TERMINAL ISLAND (1973) ***

Before Escape from New York and before No Escape, there was Terminal Island, the original Stick-a-Bunch-of-Prisoners-on-an-Island-and-Let-Them-Kill-Each-Other movie.  Since the prison island is co-ed, it’s much more interesting than your usual prison flick.  Because of the presence of beautiful (but still capable and deadly) women, the film also falls into the Women in Prison genre.  Unlike most of those pictures, the men who try to humiliate and brutalize them aren’t guards or wardens; they’re fellow inmates.

Another reason that makes Terminal Island stand out from the rest of the pack was that it was directed by a woman.  Stephanie (The Working Girls) Rothman handles the action with an assured hand.  The finale, in which stuff blows up real good, is solid and proves that she can deliver the goods as well as her male counterparts. 

Rothman also takes time to establish and build both the male and female characters alike.  While Phyllis Davis and Barbara Leigh do some fine work as two of the busty female prisoners, it’s a pre-Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck who takes the acting honors as a junkie doctor who kicks the habit in order to help the women rise up against their male oppressors.  What makes it even more fun is the presence of Magnum’s Roger E. Mosley as one of the barbaric badasses who rule the island with an iron fist.   

The film is also filled great music.  The soundtrack is really funky and adds to the gritty atmosphere.  Plus, the theme song “It’s Too Damn Bad” is thoroughly awesome and is sure to be stuck in your head for days after.

Although Terminal Island is consistently entertaining throughout, it’s not quite sleazy enough to be considered a classic.  We do get a healthy dose of nudity (including a solid skinny dipping scene) and a funny scene involving some bees.  However, those expecting a more exploitative type of Women in Prison picture might walk away a tad disappointed. 

AKA:  Knucklemen.

22 JUMP STREET (2014) ***

Having successfully infiltrated a high school in the first movie, undercover cops Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum graduate and go to college to stop more drug dealers in this solidly entertaining sequel.  Most sequels are content to do the same thing all over again, just in a different location.  The smart screenplay knowingly accepts this and has a lot of fun playing with the conventions of a sequel. 

It helps that Hill and Tatum willingly accept the ridiculous premise and embrace it.  We also get a pretty funny subplot where Hill gets in hot water with his boss, Ice Cube when he hooks up with his daughter.  (Cube does a fine job yet again as basically the Yelling Captain of the piece.)  The new players, which include Wyatt Russell and Jillian Bell also get some laughs and make the most of their screen time.

22 Jump Street is at its best when it’s satirizing the art of fast-buck sequels.  It’s less interesting (and funny) when it allows Hill and Tatum to split up and “investigate other people”.  While that scene itself is funny, it quickly becomes obvious that they work better together as a team and not so much as two separate solo acts.

Make sure you stick around for the end credits, because it’s easily the best thing about the movie.  It’s here where we get to see trailers for the next ten installments of the series (including a video game).  This section also features some great cameos too (one in particular made me applaud), so keep your eyes peeled.  I don’t know if the team of Lord and Miller will ever get around to directing all (if any) of these future installments, but the clips alone were enough to put a smile on my face. 

WARLORDS OF THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY (1982) * ½

“After the Oil Wars”, Corlie (Annie McEnroe) escapes the clutches of the post-apocalyptic warlord, Straker (James Wainwright) and his armor-plated truck.  She takes up with a motorcycle-riding loner named Hunter (Michael Beck), which sends Straker in a tizzy.  He then sends his goons after Hunter and they proceed to get their butts whipped.

Warlords of the Twenty-First Century isn’t the worst of the post-apocalyptic action movies that came out in the wake of Mad Max, but it definitely belongs on the lower rungs of the genre.  I will praise director Harley Cokliss on the camerawork, which is often quite good, especially during the high-speed chase scenes.  Too bad the rest of the movie is so slow moving and not very exciting.

It doesn’t help that Hunter isn’t much of hero.  Beck isn’t given much to do, except to ride around on a motorcycle while wearing a goofy helmet.  He isn’t bad or anything, it’s just that he gets lost in the shuffle of his own movie.  If anything, Warlords of the Twenty-First Century is just further proof that Beck isn’t much without someone like James Remar (or heck, even Olivia Newton-John for that matter) backing him up.  The flick also suffers from the oddly low key villain turn by Wainwright, who underplays the character’s wickedness a bit too much.

As far as motorcycle-themed post-apocalyptic action flicks go, I’d say you’re better off with something like Warrior of the Lost World than this dull, lethargic, and forgettable programmer.

AKA:  Battle Truck.

RULES DON’T APPLY (2016) *** ½

This was a big box office dud for Warren Beatty (bigger than Ishtar in some regards), but Rules Don’t Apply is a sweet and absolutely winning comedy drama that is anchored by some great performances.  The chemistry between Alden Ehrenreich and Lilly Collins, who play star-crossed lovers who both work for Howard Hughes, is genuine.  Ehrenreich in particular is excellent and I for one can’t wait to see how he’ll fair playing a young Han Solo.  

However, it’s the dynamite performance by Beatty as the eccentric Howard Hughes that dominates the film.  He is clearly having a blast playing the increasingly crazy billionaire.  Beatty gets a lot of mileage out of Hughes’ bizarre quirks and his antics are often fun to watch.  

Yes, the love triangle that develops between the three leads is predictable.  Yes, you can already probably guess how it all will turn out.  Still, the charm and wit in which Ehrenreich, Collins, and Beatty play their characters really resonates with the audience.  The supporting cast, which includes Martin Sheen, Annette Bening, and Matthew Broderick is also stellar.

Overall, Rules Don’t Apply is much more successful at capturing the nostalgia, glamour, and romanticism of the Golden Age of Hollywood than La-La Land.  While that film felt like it was pre-fabricated and homogenized, Beatty captures Tinsel Town in a much more interesting and captivating way.  Also, Collins’ title song is a heck of a lot better than the ones Emma Stone sang, that’s for sure.

BACK FROM THE DEAD AND READY TO PARTY

After dealing with various blogging problems, not to mention the recent death of my laptop, it seemed like The Video Vacuum was going to be yet another movie blog that unceremoniously bit the dust.  Fear not, VV fans, for like the mighty Phoenix, I’ve returned from the ashes to continue to review more celluloid masterpieces and disasterpieces.  Even though I was without a laptop for a few months, I kept up with the movie reviews, which I hope to post here and there until I eventually get caught up.  I hope you all will enjoy them.  Until then, you can still check out my old reviews from LiveJournal here: http://thevideovacuum.livejournal.com/ and continue following me on Letterboxd (https://letterboxd.com/TheVideoVacuum/) and on Twitter (https://twitter.com/TheVideoVacuum).  Thanks to all the loyal fans of the Vacuum for your unending support.

See you at the movies,

Mitch

NEWS AND NOTES

Hey everyone. I guess you can tell I haven’t been around a lot as of late.  I’ve had some problems with LiveJournal lately and to make a long story short, I packed up my bags and went to Blogger for a spell.  I didn’t really like that all that much either, so as of now, I’m kinda in between blogs until I figure out what I want to do.  In the meantime, I’m going to dust off my old Letterboxd account and use that as my temporary home for my reviews.  So if you want to see what I’m up to nowadays, you can find me here:  https://letterboxd.com/thevideovacuum/

SUICIDEGIRLS: THE RELAUNCH (2015) ** ½

Although the SuicideGirls movies are never all that great, I still continue to check them out, mostly because they remind me of those old Centerfold shoots you’d use to see on The Playboy Channel (except with a lot more tattoos and piercings).  There’s something to be said for a film franchise that is nothing more than a series of interludes where women disrobe in front of the camera, occasionally interrupted by dull getting-to-know-you shit.  This isn’t the greatest SuicideGirls flick, but it is the latest, so that counts for something.

The whole “premise” (and I use that term loosely) is that the SuicideGirls website has become old and outdated.  Because of that, the people in charge want to relaunch the website.  In order to do so, they have to come up with a lot of new content.  That’s where the endless scenes of tattooed trollops disrobing come in.

The stripping scenes themselves are hit-and-miss.  The good news is that even if there is a sequence that doesn’t work, there’s another one nipping close behind.  The best sequence features Quinne, a busty babe who does a poolside striptease while all her friends chill out in the background.  She definitely has a way with the camera and her coy innocence is a nice compliment to her overabundance of tattoos.  I also dug the scene of two bikini babes having a topless water gun fight.  Some of the music during the stripteases is a tad annoying, but hey, that’s why the MUTE button was invented.

I could’ve done without all scenes of the girls brainstorming new ideas for photo shoots, publicity stunts, and merchandising.  Many of these scenes feel phony and and/or over-rehearsed.  Since they’re nothing more than filler, these interludes make for a perfect place to go get a sandwich, grab a beer, or fold some laundry.  Trust me, you won’t miss anything.