The First Omen is bar none the best “Give Us the Child” movie in existence. If you’re a sexy pregnant nun fan, then you’re in luck too. The one-two punch of this and Immaculate is pretty incredible. Two hot pregnant nun movies in a span of a couple weeks? As a fan of hot pregnant nun movies, I have to say we’ve been eating pretty good here recently.
Naturally, The First Omen is a prequel to The Omen. It hits all the callbacks (or in this case, call-forwards) you would expect from a new installment of a long dormant horror franchise. The filmmakers deliver variations on famous scenes from the first movie with just enough clever tweaks here and there to make it interesting.
That’s to be expected. What’s not expected is all the funky fucked-up places the movie goes in between these scenes. Imagine a slightly less warped version of Possession and that might give you an idea of what we’re talking about. Folks, I’ve seen a lot of shit in movies, and I shit you not, there is shit in this movie I ain’t never seen before. In fact, there is one scene in particular where I wondered out loud, “Are you ALLOWED to show that in a movie?” I’ve seen NC-17 flicks that don’t even dare to go this hard.
I mean, this is a 20th Century Studios movie we’re talking about. As in, formerly 20th Century Fox. As in, owned by Disney. Somehow, CEO Bob Iger was able to slip that wild ass shit in this movie and get away with it. In an age where everyone bitches about CEO salaries, I must play the contrarian and say, “PAY THAT MAN HIS MONEY!” He earned that shit.
Oh, and since this is a Disney movie, does that make Nell Tiger Free, the hot pregnant nun, a new Disney princess? I sure as shit hope so. I wanna get a photo of her and I at Cinderella’s castle next time I’m at Disney World.
Free is incredible in this movie. I thought Sydney Sweeney was a lock for “Best Actress in a Hot Pregnant Nun Movie” after her turn in Immaculate, but lo and behold, here comes Free to unseat her. Remember when I compared the flick to Possession? Well, she comes damn close to matching Isabelle Adjani when it comes to cavorting around with demons and undulating uncontrollably. Folks, praise doesn’t come much higher than that.
If you don’t want to be grossed out, don’t see this movie. Theater patrons with weak constitutions headed for the exit at my screening long before the credits rolled. The only other movies I can think of where that happened were House of 1000 Corpses and The Green Inferno. That puts The First Omen in some elite company, if you ask me.
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