SON OF VHS DELIRIUM (2019) *** ½

Son of VHS Delirium is the third part in the Drive-In Delirium spin-off series that focuses solely on VHS trailers.  The very first image you see is a woman’s soapy butt, which is a sure sign of the quality to come.  That butt is part of a promo for an Australian company called Video Classics, which I’m not familiar with, but who are responsible for all the trailers and promos in the collection.  With a butt like that, the company deserves to be on the Forbes 500. 

This was on the same disc as Drive-In Delirium:  With a Vengeance as a bonus feature.  I may have been a little disappointed by the lack of horror titles on that installment, but this one more than makes up for it.  Here’s the complete rundown on the trailers included:  Beyond Evil, Superstition, Maniac, Evil Dead, Sweet Sixteen, Mutant, Vampyres (“WARNING:  This Film Contains Scenes That May Shock or Offend”), Torso, Amityville 3-D, The Dead Zone, Tattoo, and To Kill a Clown.  From there, things become sort of a hodgepodge with trailers for Fort Apache, The Bronx, The Bounty, Caged Heat, The Retrievers, Raw Force, Conan the Destroyer, Loving Couples, Splitz, Hollywood High, Gas Pump Girls, Hot T-Shirts, Gosh!, The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood, Charlotte’s Web (which feels really out of place, especially following a Happy Hooker movie, but oh well), Follow the Sun, Master of the Game, Flying High, The Keeper, and The Intruder Within.

It’s in the last half-hour the collection really gets into gear.  After a Video Classics promo (that includes clips from Flash Gordon and King Kong, among others) we get an awesome commercial for Movies at Midnight, which looks like an ad for a Playboy Channel type of deal.  Then there are tons of fun trailers for ‘70s skin flicks like Secrets of a Super Stud, Sweet Savage, The Yum Yum Girls, Girls at the Gynecologist (which has a great gimmick where the girls’ name and age flashes on screen), Mustang:  The House That Joe Built, Incoming Freshmen, French Nympho, Spermula, Flesh Gordon, Diary of a Space Virgin (AKA:  The Girl from Starship Venus), Fairy Tales, Fantasm (“Filmed in Hollywood by Australians!”), Fantasm Comes Again, and Love You (which is oddly enough, narrated by a W.C. Fields imitator).  

This is certainly the best of the VHS Delirium collections.  In fact, this is the first time in the Drive-In Delirium line where the bonus feature outshone the main attraction.  I for one can’t wait to see what they have up their sleeve next time around. 

DRIVE-IN DELIRIUM: WITH A VENGEANCE (2019) ***

Drive-In Delirium:  With a Vengeance is the fifth in the series of trailer compilations from Umbrella Entertainment.  The focus this time is on the action genre, although there are more than a few horror, sci-fi, and exploitation trailers sprinkled about.  While it still packs plenty of bang for your buck, I have to say it is my least favorite in the series so far.

Things kick off with a run of ‘70s Blaxploitation trailers (Shaft, Super Fly, Hammer) before branching off into trailers for the Dirty Harry and French Connection series.  Icons like Steve McQueen (Bullitt. Le Mans, The Getaway), Michael Caine (Get Carter, The Eagle Has Landed, The Italian Job), and Sylvester Stallone (Cobra and Lock Up) are well-represented.  I also enjoyed the trailers that were narrated by their directors (Sam Fuller’s Underworld, U.S.A. and Burt Reynolds’ Gator), a trend that should make a comeback.

After a short intermission that includes commercials for Kool-Aid (starring The Monkees) and KISS dolls, the second half begins with trailers for ‘60s adventures (Sword of Sherwood Forest, The Colossus of Rhodes, The Pirates of Blood River).  From there we get a taste of pulpy actioners (The Vengeance of She, The Million Eyes of Su-Muru, The Castle of Fu Manchu), Ninja flicks (Kill and Kill Again, Enter the Ninja, and Revenge of the Ninja), and a lot of Spaghetti westerns (including The Dollars Trilogy, a couple of Django movies, and Navajo Joe).  Finally, the collection concludes with a long run of Sci-Fi movies from the ‘70s (The Omega Man, The People That Time Forgot, Time After Time) and ‘80s (Star Trek 2:  The Wrath of Khan, Dune, The Last Starfighter).

Just because I can’t quite rank this collection as high as some of the other installments in the Drive-In Delirium series, don’t think that there aren’t some great trailers here because there are some truly memorable ones.  It’s just that the valleys are more prevalent than the peaks.  I mean at nearly six-and-a-half hours, it’s a given the overall quality would be uneven.  Sure, many of the films featured probably aren’t considered your typical drive-in fare (Serpico, The Long Good Friday, Best Seller), but there are still enough sleazy thrills (Savage Streets, Naked Vengeance, Tenement) here to justify the title.

HURRICANE RAMIREZ AND THE BLACK NUN (1973) *

Remember the Black Nun, Hurricane Ramirez’s nemesis from The Son of Hurricane Ramirez?  You know, the one with the cool I Was a Teenage Frankenstein face and nun habit?  Well, despite the fact that this is called Hurricane Ramirez and the Black Nun, he ain’t in this one.  The nun in this one is a black nun.  Talk about a bait and switch. 

Come to think of it, the movie should really be called The Black Nun and Hurricane Ramirez because Hurricane doesn’t appear until an hour into the flick.  Until then, you are stuck with a lot of unfunny comedy shenanigans involving the nun trying to do good deeds.  The fact that I watched an un-subtitled version didn’t help matters.

Mostly, it’s about the nun getting into one predicament after another.  She gets a mute boy to help her reclaim some golden religious artifacts for the church without realizing a gang of shady characters are using the knickknacks to smuggle drugs.  Eventually, she gets in a heap of trouble with the gangsters who run the operation, and it’s up to Hurricane Ramirez to get her out of a tight jam.

This is probably the worst Lucha Libre movie I’ve ever seen, mostly because the non-wrestling scenes are often painful to sit through.  I mean, that first hour was so slow moving that I put it on 1.5 about halfway through and it still felt like it was moving like molasses going uphill.  Once Hurricane enters the picture, things improve, but only slightly.  There’s an OK Royal Rumble scene, but by the time Hurricane is squaring off in the ring while the nun is being kidnapped, I was fighting to stay awake.

I’m not sure if the original Black Nun character could’ve saved this mess, but he certainly couldn’t have hurt.  Heck, the Flying Nun would’ve been welcome.  I hate to say this, but after joyfully watching Lucha Libre movies over and over again for the past few months, this one might be the one that makes me swear off the genre for a while. 

BLOOD AND FLESH: THE REEL LIFE AND GHASTLY DEATH OF AL ADAMSON (2019) *** ½

What better way to wash down thirty-two Al Adamson movies than with David Gregory’s documentary on the man, the myth, the legend that is Al Adamson?  Fans of the schlock director will already be familiar with some of the wild yarns that are spun about him, but it’s great to see so many of his cast and crew together in one place and dragging out the well-worn chestnuts yet again.  Find out how he broke into the business, made and remade (and remade) a flimsy crime thriller so it could eventually be resold as a horror movie, worked with up-and-coming cinematographers, worked with down-and-out actors, and even convinced Colonel Sanders to star in one of his movies. 

Guys like Sam Sherman are a wealth of knowledge not only about movies, but the business itself.  He had more than just a business partnership with Al, they were the best of friends.  His stories and memories are among the best in the whole movie.  We also get some great and insightful footage of Al himself from his last known interview.  He knew he wasn’t Hitchcock or anything, but he was damned proud of his work, especially given the time and budget constraints he was shooting under. 

In the last half-hour, the film goes from being a celebration of the man to a sort of true crime show as the details of his final days are chronicled.  Many state the fine points of his gruesome murder could make for its own horror movie, but I think that’s a little crass.  What happed to him was just plain terrible and sad.  Luckily for Al and his family, justice was served.

Throughout the documentary, it’s nice to see guys like Chris Poggiali and David Konow, who have encyclopedic knowledge of all things Adamson, being interviewed.  Speaking of encyclopedias, I can’t tell you how good it was to see The Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film’s Michael J. Weldon being interviewed about Adamson.  Weldon is the number one reason why I do what I do.  I was lucky enough to be invited to lunch with him back in ’02 when I visited his store in Chincoteague, Virginia, and I have never forgotten his kindness and support.  I couldn’t think of a better note to end my two-month journey into the world of Al Adamson on than seeing him speaking about Adamson in such a scholarly manner. 

LOST (1983) * ½

 

After a lengthy career spanning three decades and over thirty movies, Al Adamson’s final film proved to be 1983’s Lost.  Like the one that came before it, Carnival Magic, it’s made for children, but it’s sorely lacking the weirdness that made that picture memorable.  It’s much closer to an After School Special than anything you’d normally associate with the guy who gave us Dracula vs. Frankenstein and Satan’s Sadists.

Ostensibly a comeback vehicle for ‘50s dream girl Sandra Dee, Lost tells the story of a little girl named Buddy (this is the second Adamson film in a row in which the lead girl is called “Buddy”), played by Sheila Newhouse, who is unhappy to be stuck in the middle of Utah with her mom (Dee) and new stepfather (Don Stewart, also the star of Carnival Magic).  Unable to find common ground with her and her stepfather, Buddy becomes increasingly rebellious.  When her pet donkey has to be put down, the distraught Buddy takes off into the wilderness with her pet dog, Skipper, and it doesn’t take long before they become… well… read the title. 

Lost isn’t the worst picture in the Adamson filmography.  It’s just his least essential.  (You could possibly make a case for dullest, but I think that goes to Five Bloody Graves.) The usual oddball touches that his fans love are nowhere to be found here as the whole thing looks like a '70s Made for TV Movie.  Technically, it’s much shoddier than Carnival Magic.  The cutting between day and night and sun and rain is often laughable.  Still, at least there’s only one plotline to follow and no annoying subplots to bog things down. 

As someone who has sat through all his films, it is fun seeing Adamson ripping off the latest trend.  In this case, it’s the resurgence of dog-related kids’ movies like Benji.  Lost also gets some mileage out of the supporting cast filled with familiar faces from television and westerns.  Gunsmoke’s Ken Curtis gets a fine monologue about the spirituality of farming that probably ranks as the single best acted scene in Adamson’s entire career.  Jack Elam on the other hand, will grate on your nerves as the old timer mountain man who helps Buddy on her quest.

Overall, Lost just ain’t my cup of tea.  It’s just hard to work up much enthusiasm over what is essentially a Benji rip-off, especially after sitting through two months chockfull of wild women, bloody brains, naughty nurses, and sexy stewardesses.  I wish Adamson’s career had ended on a higher note, but at least it’s not as out-and-out terrible as something like Five Bloody Graves or Blood of Ghastly Horror.

CARNIVAL MAGIC (1983) **

I reviewed Carnival Magic a while ago, but in the ensuing years, it has kind of become a staple in my household thanks to repeated viewings on Mystery Science Theater 3000.  It’s one of the best episodes of the show’s revival, and the film’s offbeat nature is a perfect fit for Jonah and the ‘bots’ riffing style.  Watching it for the first time in a long while un-riffed as part of the Al Adamson boxset, I still am of the same opinion I had when I first saw it. 

I don’t have any new revelations to share with you.  Seeing the film within its chronological context of Adamson’s body of work, I find it interesting that his final two movies (his next being Lost) are children’s fare.  I don’t see this so much as Adamson branching out and trying something new, rather just hitting on a craze he had previously untapped early in his career. 

Speaking of untapped, it’s nice to see Adamson’s wife, Regina Carrol in a decently sized role as Markov the Magnificent’s assistant.  She gives a naturalistic performance that is easily one of the best things about the movie.  It’s a definite improvement on her grating performance in Blazing Stewardesses, that’s for sure.  

It’s always fun seeing what kind of trend Adamson would try to rip off.  Here, there’s a completely gratuitous scene where the talking chimp Alex steals a car and leads a bunch of dumb cops on a high-speed pursuit.  The country obviously still had Smokey and the Bandit on the brain, and leave it to Adamson to give moviegoers a twist on what was all the rage at the time.  I mean, we saw several car chases in Smokey’s wake, but have we seen one with a talking chimp?  I think not.

Unfortunately, the movie is too uneven to really work as either a children’s film or a WTF masterpiece.  The carny drama is rather flat, which makes the oddball elements sit uncomfortably with the rest of the picture.  The subplot with the evil doctor bent on dissecting the talking chimp feels really out of place in such a saccharine kiddie matinee show.  Also, the magic show scenes (many of which play out in real time) and long carnival montages bog things down considerably.  Despite these flaws, this is by far one of the most coherent works by Adamson, who was working with his highest budget to date.

Here’s my original review from a while back:

 

ARCHIVE REVIEW:  CARNIVAL MAGIC  (1983)  ** (ORIGINALLY POSTED:  MARCH 26^TH, 2011)

Markov the Magnificent is a carnival magician who has a talking chimpanzee named Alex.  He doesn’t like exploiting Alex but when the carnival is on the verge of closing, Markov agrees to put Alex in the show.  When Markov and Alex’s act becomes a big hit, it draws the attention of a scientist who wants to study the talking chimp.  Markov says no way Jose, but a disgruntled lion tamer decides to help the sketchy scientist kidnap poor Alex.  Markov then gets the help of his fellow carnies to rescue his simian buddy.

Carnival Magic is a bizarre kiddie movie directed by exploitation maverick Al (Dracula vs. Frankenstein) Adamson.  It’s heavily padded with lame magic acts and scenes of people on carnival rides and features some truly awful music.  It’s not very good and doesn’t quite work as camp but the flick is just so offbeat (and surprisingly earnest) to completely write it off.  And ironically, this is one of Adamson’s more coherent movies.

A lot of credit has to go to Alex the talking chimp.  It would’ve been easy to just dub in an obviously fake sounding voice like on Lancelot Link, but the throaty growl Alex speaks with sounds almost plausible.  Actually, when he talks he kinda sounds like E.T.  I have to think Spielberg saw this movie before he made E.T. because not only does the chimp sound like E.T., he also dies and miraculously comes back to life in the end.

I can’t say I really enjoyed Carnival Magic, but I’m glad I saw it.  Fans of Adamson’s work (or weird movies in general) will definitely want to check it out.  It beats going to a real carnival, that’s for sure.

BRIDE OF VHS DELIRIUM (2019) ***

 

The second installment in the Drive-In Delirium sister series, VHS Delirium offers ninety more minutes of (mostly ‘80s) home video previews.  They are presented here in loving standard definition.  Unlike the Drive-In Delirium series, no attempt has been made to clean these bad boys up.  They look like they were ripped directly from a shoddy VCR, the way God intended. 

There are many more full-length trailers this time out, which is a plus.  They include:  The Beyond, Cannibal Apocalypse, Creepers, The Dark, Epitaph, The Evictors, The House on Sorority Row, I Spit on Your Grave, LA Crackdown, Madman, The Mutilator, Night of the Zombies, Rape Squad, Savage Man… Savage Beast (complete with a warning:  “This Film  Contains Scenes That May Offend”), The Slayer, Splatter University, Squirm, Trapped, Dario Argento’s World of Horror, Bloody New Year, Blood Theatre, Silent Night Deadly Night (“The Movie They Tried to Ban!”), Silent Night Deadly Night 2, The Initiation, Spookies, The Return of Count Yorga, Tenebrae, Demons 2, Reborn, Sole Survivor, Android, The Lost Empire, Prisoners of the Lost Universe, Battle for the Lost Planet, Brother from Another Planet, Hamburger:  The Motion Picture, Pinball Summer, Stitches, Hot Dog… The Movie, Waitress!, Stuck on You!, The First Turn-On, Feelin’ Up, The Princess and The Call Girl, Blackout, The Guardian, Family and Honor (AKA:  Don’t Mess with My Sister!), The Professor, Golden Needles, Diva, Ms. .45 (under the title Rape Squad), Pray for Death, Rage of Honor, The Retaliator, Feel the Heat, Survival Game, Commando Squad, Double Revenge, Rage to Kill, and Snake Eater.  The compilation then wraps up with a promo for an Australian video company called Palace Films that includes clips from The Gate and The Wraith, among many others.

I’ve seen many of these trailers before (some were even in other Drive-In Delirium collections), but the grainy picture quality and full frame presentation definitely adds to the overall effect of recreating the glory days of VHS.  However, there plenty of movies here I haven’t heard of and probably would track down just on the basis of the trailers alone.  Because of that, Bride of VHS Delirium is yet another worthy addition to my ever-growing movie trailer compilation collection.