Tuesday, May 8, 2018

A GRIL NAMED IRON PHOENIX (1973) **


I've never known a gril named Iron Phoenix, but I did have a grill named George Foreman once.  I know, I know, the title should be A Girl Named Iron Phoenix, but I'm a stickler for calling a movie by what it says in the title credits, even if it is misspelled.  Unfortunately, the misspelled title is the most memorable thing about it.

Dock workers have been dying on the job while the company collects on the insurance money.  Iron Phoenix is sent in to investigate and uncovers a dastardly plot by the local Mob.  The big-time gangster behind it all then sends in The Four Tigers to silence her once and for all.

Things get off to a groovy start with lots of funky music, bad dubbing, and a handful of energetic fight scenes.  We also get a funny moment when Iron Phoenix catches a thief who uses chopsticks to steal money from people’s wallets.  However, once she follows him back to his “master” (a homeless Kung Fu beggar), the movie starts to fall apart.  

Look, if you’re going to call your film A Gril Named Iron Phoenix, make sure it’s going to be about the girl named Iron Phoenix.  Don’t all of a sudden make it a buddy comedy about a homeless Kung Fu master and his annoying pupil.  Let your feisty and likeable heroine fight her own battles instead of the painfully unfunny comic relief.  Don’t keep her on the sidelines watching the action.  Allow her to participate.  Even if Iron Phoenix’s role wasn’t marginalized, I’m not sure it would’ve saved the movie.  One thing is for sure, the short running time (77 minutes) doesn’t hurt.

AKA:  A Girl Named Iron Phoenix.  AKA:  A Girl Called Iron Phoenix.

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