We have all heard of Chekhov’s Gun which states if a gun is introduced in the first act it must be fired before the end of the movie. The Kindred introduces a new addition to the theory: Chekhov’s Watermelon. This principle states that if you feature excessive shots of a watermelon in the first act, a slimy tentacle monster must burst out of it at some point in the film.
Kim Hunter is a scientist who dies of a heart attack and leaves her house to her son, David Allen Brooks. Soon after, he brings all his scientist crony friends to the place to continue his mother’s experiments. From there, it doesn’t take long before he comes face to face with his “brother”, a mutant octopus baby that’s ready to tear through the group like an All You Can Eat Buffet.
Helmed by the directing team of Stephen Carpenter and Jeffrey Obrow (The Dorm That Dripped Blood), The Kindred is a good old fashioned ‘80s shocker. It’s filled with mutant babies, tentacle attacks, fish people transformations, and thousands of gallons of goo, slime, and glop being tossed around. The special effects are slimy and effective. The monster is very cool, and the way the creature burrows its appendages into its victims will get under your skin (and theirs). The screenplay (which was co-written by Psycho’s Joseph Stefano) is full of surprises as you’re never quite sure where the monster will strike (or look like) next.
Brooks is a solid leading man for this sort of thing and Talia Balsam (daughter of Martin and ex-wife of George Clooney) makes for a fine Final Girl. I also enjoyed Amanda (Leviathan) Pays’ performance as a sexy British scientist who’s keeping a pretty wild secret. It’s Rod Steiger (sporting a terrible wig) who takes the acting honors as an evil rival who comes snooping around the house. If you’re the kind of person who loves seeing former Oscar winners having buckets of KY Jelly dumped on them, then you and The Kindred will be kindred spirits.
AKA: Anthony.
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