Thursday, May 11, 2017

SUICIDEGIRLS: THE RELAUNCH (2015) ** ½


Although the SuicideGirls movies are never all that great, I still continue to check them out, mostly because they remind me of those old Centerfold shoots you’d use to see on The Playboy Channel (except with a lot more tattoos and piercings).  There’s something to be said for a film franchise that is nothing more than a series of interludes where women disrobe in front of the camera, occasionally interrupted by dull getting-to-know-you shit.  This isn’t the greatest SuicideGirls flick, but it is the latest, so that counts for something.

The whole “premise” (and I use that term loosely) is that the SuicideGirls website has become old and outdated.  Because of that, the people in charge want to relaunch the website.  In order to do so, they have to come up with a lot of new content.  That’s where the endless scenes of tattooed trollops disrobing come in.

The stripping scenes themselves are hit-and-miss.  The good news is that even if there is a sequence that doesn’t work, there’s another one nipping close behind.  The best sequence features Quinne, a busty babe who does a poolside striptease while all her friends chill out in the background.  She definitely has a way with the camera and her coy innocence is a nice compliment to her overabundance of tattoos.  I also dug the scene of two bikini babes having a topless water gun fight.  Some of the music during the stripteases is a tad annoying, but hey, that’s why the MUTE button was invented.

I could’ve done without all scenes of the girls brainstorming new ideas for photo shoots, publicity stunts, and merchandising.  Many of these scenes feel phony and and/or over-rehearsed.  Since they’re nothing more than filler, these interludes make for a perfect place to go get a sandwich, grab a beer, or fold some laundry.  Trust me, you won’t miss anything.

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