I've
never known a gril named Iron Phoenix, but I did have a grill named George Foreman
once. I know, I know, the title should
be A Girl Named Iron Phoenix, but I'm a stickler for calling a movie by what it
says in the title credits, even if it is misspelled. Unfortunately, the misspelled title is the
most memorable thing about it.
Dock workers have been dying on the job while the company collects on the
insurance money. Iron Phoenix is sent in
to investigate and uncovers a dastardly plot by the local Mob. The big-time gangster behind it all then
sends in The Four Tigers to silence her once and for all.
Things
get off to a groovy start with lots of funky music, bad dubbing, and a handful
of energetic fight scenes. We also get a
funny moment when Iron Phoenix catches a thief who uses chopsticks to steal
money from people’s wallets. However, once
she follows him back to his “master” (a homeless Kung Fu beggar), the movie
starts to fall apart.
Look,
if you’re going to call your film A Gril Named Iron Phoenix, make sure it’s going
to be about the girl named Iron Phoenix.
Don’t all of a sudden make it a buddy comedy about a homeless Kung Fu
master and his annoying pupil. Let your
feisty and likeable heroine fight her own battles instead of the painfully
unfunny comic relief. Don’t keep her on
the sidelines watching the action. Allow
her to participate. Even if Iron Phoenix’s
role wasn’t marginalized, I’m not sure it would’ve saved the movie. One thing is for sure, the short running time
(77 minutes) doesn’t hurt.
AKA: A Girl Named Iron Phoenix. AKA: A
Girl Called Iron Phoenix.
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