ATOR: THE FIGHTING EAGLE (1983) **

Miles O'Keefe stars in this Conan rip-off from Joe D'Amato.  It is curiously lacking the exploitation goodness you’d expect from that Italian sleaze merchant.  Instead, what we get is long stretches of extreme boredom punctuated with moments of side-splitting hilarity. 

O’Keefe stars as Ator, who must rescue his wife (Ritza Brown) from the clutches of the evil Spider King (Dakkar).  An Amazon warrior (Sabrina Siani) in search of gold and adventure, joins him on his quest.  In the end, Ator squares off against the king and does battle with his giant spider.   

For a while there, I thought this was going to be worse than its more famous sequel, Cave Dwellers.  I mean nothing happens for about the first twenty minutes.  (Heck, the first five minutes is filled with old guys spouting prophecy after prophecy.)  The plot moves along at a sluggish pace, but some of the side journeys Ator takes are amusing.  I liked the part where the Amazon women held wrestling matches and the winner got to use Ator as breeding stock, and the scene where Laura Gemser tries slip Ator a Mickey is right out of a Hercules movie from the ‘60s.   

Dakkar makes for an OK villain, if only because of his willingness to let spiders crawl all over his bare arms and bald head.  The giant spider is probably the most memorable part, and for all the wrong reasons.  The budget was so low that they could only afford to show four of its legs at a time.  The editing during Ator’s final showdown with it is downright hilarious too.     

AKA:  Ator.  AKA:  Ator the Invincible.

BLACK PANTHER (2018) *** ½

Twenty years ago, Blade was released.  Its success was largely due to Wesley Snipes’ iconic performance as the badass bloodsucker.  Back in 1998, there were no notions of shared Cinematic Universes.  It was just a strong black actor starring in a comic book movie and elevating it into the ranks of a modern classic.  Oddly enough, it took twenty years for another black Marvel character to topline his own franchise.  Although I think Blade is more significant because it was the first film under the modern-day Marvel brand, there is no denying that Black Panther has taken the world by storm. 

The closest comparison to Black Panther I can make is Shaft.  It is not a perfect movie, but it's cultural significance overshadows its flaws.  Like Shaft, it's a black director working with a mostly black cast on a tent pole action film with a soundtrack by a renowned black artist.  Since it was director Ryan Coogler’s follow-up to Creed, I couldn’t wait to see it.  While it falls short of the heights of Creed (and Blade), it’s still a top-rate comic book flick.

After the events of Captain America:  Civil War, T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) returns home to Africa to take up the mantel of Black Panther, king of Wakanda.  His reign is challenged by the determined Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan) who claims he has a legitimate right to the throne.   When Killmonger defeats T’Challa, the kingdom is forced to go along with his militant regime.  It’s then up to T’Challa to regain his strength and defeat Killmonger once and for all. 

I think the weaker parts of Black Panther are the superhero-y moments, mostly because we have seen that stuff a dozen times before.  What we haven't seen is a black nation portrayed as royalty with tech that would make Luke Skywalker and James Bond envious.  As great as Boseman and Jordan are, Wakanda is the real star.  The world-building aspects take elements from other movies, but still manage to feel fresh and unique.  I loved the hierarchy of the various tribes and the combination of primitive and futuristic tech reminded me a bit of John Carter.

As a fan of Creed, I was hoping Coogler would deliver on the action sequences.  Unfortunately, some of the fights are too dark and/or feature quick-cut editing that detract from the action.  The big costumed brawl during the finale looks a bit too cartoony, but the challenge fights for the throne are heated, brutal, and gorgeously filmed.  These fights are also structured like a Rocky movie.  Specifically, Rocky 3 as Black Panther loses his title and has to have a rematch in order to reclaim it.

There are a lot of characters to juggle, but Coogler does a good job at giving the supporting characters moments to shine.  The cast contains a wealth of strong women, all of whom leave their mark.  Lupita Nyong’o has considerable chemistry with Boseman as his love interest, and Danai Gurira kicks a lot of ass as the leader of his royal guard.  It’s Letita Wright who steals the show as Black Panther’s smart mouth sister who constantly busts his balls and acts like a teenage version of Q.

The movie really belongs to Jordan as the seething Killmonger.  When he’s front and center, you kind of forget about Black Panther.  That’s not a knock on Boseman, who is charismatic, and a born leading man.  Like The Joker in Tim Burton’s Batman, he blows the hero off the screen with his commanding screen presence.  He’s truly one of the best Marvel villains of all time.

Sure, the movie has its flaws.  In fact, I think if the running time had been a good twenty or thirty minutes longer, it would’ve let the plot breathe a little and some of the pacing issues would’ve ironed themselves out.  However, the big take away is that Marvel has a character that resonates with a whole new audience.  I for one can’t wait to see Black Panther kick some ass in the upcoming Infinity War.

Marvel Cinematic Universe Scorecard:

Avengers:  Age of Ultron:  ****

The Incredible Hulk:  ****
Iron Man:  ****
Thor:  Ragnarok:  ****
Spider-Man:  Homecoming:  ****
Iron Man 3:  ****
Captain America:  Civil War:  *** ½
Ant-Man:  *** ½
Guardians of the Galaxy:  *** ½
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:  *** ½ 
Black Panther:  *** ½ 
The Avengers:  ***
Captain America:  The First Avenger:  ***
Captain America:  The Winter Soldier:  ***
Thor:  ***
Thor:  The Dark World:  ***
Iron Man 2:  ***
Doctor Strange:  ** ½ 

MYSTERIOUS ISLAND OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (1979) **

Peter Lawford is a wealthy industrialist who is using his private plane to get an injured worker (Michael McGreevey, from the Dexter Riley movies) to a hospital.  The pilot (Sandy McPeak) gets them hopelessly lost so when they run low of fuel, they have to land on an uncharted island.  They soon learn the place is inhabited solely by women.  Lizbeth (Jaime Lyn Bower) rules the women with an iron fist and takes orders from a divine spirit known only as “Sister”.  She allows the men to stay only if they agree to fight off some nasty “head choppers" who periodically pillage the island.  Naturally, the co-pilot (Steven Keats, from Death Wish) falls head over heels for one of the natives, which causes a power struggle among the women.

Even for a ‘70s Made for TV movie, Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women is a slow and uneventful affair.  Once the men find their way to the island, there isn’t a whole lot for them to do except make doe eyes at the natives.  The identity of Lizbeth’s supernatural deity is predictable, and the explanation is overly long-winded.  (I mean, what would a ‘70s Made for TV be without a lot of gratuitous padding?)

The cast makes it watchable.  Lawford seems to be having a good time surrounded by beautiful women and Keats does a fine job as the most levelheaded male in the bunch.  Clint (Killdozer) Walker is probably the most memorable as the muscle-bound passenger with a giant chip on his shoulder.  Of the native women, Kathryn Davis fares best as the blond-haired “Snow” who gets a crush on Keats.  It’s unfortunate she only starred in one more movie because she is quite fetching.  We also have Jayne (Body and Soul) Kennedy as the lone black woman of the tribe named “Chocolate”.

The script was co-written by Gary Sherman, who was a few years away from his magnum opus, Vice Squad. 

AKA:  Island of Sister Theresa.  

EXTRACTION (2015) ***

Bruce Willis stars (and by “stars” I mean he filmed all his scenes in one day and mostly appears at the very beginning and end of the movie) as a secret agent who is kidnapped by terrorists.  If their demands aren’t met, they’ll use their MacGuffin to cripple the world’s computers or something.  Kellan Lutz is Willis’ son, a desk jockey at the CIA who can’t seem to pass his Fed Final Exam.  Once he learns his dad has been kidnapped, he teams up with his ex-girlfriend (Gina Carano), who also happens to be a field operative to rescue him and save the world.

Extraction is your typical “Let's Rescue My Dad from an Abandoned Warehouse” movie.  Lutz is a capable, if unexceptional leading man, but equips himself nicely in the action scenes.  Carano does a fine job too and they have enough chemistry together to keep you watching.  In fact, this is one of the few times where she gets to exhibit her A) Immense physical prowess B) Acting range and C) A little bit of sexuality.

Bruce may be working on limited screen time, but he still manages to leave an impression.  Although he’s been going to the DTV well quite often in recent years, he refuses to phone it in here.  He has a nice rapport with both Lutz and Carano, and you wish there was more of him to go around.  

Director Steven C. (Arsenal) Miller does a solid job overall.  He handles the car chases and shootouts capably enough and while there are a few instances of shaky-cam during the fight scenes, it’s not nearly enough to derail the film.  Miller certainly knows how to keep things moving.  Extraction runs a lean 82 minutes and moves at a lightning pace.  I can’t say it’s a classic or anything, but it’s one of Bruce’s best DTV efforts.

CASTLE OF BLOOD (1964) ** ½

A reporter (Georges Riviere) meets Edgar Allan Poe (Montgomery Glenn) in a bar for an interview.  A lord (Raul H. Newman) interrupts and offers the reporter a bet that can’t spend the night in his creepy castle.  When he gets there, he finds the place inhabited by the sexy Elisabeth (Barbara Steele), who falls immediately in love with him.  Elisabeth’s sister (Margrete Robsahm) seems jealous of her new beau, but is she really making a play for the hapless reporter, or is she trying to save him from a fate worse than death?

Director Anthony M. Margheriti was trying to capitalize on the success of Mario Bava’s Black Sunday.  He apes Bava’s style adequately enough and gives the film a healthy dose of atmosphere.  Fog-drenched sets, cobwebbed hallways, and candlelit studies abound.  The scene inside the creepy crypt is sure to give fans of Black Sunday a sense of déjà vu.  

As an exercise in style, it works, but as a horror film, it’s a little uneven.  The appearance of a skull-faced ghoul that suddenly moves is rather effective and there’s a surprising bit of nudity too. The assorted murders, ghosts, and supernatural happenings are a tad on the predictable side though.  (One plot device even plays like a gothic horror variation on A Christmas Carol.)  I could’ve also done without the scene where a snake’s head is chopped off.  

Steele is easily the best thing about the movie.  She looks terrific and her sultry demeanor makes the slow passages worthwhile.  Margrete Robsahm is a solid foil for Steele and they are especially good in the scenes where they act out their sibling rivalry.  Georges Riviere is a bit of a dullard though, and the many sequences where looks endlessly down hallways and staircases for Steele get repetitive.  

Margheriti later remade this as Web of the Spider.

AKA:  Castle of Terror.  AKA:  Long Night of Terror.

LUCK-KEY (2016) *** ½

Jae-sung (Joon Lee) is a suicidal actor who stumbles upon an unconscious man (Hae-jin Yoo) in a bathhouse.  Eager for a new life, Jae-sung switches locker keys with the man, who judging by his clothes and car appears to be extremely wealthy.  When the guy finally comes around, he’s suffering from amnesia and accepts his new life as a struggling actor easily enough.  Jae-sung on the other hand slowly realizes his new identity isn’t what it appears to be.  He eventually figures out he’s a hitman and that his target is his next-door neighbor, a girl he’s already fallen head over heels for.  

From the set-up, you’d fully expect Luck-Key to be an obvious action comedy, but there’s surprisingly little action in it.  Much of the film is dependent on the two men growing into their new identities.  Predictably, they have to find each other and work together to straighten their lives out in the third act.  Even these scenes refuse to give into convention and cliché, managing to surprise the audience at every turn.

The performances are solid across the board.  We spend a great deal of time with both Lee and Yoo and get to know what makes their characters tick.  When Yoo’s career starts taking off, we’re rooting for him, even though we know he’ll have to get back to his job as a hitman eventually.

Although the dual struggles between the characters is often amusing, honestly this runs about ten minutes too long.  Some of the Meet Cute stuff with the heroes’ respective girlfriends sometimes drags the pace down and could’ve easily been trimmed.  However, this is a relatively minor quibble in the long run.

Luck-Key is proof that you don’t need a lot of action and violence to keep a plot about a hitman afloat.  In fact, it’s the lengths Yoo goes through to NOT kill anyone that makes his character so endearing.  This is the rare movie in which the humor comes out of the characters’ decisions and conflicting personalities.  Maybe more Hollywood productions should take a cue from it.

AKA:  Key of Life.

EXHUMED FILMS: 20 YEARS OF TERROR (2017) ***

I’ve never been to one of Exhumed Films’ all-night horror marathons or special screenings of long-lost cult classics.  This trailer compilation is a sampler of movies they’ve shown throughout the years.  For folks like me who haven’t been able to attend their shows, this is the next best thing.  While it’s certainly fun watching this at home, I can only imagine how it would play to a packed house. 

There are trailers for plenty of classic horror films and fan favorites.  Several of the genre’s top filmmakers are featured, with John Carpenter being the best represented with trailers for Assault on Precinct 13, Dark Star, and Halloween.  Even though trailers for such films as Last House on the Left, Phantasm, and Zombie have appeared on other trailer compilations over the years, it’s still good to see them again.  

If you’re a fan of trailer compilations like me, you’ll love seeing some of the more obscure titles.  The trailers for Monstrosity, The Night Daniel Died, and The Satanist sure piqued my curiosity.  I was also glad to see plenty of trailers for 3-D movies like Dynasty, Metalstorm:  The Destruction of Jared-Syn, and Treasure of the Four Crowns, but the one for Comin’ at Ya was truly something special.  One area that made this compilation different was its inclusion of films from the ‘90s like Dead-Alive, Candyman, and Naked Lunch.  I hope it’s a trend that continues in trailer compilations to come.

The ninety-minute running time feels a little brief.  Maybe that’s just because I’ve gotten so spoiled with the Trailer Trauma Blu-rays in recent years.  Still, it’s worth it just for the Beyond the Valley of the Dolls trailer alone.