Friday, August 7, 2020

THE CAR: ROAD TO REVENGE (2019) ***

 

Who would wait 42 years to make a sequel to The Car?  Why, G.J. Echternkamp, the guy who waited 42 years to make a sequel to Death Race 2000, that’s who!  While it’s vastly uneven and maybe at times downright stupid, The Car:  Road to Revenge is without a doubt the best 42 Years After the Fact Sequel to a Killer Car Movie ever made.

Remember the original?  You know, the one where James Brolin was menaced by a killer car?  Although the car in this one is eventually retrofitted to resemble the car in the first movie, the overall approach couldn’t be more different.  In the first film, there was never an explanation as to why the car killed people.  It was just a killer car on four wheels hellbent to run over a lot of folks.  In this one, we get about twenty whole minutes devoted to laboriously setting up why and how the car came to life. 

You see, an arrogant District Attorney (Jamie Bamber) is desperately trying to bring a demented street gang of bioengineered punks to justice.  One night, the gang breaks into his office and throws him out the window.  Naturally, he lands on his beloved car, The “Lazarus One” (and no, I’m not kidding, that’s the name of the car) and dies instantly.  Possessed by its owner’s spirit, the car wastes no time tracking down the punks that killed him and turning the gang members into human roadkill.

Oh, and did I mention it takes place… IN THE FUTURE?  I mean, I guess that would be okay if the movie was an original piece, but it’s especially odd when you’re trying to connect it to the 1977 original (which took place in 1977).  I never thought I would see a cyberpunk sequel to a James Brolin movie, let alone a cyberpunk sequel to The Car, but here we are.

The gang members are comprised of assorted oddballs that look like extras from The Warriors, Escape from New York, The Crow, and (I’m not kidding) Amadeus.  I mean bizarre doesn’t even begin to cover it.   One guy has a drill bit that extends from his middle finger that he uses to burrow holes through people’s skulls.  The other futuristic tech is also eye-opening.  Take for instance the courtroom scene when a gang member is sentenced to death.  After the verdict is issued, a plastic tube drops down from the ceiling and traps him inside.  The tube then depressurizes, promptly making him explode.  

I guess in the future, there’s no chance for parole.

The car attack scenes are similar to Christine.  The car slowly stalks its prey, before flashing its high beams at them, and running them down.  Sometimes, the car terrorizes them a bit first, making them say stuff like, “What the fuck are you?” before they are ran over, squashed, or pushed over a cliff.

I also thought it was funny that the guy who possesses the car is an asshole.  I guess maybe funny isn’t the right word.  Maybe “refreshing” is the word I was looking for.  I guess he had to be a dick to make the third act work, because it’s here where he finds out his girlfriend (Kathleen Munroe) has moved on and is boning the cop (Grant Bowler) who’s trying to solve his murder.  He doesn’t like that too much and tries to flatten them both like a pancake. 

The killer car scenes are gory as Hell too.  We get a lot of exploding bodies and crushed skulls that turn the pavement red.  Echternkamp also delivers a gnarly little home invasion sequence that kicks all kinds of ass too and announces that our heroine is not a cookie cutter damsel in distress, but an ass-kicking, karate-chopping, machine-gun-toting badass.

Just so you know, there IS some connective tissue with the original film.  The co-star of part one, Ronny Cox also has a cameo here, albeit playing an entirely different character.  This time out, he’s the mechanic who fits the car with the same grill as the one from the first movie.  He doesn’t stick around very long, but if Cox is still alive in 42 years, I sure as hope there’s a place for him in part 3.

Like the Death Race sequels, this was a DTV flick from Universal’s home video branch, 1440 Entertainment.  I don’t know how much IP you have to go through before you make a sequel to The Car, but they’ve obviously reached that point  Not only did Universal save some cash by shooting this baby in Bulgaria, but I think they snuck some B-roll footage from a Fast and the Furious movie in there and passed it off as a chase scene, which I’m sure saved them even more scratch.

Look, The Car:  Road to Revenge is not a perfect film.  It spins its (ahem) wheels in places and the finale is rushed.  However, if you are looking for 88 minutes of gory, brain dead, badass fun, this should fit the bill.  Even if you can’t fully divorce yourself from the original movie, I think you’ll find enough nuttiness here to keep you happy.  I mean there’s a scene in which the villain’s sexy henchwoman crashes the underground cyberpunk bar brandishing a forearm-mounted flamethrower that is just a thing of demented beauty.  I don’t know if anyone will be so bold to call this great cinema, but it is certainly great fun.

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