ANTLERS (2021) **

A meth head (Scott Haze) goes down in an Oregon mine and comes out a monster.  His young son, Lucas (Jeremy T. Thomas) then has to deal with his gruesome papa, so he locks him up and feeds him roadkill.  When dead raccoons fail to slay his hunger, dear old dad breaks out looking for human food.  Lucas’ concerned teacher (Keri Russell) and her sheriff brother (Jesse Plemons) investigate and learn a mythical Native American spirit may be the culprit.  

I was a big fan of Scott Cooper’s previous films, (especially Out of the Furnace and Hostiles), and I was intrigued at the prospect of him tackling a horror flick (particularly one produced by Guillermo del Toro).  However, the sluggish pacing and dour performances keep it from gaining any real momentum.  Cooper, as you would expect, is able to create an abundance of gloomy atmosphere.  Ultimately, there just isn’t enough meat in between the monster noshing to keep your interest.  

It doesn’t help that the monster is crappy.  It starts off looking like a cross between one of those hillbilly cannibals from The Hills Have Eyes remake and E.T. (complete with glowing heart light).  Later, it transforms into a giant crummy looking CGI weredeer.  While the leftovers of the monster’s victims are appropriately gnarly, the attack scenes themselves are often too darkly lit to really maximize their impact.  

You can definitely feel del Toro’s influence as this is one of those modern-day horrific variations on old school folktale.  I just think he would’ve been better suited to the material than Cooper.  While Cooper’s touches are obvious (particularly in the early going), I just don’t think he had the chops necessary when it came to the more horror centric sequences.  The ending is especially weak, unless you’re someone who always wanted to see Slater from Dazed and Confused be impaled by a weredeer.  Because of that, Antlers feels more than a little toothless.  

It would pair perfectly with another lousy Keri Russell vs. Shitty Monster movie, Dark Skies.