and walks off the set.  When he returns, he motivates her by unleashing real zombies into the mix, all the while keeping the cameras rolling. 

All this is done in seemingly one take, but if you’re sharp enough you can spot some of the seams.  Even then, you have to admit it’s all extremely well done.  The gore is decent too, although the best parts are when the director pops up in the midst of the terror screaming “Action!” as the zombies chase his leading lady. 

Just when you think it’s over, the film takes an odd turn and unleashes a completely new narrative on you.  I don’t want to spoil things, so all I’ll say is that you know something’s up when your opening credits sequence takes place forty minutes into the movie.  It’s here where One Cut of the Dead become more of a meta comedy than a horror flick.

Oh heck, I have to spoil it for you in order to explain what makes the turn work so well, so back off now if you haven’t already seen it.  The first act is a pure zombie movie.  The second act is the director rehearsing said zombie movie.  The catch is, it needs to be done on live TV all in one take.  The kicker comes in the third act where everything turns to shit on set, but the fearless crew presses on in the face of adversity.

So, basically what we have here is not just a horror film, but a love letter to horror filmmaking as well.  It’s especially fun when it’s subverting your expectations.  I can see how some viewers expecting a more traditional zombie movie experience maybe be a tad disappointed.  However, I can honestly say you’ve never seen a zombie flick like this one before; a veritable rarity these days. 

LITTLE BI PEEP (2013) ** ½

Emma (Anna Shields, who also wrote the screenplay and co-directed) works a dead-end job at an adult video store.  Her job description says she must wear a sexy Halloween costume (including a sexy Little Bo Peep get-up) to work, but when she’s there, she mostly just smokes and glowers at the creepy customers.  Emma lives alone with her dog (who often shits on the floor, much to her indifference), and when she goes out, she usually hooks up with girls (and guys) whom she immediately ditches.  When she meets Mason (Sara Jecko), a guy who’s hiding an obvious secret, it threatens her miserable existence with a glimmer of happiness.

The title makes it sound like it’s going to be a nursey rhyme-themed softcore sex spoof, but Little Bi Peep is actually an earnest (if uneven) low budget indie LGBTQ comedy/drama.  It’s mostly a slice-of-life tale of a woman who’s still figuring things out.  Even though she’s got some serious issues in her past she’s still reconciling with that’s preventing her from achieving true happiness, she remains a likeable wiseass about it most of the time, which makes the audience root for her.

The adult store scenes are the best, mostly because they play like a gender-swapped version of Clerks.  Unfortunately, the laughs are few and far between, but Shields’ performance keeps you watching throughout the lulls.  I also have to give her credit for the clever ending that manages to defy the standard romantic comedy trappings and for dealing with broken characters in a realistic fashion.  While it’s far from perfect, it’s a nice enough effort all the same.  

JOE BULLET (1973) ** ½

Joe Bullet is a ‘70s South African action movie made during the time of the American Blaxploitation craze.  Soon after its release, it was suppressed by the vile apartheid government and remained unseen for decades.  Thankfully, for fans of ‘70s black action films it has resurfaced.  I can’t say it’s a classic or anything, but I’m certainly glad it exists and can be seen by viewers all around the world.

A shadowy underworld figure is intimidating the Eagles soccer team in hopes of getting them to bow out of a big championship match.  After one of their coaches are murdered, the manager turns to a badass named Joe Bullet (Ken Gampu) to protect his players.  Not only does Joe kick the bad guys’ asses, he kicks the soccer ball around as he also helps coach the team!  Did you ever see Shaft do that?  I don’t think so!

Joe Bullet gives you just about everything you could possibly want from a Blaxploitation movie.  There’s a kickass theme song, Kung Fu, some fine action beats, and a few cheesy/cool moments (like when the villain turns a poisonous snake loose on Joe).  What makes Joe a bit different than a Shaft or a Superfly is he’s also a master of disguise!  Oh, and even though his name is “Joe Bullet”, he seems just as handy with a knife.  In fact, he kills so many people with a knife that it makes me wonder why they didn’t call him Joe Blade. 

Like Shaft, the film starts out great, but the pacing drags in the second half.  The film is also riddled with jump cuts.  I’m not sure if that was due to the government cutting stuff out or if it was just the filmmakers’ own mistakes or what.  I do know it gets distracting sometimes.  The action is a bit uneven as the movie enters the third act, and the Climbing Villain finale ends abruptly.  Still, it hangs together well enough thanks to a good central performance by Gampu.  

I can’t say for sure if Joe Bullet is the definitive South African Blaxploitation movie, but it’s certainly the best one I’ve seen. 

TEEN TITANS GO! VS. TEEN TITANS (2019) *** ½

I don’t usually go in for these straight-to-DVD DC animated movies, but as a fan of Teen Titans Go!, this was hard to resist.  After all, this (spoiler) team-up between the two beloved versions of the Titans was already teased in the post-credits scene of Teen Titans Go! to the Movies.  Since that was one of my favorite movies of last year, there was very little doubt I’d be checking this one out. 

It feels more like an extended episode of Teen Titans Go! than the old show, which is sure to alienate some viewers.  As a fan of Go! I thought it was fun, if at times slight.  It’s not up to the same standards as Go! to the Movies, but it’s about on par with a better-than-average episode of the series.  That is to say there are a lot of laughs to be had.

The plot is similar in some ways to Spider-Man:  Into the Spider-Verse.  The Titans’ arch-enemy Trigon tries to take over the Infinite Earths by pitting the two versions of the Teen Titans against each other.  Naturally, the heroes can’t stand one another, but they eventually put their differences aside to work together to stop Trigon. 

If you love Teen Titans Go! you’re sure to have fun with this.  They still sing, make poop jokes, and make fun of the DC Universe.  This results in some big laughs.  There are also plenty of callbacks to the show that fans like me are sure to appreciate, including one especially great nod to one of my favorite episodes, The Night Begins to Shine.  However, it probably won’t win over fans of the original Teen Titans as they are strictly supporting characters.  Still, they get enough moments here and there (particularly Raven) that should please fans jonesing for some old school Teen Titans action. 

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: SATANS LUST (1971) ***

George “Buck” Flower presides over a Satanist ritual in which a woman is tied down spread eagle while another babe bangs her with a strap-on.  She’s then forced to suck another Satanist until he jizzes on her chest while a clap of thunder is heard in the background.  The woman is then sacrificed by being set on fire.  Then the plot begins.  

Her friends (Judy Angel and Jim Mathers) think her death is suspicious so they decide to investigate, but not after they fuck.  They eventually find out that Flower is using his movie production studio as a front to lure girls into becoming sacrifices for Satan.  Judy then goes undercover (in both senses of the word) to get close to Buck, but will Jim be able to save her in time?

For only being 66 minutes long, Satans Lust (there’s no apostrophe on the title card) crams in lots of scenes of hardcore action in a short amount of time.  Not only are the Satanic S & M scenes hot, the vanilla ones manage to be pretty decent too.  The whole movie looks scuzzy and grimy, but the sex scenes manages to still titillate despite (or perhaps because of) the dingy atmosphere.  Even though the picture looks cheap and decrepit, the director (who’s uncredited, but was probably Flower) gives us one cool camera shot that looks all the way up Angel’s dress that shows a little more flair than your typical early ‘70s hardcore film.

The scenes that combine sex and horror work the best.  There’s a wild scene where a lady Satanist uses a candle as a marital aid and winds up turning into a skeleton while in the throes of passion.  The subliminal shots of the pig-faced Lucifer leering during the action are effective too.  

If you’re watching it for laughs, there’s plenty of those to be had.  The overdramatic headshaking, hair-flipping climaxes during the tender love scene between Angel and Mathers while majestic music plays in the background is downright hilarious.  Equally funny is the use of Muzak during the sex scenes.  There’s not one, but THREE Muzak versions of Beatles’ songs played.  (“I Wanna Hold Your Hand”, “Good Day Sunshine”, and “Yellow Submarine”).  My favorite bit was the blowjob scene set to “I Will Follow Him”.  You know how that old song goes:  “I love him, I love him, and where he goes I’ll follow, I’ll follow”?  I had fun making up my own lyrics:  “I blow him, I blow him, and when he cums I’ll swallow, I’ll swallow”.  The filmmakers even steal whole chunks of score from Ennio Morricone’s score for The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly for good measure.

AKA:  Night of the Warlock.