M3GAN 2.0 (2025) ***

M3GAN was a certified instant classic.  The question is, what do you do for an encore?  Writer/director Gerard Johnstone’s motto seems to be bigger is better.  While the final result might not be “better”, it’s amusing to see the lengths he will go to just to entertain an audience, even if he isn’t always successful. 

Two years have passed since the killer robot M3GAN tried to kill her creator Gemma (Allison Williams) and her niece Cady (Violet McGraw).  When Amelia (Ivanna Sakhno), an AI powered government assassin goes rogue, she sets her sights on crippling the country’s infrastructure.  It’s then up to Gemma to reboot M3GAN to fight Amelia.  The question is, can she be trusted?

The original was a fun horror flick, and this sequel is like a complete 180 as it’s more of a Sci-Fi action comedy.  The early nod to Steven Seagal is the tip-off that there’s going to be more wrist-snapping and shootouts than stabbing and decapitations.  The film is also set in the T2 mold where the robot villain from the first movie makes a pact to not kill anyone and protect the heroes.  I mean, it’s like I always say:  If you’ve got to steal from somebody, steal from the best.  (I also liked the visual nod to Metropolis.)

The big drawback this time out isn’t necessarily the shift in tone, but rather the sheer length.  It clocks in at two hours, which is about a half-hour longer than it really needed to be.  It’s got a lot of nifty ideas, but Johnston could’ve easily streamlined this thing down a bit.  The long winded exposition scenes could’ve been edited out completely and the first act in particular drags. 

Then again, when the film hits its stride, it’s entertaining as hell.  It’s messy and uneven, but it also contains some big laughs.  It’s brimming with invention and most importantly, fun.  M3GAN sings.  She dances.  She kicks ass.  She may not kill in this one, but she does fly, so there is that.  And when M3GAN flies, so does the human spirit. 

ARREBATO (1979) **

A junkie horror film director named Jose (Eusebio Poncela) meets his girlfriend’s eccentric cousin Pedro (Will More) who obsessively films everything.  He also sends Jose bizarre audio tapes, which makes it sound like he’s slowly going crazy.  He then begins to think back to the first time he met Pedro and became fascinated by his experimental and offbeat films.  When Pedro mysteriously disappears, Jose watches his last film hoping to get a clue to what happened. 

Pedro’s ultimate goal is to send the viewer into “rapture” by showing them seemingly unconnected images that have been sped up and slowed down.  Well, while you watch Arrebato (which is Spanish for “Rapture”), you will probably feel anything but rapturous.  Even though there is a kernel of an interesting story here, it never really pops.  Long portions of the flick play like a hangout movie as the director and his girlfriend laze about getting stoned and listening to Pedro’s tapes.  While the ending is OK, it’s a long time coming and the nearly two hour running time doesn’t help matters either. 

Although I watched this on Shudder, it isn’t really a horror movie as it is more about obsession.  Jose’s black and white film-within-a-film that is seen early on is extremely atmospheric as it looks like a silent movie directed by Rob Zombie.  It’s a shame that kind of vibe didn’t carry over into the rest of the movie.  Some of Pedro’s offbeat films (which take up more screen time than necessary) are sort of interesting, but they become monotonous after a while. 

The film slides back and forth between timelines, characters, and “reel” and “real” life quite often.  The goal was to create the hallucinatory sensations Pedro felt while he was in the depths of his madness.  It’s only intermittently successful.  While it might’ve worked as a short, director Ivan Zulueta just can’t sustain the spell for the entire running time. 

The weirdo Pedro gets the best line of the movie when he says, “My whole life was like one big wank without coming!”

AKA:  Rapture.

SINNERS (2025) **

Michael B. Jordan and Michael B. Jordan star as twin bootleggers who return to their hometown in the ‘30s to open a juke joint.  Opening night is marred however when a trio of vampires show up looking to put the bite on the revelers. 

Directed by Ryan (Creed) Coogler, Sinners is a period horror movie where the horror almost feels like an afterthought.  (It turns on its heels from crime drama to vampire flick just like From Dusk Till Dawn.)  Since the horror elements don’t really come into play until the film is halfway over, much of the focus is on the pair of brothers trying to give something back to their community.  That’s admirable, but it is liable to disappoint anyone expecting a balls-out horror flick. 

The idea of Jordan playing twins is intriguing, but there little here other than their wardrobe to differentiate their characters.  (One wears a red hat and the other wears a blue.)  Also, some of the greenscreen stuff where the brothers appear alongside each other looks a little wonky in more than a few scenes. 

Speaking of wonky, there’s a really baffling scene about halfway through that pretty much stops the movie on a dime.  As the patrons of the juke joint are dancing to blues music, the camera swirls around the dancefloor when out of nowhere, we see anachronistic DJs spinning records, 21st century fly girls twerking, and African tribal dancers running around the place.  This scene is painfully on the nose as Coogler is hammering home the fact that rap music comes from the blues.  It’s a real head scratcher to be sure.  I mean it’s almost like some live-action Schoolhouse Rock shit.  Or maybe a bad Disneyland ride.  (Or worse, EPCOT.)  It’s a particularly weird choice, especially in what is meant to be a horror movie.  Conversely, there is no such visual extravagance when it comes time for the vampires’ Irish folk dance sequence.  (Yes, you read that right.)

As a horror show, it’s lukewarm at best.  Too much of the movie is spent on the old “vampires have to be invited in” trope and not enough on the bloodsucking.  The idea that the (lily white) head vampire wants the (black) blues’ player’s songs makes this an obvious statement about cultural appropriation, but it would’ve been better served had Coogler not went overboard and made the subtext text. 

I’m certainly glad Coogler tried to do something different this time out and got to stretch his muscles outside of franchise movies.  Sometimes big swings like this don’t exactly pay off.  Then again, it was a big hit (though I’m kind of perplexed why), so what do I know? 

Delroy Lindo gives the best performance as a down on his luck harmonica player who gets the best line of the movie when he says, “White folks like the blues just fine, they just don’t like the people that make it!”

DEN OF THIEVES: PANTERA (2025) **

Gerard Butler returns as “Big Nick”, who is still on the trail of thief Donnie (O’Shea Jackson Jr.).  He follows him all the way to Europe where he and a new crew are planning to rob the World Diamond Authority.  The surprise is he doesn’t want to bust Donnie.  Big Nick wants to join his team and get a piece of the action. 

This sequel swaps out money for diamonds and L.A. for Europe.  Whereas the inspiration for the original was Heat, this one seems to be a riff on another Robert De Niro actioner, Ronin.  (Jackson’s team even uses the word “Ronin” as a call sign during a heist early on in the movie.)  There’s also a little bit of an inverse X-Men 2 thing going on where the hero teams up with the villain. 

Director Christian Gudegast (who also helmed the original) delivers a slick looking picture, but there’s just not a whole lot going on under its glossy veneer.  What’s worse is that it moves slowly and sluggishly.  I enjoyed the first movie, even though I felt it was unnecessarily long.  This one is even longer, clocking in at a whopping two and a half hours.  The set-up for the heist is needlessly meticulous (almost to the point of being OCD) and some of the suspense sequences never quite pop.  (One heist scene feels like an extreme version of the schoolyard game, Red Light, Green Light.)  Also, the additional character moments don’t really add anything to the mix and only contribute to the film’s already bloated running time. 

The big issue though is that Donnie seems to bring Big Nick into his fold way too easily.  I guess if he didn’t, we wouldn’t have a movie.  That said, you never quite buy Big Nick’s heel turn, which predictably results in his Point Break-style morality crisis later in the film. 

With macho bluster to spare, Butler remains entertaining to watch.  Whether shaking down crooks or dancing on ecstasy or biting into shawarma, he provides the movie with a shot in the arm whenever it begins to flag.  Unfortunately, these brief flashes are the only times when Pantera rocks. 

AKA:  Criminal Squad 2.  AKA:  Criminal Squad:  Pantera.  AKA:  Den of Thieves 2:  Pantera.

AZRAEL (2024) **

After the Rapture, the folks who have been left behind (see what I did there) have all become mute.  One woman (Samara Weaving) is kidnapped by a cult who tie her up and try to sacrifice her to a crispy looking monster.  She narrowly escapes and takes off into the woods where she is pursued by not only the monster, but the vengeful cult members as well. 

Written by Simon (You’re Next) Barrett and directed by E.L. (Cheap Thrills) Katz, Azrael has its moments but is a bit underwhelming overall.  Despite the religious implications (and all the Bible verses that act as chapter breaks), this is less a Christian horror flick and more of a rip-off of A Quiet Place since no one in the movie talks.  The odd thing is that the filmmakers never take advantage of the gimmick.  There is one scene where Weaving meets a guy who speaks gibberish and neither she nor the audience can understand him.  However, there’s no real payoff or purpose for everyone to be mute, so why even bother? 

Weaving is one of my favorite actresses working today but giving her a role that requires her to be mute does her a great disservice.  Because she can’t speak, it forces her to do a lot of acting with her eyes and to her credit, she does just about everything you could ask from her.  It’s just that the thin script and drab visuals of the film let her down.  Also, the monsters, who just look like a bunch of guys who got burnt up in a fire, are weak.  The human villains are even worse as they basically look like a tribe of homeless people and lack any true menace. 

On the plus side, the gore is decent.  The scenes of the monsters drinking people’s blood are juicy, and there is not one but two gnarly decapitations.  I give props to Katz and Barrett for the ballsy ending, but honestly, it’s a long time coming.  Weaving is striking while covered in blood and brandishing a machine gun though.  It’s just a shame the filmmakers couldn’t build a film around her that was worthy of that image.

AKA:  Azrael:  Angel of Death.

DEBBIE DOES DALLAS (1978) ** ½

Debbie Does Dallas is one of the most iconic porno movies of all time.  It was made when everyone was going crazy for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, so spinning the idea of sexy cheerleaders into a sex flick was a no-brainer.  Oddly enough, it never quite lives up to its title. 

The plot is simple.  Bambi Woods stars as Debbie, who along with her high school cheerleading team is trying to raise money for their trip to Texas.  It doesn’t take them long to figure out the best way to make money is the old-fashioned way.  

Like most classics of the genre, Debbie Does Dallas seems kind of quaint now, especially after so many imitators and sequels.  Most of the scenes are tame and the few that manage to be potentially hot are over before they can gather much steam.  

Many of the sex scenes involve threesomes, if you’re into that kind of thing.  The first scene has some football players banging a pair of cheerleaders in the shower.  Next, a girl masturbates with a candlestick before getting it on with an older couple.  Then, two girls earn money by washing a guy’s car before learning more can be made by letting him in their backseat.  (If you know what I mean.)  Another girl gets caught giving head in the library and is spanked by the horny old librarian.  That’s followed by a girl taking on two guys in a sauna.  Then, two chicks blow a guy in a record store.  Finally, Debbie dons her cheerleading outfit and bangs her boss (Robert Kerman from Cannibal Holocaust). 

One surprising thing about Debbie Does Dallas is that Debbie isn’t in it a whole lot.  Plus, she doesn’t come close to doing enough people to approximate the population of Dallas.  There’s also not much cheerleading either, which is disappointing.  Woods, who only appeared in a handful of movies (most of which were in the Debbie series), is charming though, which helps. 

The best thing I can say about it is that it feels like a real movie.  This was made during the second wave of the porno chic era.  It was post-Behind the Green Door and Devil in Miss Jones, but still at a point where it looked like porn could go legitimate.  It has the feel of a Hollywood production (okay, a drive-in B movie), but with hardcore scenes.  While it falls short of its reputation, I still liked it just fine.  It certainly works better as a cultural relic than as eroticism though. 

AKA:  Hi!  Hi!  Debbie!  AKA:  Dallas Lolitas.  

PASS THRU (2016) ****

The man, the myth, the legend, Neil Breen returns with yet another magnum opus.  Pass Thru features all of Breen’s hallmarks:  Scenes of Breen playing an all-powerful being who walks aimlessly through the desert, tigers, random suicides, and tons of vitriol being spewed at crooked lawyers, politicians, and bankers.  In short, it’s another banger by Breen. 

This time, Breen sets his sights on the immigration problem.  Two women flee a caravan of people leaving “their country” (which country is never stated) when drug runners try to gun them down.  They take off into the desert where they stumble upon Thgil (Breen), a junkie who offers them shelter.  Little do they know he’s actually AI from the future in human form who has been sent back in time to eliminate corrupt and evil people. 

Pass Thru is easily identifiable as a work of manic genius right from the get-go.  Breen’s absolute refusal to use transition and/or establishing shots will give you whiplash as the film plays out in a series of visual non-sequiturs.  The acting is terrible (especially by the female leader of the caravan), which only adds to the hilarity. 

As with I am Here… Now, Breen plays another whacked-out deity.  In the film’s most memorably bonkers sequence (Spoilers for a batshit crazy Neil Breen movie), he causes “The Cleanse”, which is like a reverse Rapture and makes all the bad people on Earth disappear.  Then, he goes all Network on our ass and commandeers a TV news studio and rants and raves about corruption in business, government, and other American institutions. 

The funniest bit though is after he makes all the gunmen leading the caravan disappear.  What does he tell the grateful refugees crossing over to the United States trying to start a new life?  “GO HOME!  Make a difference THERE!”  Incredible. 

Not many directors can be called true auteurs, but Breen is certainly one of them.  He trots out all his tried-and-true themes and visual motifs yet again and wears his heart on his sleeve, technical and budgetary limitations be damned.  Nobody, and I mean nobody, could make a movie like Pass Thru in a million years.  Very few directors begin their career with banger after banger, but Double Down, I am Here… Now, Fateful Findings, and Pass Thru are about as good/bad as you can get 

In Breen we trust.