GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 (2017) *** ½

The opening scene of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is one of pure joy.  The adorable Baby Groot (Vin Diesel) does a toe-tapping dance number to ELO’s “Mr. Blue Sky” while Star Lord (Chris Pratt), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Drax (Dave Bautista), and Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) fight a giant space squid.  Most directors would make the space squid battle the center of the action.  Thank God director James Gunn isn’t most people.  Instead, he focuses on Baby Groot’s dance moves while all the space action happens in the background.

This is truly one of the best moments in a Marvel movie thus far.  The only problem is that Gunn tries this same ploy of keeping the action obscured while something humorous is happening in the foreground a little too often.  Each time he does so, it’s with diminishing returns.  Since the first time he did it was unadulterated cinematic bliss, I can’t say I really blame him for trying to recapture that feeling.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is a sequel set in The Empire Strikes Back mode.  I don’t mean that it’s a particularly darker movie, although there is some dark stuff in it.  What I mean is that it is steeped in Daddy Issues and that half of the team is split up for most of the running time.  It also has a bit of a Wrath of Khan vibe as there is at least one touching death scene.

As you can see, just by throwing out Empire and Khan in conjunction with this movie, you can already tell it’s a pretty good one.  I can’t say it’s quite as good as the first one, but that’s mostly because it lacks the freshness and invention of the original.  Things really sizzle when Rocket and Baby Groot have to team up with their former foe Yondu (Michael Rooker) to escape the clutches of some space pirates.  In fact, Yondu’s whole character arc is one of the genuine surprises of the entire flick.  We all know that Michael Rooker is a national treasure.  It’s just that he has been woefully underutilized for decades.  Here, Gunn gives him a golden opportunity to do what he does best and Rooker hits it out of the park.

Going into the film, I was the most hyped about seeing Kurt Russell.  He is a great addition to the Marvel Universe and he does a fine job with his role.  There really isn’t anything wrong with his character arc, except that it’s predictable.  (I mean, his name is Ego, which pretty much tells you that he’s only looking out for himself.)  The way he plays it though, with that unmistakable twinkle in his eyes, keeps it from feeling stale.

Even though the film mostly centers around Pratt, it still feels like he gets the short end of the stick.  He was a revelation in the first movie.  You could see a movie star in the making.  Here, he’s mostly a dick to his friends until he learns the error of his ways.  Like Russell, he’s not exactly bad or anything, it’s just that the writing is a bit flat (and the final superhero battle looks like it came right out of Man of Steel).

Luckily, Drax is even more hilarious this time out.  Once again, Dave Bautista steals scene after scene from his more prestigious co-stars.  I also liked the interplay between Gamora and her sister Nebula (Karen Gillan). 

So yeah, it may not entirely be successful, but it’s amazing just how good Vol. 2 is.  I can’t say it’s as good as the first one.  I can say it comes damned close.

If anything, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is the second best sequel starring Vin Diesel and Kurt Russell about a makeshift family unit engaging in crazy action sequences where the villain from the last one is a good guy in this one I’ve seen in the past month.

 

Marvel Cinematic Universe Scorecard:

Avengers:  Age of Ultron:  ****

The Incredible Hulk:  ****

Iron Man:  ****

Iron Man 3:  ****

Captain America:  Civil War:  *** ½

Ant-Man:  *** ½

Guardians of the Galaxy:  *** ½

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:  *** ½

The Avengers:  ***

Captain America:  The First Avenger:  ***

Captain America:  The Winter Soldier:  ***

Thor:  ***

Thor:  The Dark World:  ***

Iron Man 2:  ***

Doctor Strange:  ** ½

 

2017 Comic Book Movie Scorecard:

The LEGO Batman Movie:  ****

Logan:  ****

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:  *** ½

Ghost in the Shell:  *** ½

EMPIRE STATE (2013) ** ½

Chris (Liam Hemsworth) wants to be a cop so he can support his family, but he just isn’t cut out for it.  Instead, he gets a job as a security guard for an armored car company.  He quickly realizes that the company doesn’t give a shit about anything.  The security is lax, the cameras are broken, and the entry code is 1-2-3-4.  After Chris’ partner (Michael Rispoli) is killed during a hold-up, the company refuses to pay his widow a proper settlement.   So Chris decides to steal a bunch of money and give her the bulk of it.  Unfortunately, he blabs about it to his hotshot friend (Michael Angarano from Sky High) who tells some local thugs just how easy it is to steal from the place, and they pressure Chris into planning another heist.  Naturally, the robbery doesn’t go as planned, and a badass cop (The Rock) starts needling Chris to find the missing loot.

Empire State starts off with great promise, but it peters out about halfway through.  The film is at its best when it focuses on the relationship between Hemsworth and Angarano.  You get a definite Mean Streets vibe from their characters.  Angarano is particularly great as the slimy loudmouth best friend and Hemsworth does a good job as the straight arrow whose one lapse in judgment leads to an unending shit storm.

Unfortunately, once he robs the place, there’s really nothing left for his character to do.  Most of the time, he stands idly by, sulking as his friend, the Greek mob, and some Colombian drug dealers worm their way into the mix, all trying to get a cut of the money.  It’s here where the picture starts to get muddled.  I think director Dito (Fighting) Montiel was going for a slow burn type of deal, but the finale suffers from a so-so shootout and a couple of obvious plot twists.

At least the picture is anchored by a great supporting turn by The Rock.  He’s so good that you’ll wish his role was bigger.  He exudes attitude and swagger as the ball-breaking cop on the case.  Whether he’s playing mind games with Hemsworth or talking shit to gangsters, the film really comes alive whenever he’s on screen.  Even when the movie is going south, The Rock keeps you watching. 

GAMERA THE BRAVE (2006) ** ½

A little boy is having trouble coming to grips with his mother’s death.  One day he finds a baby turtle and makes it his pet.  He soon learns that this is no ordinary turtle as it can fly around his room.  At first, he is able to keep Gamera out of sight, but that becomes a problem once it starts growing rapidly.  Meanwhile, a lot of ships begin disappearing off the coast of Japan.  Do you think a giant monster could be responsible for the disappearances?  You bet.  Do you think Gamera is going to grow up and kick the monster’s butt?  Damn right!

The scenes of the kid bonding with the little Gamera are the best ones in the movie.  Usually in these films we have a giant turtle befriending a little boy, but in this one, they reverse their roles.  It’s a clever little twist on the conventions of not only the Gamera series, but of giant monster flicks as a whole.

My favorite scene directly rips off E.T. where the kid is out and about while Gamera stays at home and whatever happens to the kid happens to Gamera at the house.  While he’s out skateboarding in a skating bowl, Gamera is narrowly avoiding being cooked alive in a wok.  It’s corny, sure, but I dug it.

The monster fights are solid.  The villain looks like a reptilian version of the bad guys from The Dark Crystal and he has a retractable tongue like the Alien.  I also liked the new Gamera costume.  He looks more wide-eyed and spry, a look that was perhaps inspired by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The movie itself never really takes off and achieves the heights of the newer Godzilla movies, but it’s fun for the most part.  While the ‘90s Gamera series was highly touted, they more or less left me cold.  This one is an improvement in just about every way.  I’d say it’s about on par with the ‘60s Gamera films.  While it’s not exactly impressive or memorable, it gets the job done.  Gamera fans will be pleased, although others may be left wanting more.

A DANGEROUS METHOD (2011) *** ½

Even when he isn’t working in the horror genre, David Cronenberg’s movies are overtly psychological and sexual.  That makes him an ideal director for this story about Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) and Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen).  Jung heals a young patient (Keira Knightley) using Freud’s “Talking Cure” and soon finds himself head over heels in love with her.  Even though he is a married family man, he still feels compelled to continue with his risky, kinky relationship with his patient.  Freud begins to take a personal interest in Jung’s work, although they often find themselves at odds with one another’s ideas.

Cronenberg, for better or worse, has given up mutant flies and rage babies in his work, but it’s fun seeing his themes melding nicely into what is (on the surface, at least) a period drama.  Make no mistake, this is a monster movie.  It’s just that the monster in this one is repression.  Jung holds back his feelings for his patient because it’s not “proper” while she freely gives into any temptation that comes her way.  It’s Jung’s need to repress his emotions that ultimately leads to the crumbling of their relationship.   

The triumvirate of performances anchors the movie, even when the script threatens to go off the tracks (things jump around a lot in the third act).  Fassbender is terrific as Jung.  He does a nice balance of a scholarly doctor and chronic horndog.  His scenes with Knightley bristle with sexual tension and the pair have a lot of chemistry together.  Mortensen is equally great as Freud.  He is smug and self-satisfied whenever Jung toes the line and accepts his theories, but broods with wounded pride and heartless contempt whenever they don’t see eye to eye.  Still, their friendship endures throughout the years (there’s a lot of letter-writing in this movie) and together, they laid the groundwork for psychoanalysts everywhere.

TABOO 3 (1984) **

Kay Parker has to deal with her son leaving home after he is unable able to continue their incestuous relationship.  Before long, she starts having sexual feelings for her younger son, Jerry Butler.  Kay feels guilty about having such taboo desires, but she quickly gets over it once she finds out her girlfriend is having an incestuous relationship of her own.

Taboo 3 is a mediocre ‘80s XXX flick in just about every regard.  Unlike its predecessors, the performances just aren’t very good.  Parker in particular is uninspired and her flat line readings of bland dialogue like, “I hate this incest thing!” are not up to the standards she set for herself in the previous films.  Another stumbling block is the fact that there aren’t really any sparks between her and Butler, which makes their final scene anticlimactic.

Speaking of Butler, his character is a manager of a lame British rock band whose singer looks like Rod Stewart.  Because of that, the running time is padded with performances by the band (they are rather terrible).  That really wouldn’t matter too much if the sex scenes were hot.  Unfortunately, they are all rather tepid.  The only one that really stands out is the big orgy scene (which prominently features Ron Jeremy), and even then, it isn’t nearly as steamy as the similar scenes in the previous films in the series.

AKA:  Taboo 3:  The Final Chapter.

DEATH RIDE TO OSAKA (1983) ** ½

American girls with dreams of stardom in their eyes are lured to a Tokyo nightclub with the promise of a job opportunity.  When they get there, they are dismayed to learn that they have actually been hired as what are essentially glorified prostitutes.  One such girl is Jennifer Jason-Leigh, a mousy, naïve waitress who’s an aspiring singer that eagerly signs up to be the club’s main attraction.  Once she figures out what’s going on, she tries  to escape before the Yakuza who runs the club have her killed.    

Jennifer Jason-Leigh gives a good performance as the likeable and shy heroine.  Ann Jillian (the same year as her saucy turn in Mr. Mom) is equally fine as the most experienced girl at the club who does a sultry dance number.  Speaking of Mr. Mom, Carolyn Seymour also shows up as the icy female head of the operation.  Mako and Soon-Tek Oh are also around to lend their considerable talents. 

Director Jonathan Kaplan has pretty much made a career out of telling stories about women being assaulted and/or imprisoned as he also did The Accused, Brokedown Palace, and Reform School Girl.  This was originally a TV movie (you can tell because Ann Jillian gets “Guest Star” billing), but I saw the spicy international version that has a little bit of skin.  These moments are really brief though as most of the nudity comes from stripteases and quick shots of women getting dressed.  Overall, the nudity isn’t plentiful enough to make this a worthwhile effort, although it does make it more memorable than your average Movie of the Week drama.    

AKA:  Girls of the White Orchid.  AKA:  Operation Osaka. 

THE STORY OF THE GUN (1991) **

The Story of the Gun seems like a mash-up of a John Woo actioner (there are shots of doves before a shootout) and a Jackie Chan comedy.  None of it really works though, mostly because the comedic shit is pretty unbearable.  The action is competently staged (I liked the scene where a guy gets thrown through a watermelon stand in slow motion) and there is a smattering of blood, although the various fight sequences and shootouts aren’t quite good enough to salvage the movie. 

The plot has Gordon Liu playing a cop who is out to bust a gunrunning ring.  The problem is that the stuff with the villain rising to power takes up too much time.  The subplot with the villain’s love triangle slows things down too.  You also have to put up with a long scene in which a nerdy chick sings karaoke that’s pretty much murder on the ears. 

As much as I love Gordon Liu, it’s kind of hard to buy him playing this type of character.  Not only that, he looks ridiculous sporting a Magnum P.I. mustache and a scraggily mullet.  I mean, look at this guy:

There’s also a weird scene in the beginning where Liu and his son take a bath together that is really uncomfortable to watch (especially when the kid comments on his dad’s “big thing”).  It’s supposed to be played for laughs, but it’s just really odd.  Maybe it’s a cultural thing and something got lost in translation.  At any rate, it just seems out of place and inappropriate.

AKA:  Guns of the Master Killer.