TUBI CONTINUED… ULTRAMAN COSMOS 2: THE BLUE PLANET (2002) **

Musashi, the little kid from Ultraman Cosmos:  The First Contact, is all grown up and has become an astronaut.  He encounters a dead planet in his travels and arrives there just in time to watch Ultraman Cosmos fight a giant monster named Scorpus.  When he returns home, Musashi decides to visit some friends on the island of Saipan where Scorpus once again appears and is fought off by a manta ray-type monster named Rayja who acts as protector of the ocean.  A mermaid babe then takes our hero into the deep to show him her hidden home world under the sea.  Predictably, Scorpus returns with its master, the evil Sandloss, in tow with the intention of decimating the Earth to ash, and the underwater kingdom right along with it.

Once again there’s some silliness here that seems a little ill-fitting. The stuff with the mermaid is lame and feels like an attempt to capture some of the female demographic.  The SRC offshoot, SEA who are an underwater division of science exploration aren’t nearly as memorable either.  Besides, let’s face it:  Being underwater isn’t nearly as cool as being in outer space.  The subplot with the mermaid’s jealous boyfriend slows things down to a crawl too.

The monster battles are where it’s at though.  Scorpus is a pretty decent monster.  He looks like a cross between Gamera and an oversized bedbug and shoots red flames.  The scenes of his worldwide destruction are well done, and it’s a shame that so much of the film is a slog because whenever he and his minions are tearing up the town, The Blue Planet rocks.  The moderately stylish finale when Sandloss blots out the sun and battles two Ultramen in darkness is solid, but it’s not quite enough to put this one in the win column.  The Rayja creatures are decidedly less cool and look especially goofy when they start talking.  Although the scenes of kaiju kicking butt fit the bill, whenever the action switches underwater, the movie sinks like a stone.

AKA:  Ultraman Cosmos:  The Blue Planet.

TUBI CONTINUED… ULTRAMAN COSMOS: THE FIRST CONTACT (2001) ***

A young astrology nut named Musashi (Konosuke Tokai) desperately wants to meet his hero Ultraman.  Luckily for him, he gets his chance when Ultraman crashes to Earth after fighting a metal lobster monster in space. The Scientific Research Circle hears about his encounter and takes the kid on as an honorary member.  Eventually, Ultraman must stop another alien from trying to take over Earth.  

The CGI during the monster fights is a bit chintzy.  However, some of the goofy touches are surprisingly endearing.  Musashi’s robot sidekick had the potential to be annoying, but he winds up being rather cute and innocuous, all things considered.  I also liked that the SRC spaceships came equipped with humorously oversized boxing gloves so they could safely do battle with rampaging kaiju.  

The best thing I can say for Ultraman Cosmos:  The First Contact is that it handles the scenes with the kid characters much better than Ultraman Tiga, Ultraman Dyna, and Ultraman Gaia:  Battle in Hyperspace did.  I especially loved the scene where Ultraman repays Musashi for nursing him back to health by scooping him up in his arms and flying him over the city.  That’s the good stuff right there. 

I also enjoyed the rivalry between the SRC, who want to capture and study the monsters, and the military outfit SHARKS, who naturally just want to destroy them.  It helped give the human drama a bit of a different dimension than your typical Japanese monster movie.  The SRC’s efforts also makes you think of the monsters with a hint of compassion. 

That’s not to say there isn’t some dumb stuff here.  The scene where the citizens of Earth band together to stop the monster by… uh… singing it a lullaby is particularly cringe-inducing.  And at ninety minutes, it’s by far the longest Ultraman flick I’ve watched so far this week.  (It’s over twice as long as Ultraman Tiga Side Story:  Revival of the Ancient Giant.)  Because of that, it’s not nearly as fast-paced as some of the best Ultraman movies.  However, when it manages to find the right balance between giant rubber monsters and genuine heart, it works. 

TUBI CONTINUED… ULTRAMAN TIGA SIDE STORY: REVIVAL OF THE ANCIENT GIANT (2001) ***

Ultraman Tiga Side Story:  Revival of the Ancient Giant is a direct-to-video spin-off of the Ultraman Tiga series.  At forty-four minutes, it’s a lot shorter than some of the other Ultraman movies I’ve watched this week (and those were short to begin with).  If you’re like me and you’re trying to watch 365 movies on Tubi in 365 days, you take the shorties when you can get them.

In the future (2038), Tsubasa Madoka (Shogo Yamaguchi), a member of the Super GUTS team (and the son of Ultraman Tiga) gets sucked into a wormhole along with a dinosaur and winds up 5000 years in the past.  The monster threatens a village of peaceful mountainfolk, and the bad guy wants to use it to vanquish “The Warrior of Light” that the people worship once and for all.  It’s then up to Ultraman Tiga to save the day.

Revival of the Ancient Giant is a “Side Story”, and as a self-contained spin-off it’s a lot of fun.  I guess they thought whisking the son of Ultraman 5000 years into the past wouldn’t screw up the continuity too bad.  Even if you just somehow stumbled upon this without much knowledge of Ultraman in general, you’d probably dig it.

The effects are kind of inconsistent.  Some of the monsters and costumes are very good, while others look like an episode of The Land of the Lost.  That’s part of the charm though.  There was also a really weird effect where the bad guy is standing in front of the monster, and it just looks like he’s standing in front of a big screen TV that’s playing scenes from the movie behind him.  And you know what?  It’s just odd and goofy enough to work. 

The villain himself is really cool too.  He looks like a cross between Darth Vader and the Joker, if such a thing is imaginable.  I mean, if you’re going to steal, steal from two of the best, right?

I’m not saying all of it works.  The stuff with the prehistoric GUTS team flying around on wooden airplanes is cheesy, and the fights where they shoot Street Fighter 2-inspired orbs of light at their enemies isn’t nearly as fun as the giant monster battles.  However, those are relatively minor quibbles all in all.  The final fight kicks ass too, so that’s all you can ask for from something like this.

AKA:  Ultraman Tiga Gaiden:  Revival of the Ancient Giant.  AKA:  Ultraman Tiga:  The Outside Story.

TUBI CONTINUED… ULTRAMAN TIGA, ULTRAMAN DYNA, AND ULTRAMAN GAIA: BATTLE IN HYPER SPACE (1999) ** ½

A kid who’s obsessed with Ultraman has a dream where he gets sucked into the TV while watching an Ultraman video.  One day after school, he finds a red sphere that grants wishes and naturally, he wishes to meet Ultraman.  Then, Ultraman Gaia comes through a portal and winds up in the real world.  Naturally, some bullies get ahold of the sphere and wish for giant monsters to destroy the world. 

All the stuff with the juvenile protagonists makes this feel like one of those bad kid-friendly Godzilla movies.  The brats are pretty annoying and get in the way of the monster mashing.  The “meta” aspect isn’t really used to its full advantage either and the filmmakers kind of forget about it rather quickly.  If anything, it just seems like a lame attempt to shoehorn the kids in there and cater to younger audiences.  I know these Japanese Sci-Fi flicks are a bit of wish fulfillment as it is, but having the kids actually wishing and receiving giant monster battles is a bit on the nose for me.  Maybe even a little up the nose. 

While it was a little bit of a comedown from the other Ultraman movies I’ve seen this week, there was still some good stuff here.  Once the three Ultramen finally join forces, it starts to kick some serious ass (it just takes forever).  The opening scene where Ultraman does battle with a monster that looks like a giant glowing vagina is fairly decent too.  The final monster, “King of Mons” (who is clearly modeled on Godzilla) is badass, and the final six-man tag-team battle is one for the books.  The scene where the three Ultramen split up and fight monsters on land, sea, and space is fun too.  If only we didn’t have to sit through so much kiddie crap in the beginning, it might’ve been a classic.  That said, the finale is strong enough to almost make all the Little Rascals shit tolerable.  Almost.

AKA:  Ultraman Tiga and Ultraman Dyna and Ultraman Gaia:  The Decisive Battle in Hyperspace.  AKA:  Ultraman Tiga and Ultraman Dyna and Ultraman Gaia.  AKA:  Ultraman Tiga and Ultraman Dyna and Ultraman Gaia:  The Great Decisive Attack of Super-Time and Space.  AKA:  Ultraman Gaia:  The Battle in Hyperspace.

TUBI CONTINUED… ULTRAMAN TIGA AND ULTRAMAN DYNA: WARRIORS OF THE STAR OF LIGHT (1998) *** ½

Ultraman Tiga and Ultraman Dyna:  Warriors of the Star of Light kicks off with a fun battle between Ultraman Dyna and a goofy rubbery-looking monster that looks like a cross between Gamera and a piece of moldy cheese.  This fight is cut short when an approaching alien ship blows the beast up.  Then, the alien villain tricks the “Super GUTS” team into powering her Transformer-style robot monster whom she uses to defeat Ultraman Dyna.  As she makes plans to conquer the world, Dyna sets out to find Ultraman Tiga to join the battle and save mankind. 

Let me get this out of the way before I go any further:  Some of the CGI effects in this are reeeeeaaaallly bad.  And when I say reeeeeaaaallly bad, I mean like reeeeeaaaallly bad.  

The good news is, when the movie concentrates on the old school monster mashing the Ultraman series is known for, Warriors of the Star of Light kicks major ass.  The man-in-rubber-suit battles are downright exquisite this time around.  The monsters themselves are pretty damned cool as well.  The Transformer-style robot is badass and gives Ultraman a run for his money.  The bad guy’s final form is impressively designed and quite elaborate too, and the scenes of citywide destruction are also very well done.  Plus, you get two Ultramen for the price of one.  How can you go wrong?

The human drama basically boils down to the usual “believe in yourself”/”be part of the team”/”never say die” cliches you’d expect from something like this.  You know, just enough of it to give the human actors something to do, while simultaneously not getting in the way of the monster mashing.  And let’s face it, that’s the only reason we’re watching it in the first place.  That said, the scene where the humans stand together and profess their belief in the “Power of Light” to resurrect their fallen hero…  Well folks...  That’s the kind of cornball shit I live for. 

AKA:  Ultraman Tiga and Ultraman Dyna:  Warriors of the Planet of Light.  AKA:  Ultraman Tiga and Ultraman Dyna.

TUBI CONTINUED… ULTRAMAN ZEARTH 2 (1997) ** ½

Ultraman Zearth suffers a crippling defeat at the hands of his evil counterpart, Ultraman Shadow before the opening credits even have a chance to fire up.  Unfortunately, that means Ultraman’s human host, Asahi (Masaharu Ishibashi) spends most of the movie kicking rocks and sulking because he got beat up.  Meanwhile, the hot alien chick that controls Ultraman Shadow uses a mind control beam to kidnap hundreds of civilians to keep him powered up.  It’s then up to Ultraman Zearth to stop being such a wimp and kick some ass. 

Ultraman Zearth 2 is an uneven, but mostly entertaining affair.  Some of the computer graphics are so shoddy that it makes the action look like cut scenes from a PC video game.  Fortunately, much of the action comes in the form of guys in old school rubber suits beating the crap out of each other.  When all this is going down, the movie works, even if some of the monsters are overly cutesy this time around.

 

As with the previous entry, the Ultraman team works out of a gas station, but this time they have a clam-faced alien who washes cars and has a credit card machine built into his hands.  Unlike the last flick, it’s kinda slow going (even though it’s only a little over an hour long) and suffers from a decided lack of Ultraman in the middle act.  The good news is the final showdown between Ultraman Zearth and Ultraman Shadow is well done and entertaining.  However, that doesn’t quite make up for his absence elsewhere in the picture.  Regardless, the flick contains one unintentionally hilarious scene where the alien villainess receives what can only be described as a “Golden Shower” from her boyfriend.  This shit has to be seen to be believed and is further proof that watching a ton of Ultraman movies back-to-back was a good idea. 

AKA:  Ultraman Zearth 2:  Superhuman Big Battle – Light and Shadow.

TUBI CONTINUED… ULTRAMAN ZEARTH (1996) ***

After recently enjoying Shin Ultraman and being a fan of the original series, I thought this column would be a good opportunity to catch up on some of the Ultraman movies.  Fortunately for me, Tubi has scads of them.  So, prepare yourself.  The next week or so is going to be Ultraman-centric.

An underground monster with the unlikely name of Cotton-Poppe is stealing gold and eating it.  (Including an Ultraman statue!)  Team Mydo (who use a gas station as their cover) goes into action in their jet Skyfish to investigate.  Turns out, Cotton-Poppe is just using the gold to power up the big-brained Alien Benzene that’s out to destroy Earth.  Meanwhile, Ultraman Zearth comes to Earth but unlike other iterations of the character, he has poor aim and suffers from OCD!  Every time he gets a little dirt or muck on his hands, he has to compulsively wash them!

 

Ultraman Zearth is short and sweet (under an hour long) and has more comedy elements than your typical Ultraman series.  Because of the shortened running time, it sort of feels more like an episode of the TV show than an actual movie.  That’s part of the charm though.  It moves like lightning and has no fat on it whatsoever, something that’s kind of essential for a Japanese giant rubber monster movie. 

I also liked that this Ultraman is a germaphobe, which gives him an interesting and surprisingly human weakness.  Not enough Japanese giant spacemen have mental disorders if you ask me.  Having him use his electric toothbrush to turn into Ultraman was a neat touch too.

Sure, Ultraman Zearth isn’t perfect.  While the original Ultraman theme remains a banger, some of the music in the final battle is grating as hell.  (It’s just someone saying, “Yeah!  Yeah!  Yeah!” on repeat.)  The shitty music kind of prevents the finale from really taking flight as the monster mashing in the third act is of the solid, if unspectacular variety.  That said, there’s still a lot of silly fun here, and the kooky touches help to distinguish it from the (many) other iterations of the franchise.