SHOW DOGS (2018) * ½

As the parent of an eight-year-old, I'm sort of a connoisseur of bad talking animal movies.  As far as these things go, Show Dogs isn't quite as bad as the nadir of the genre, Super Buddies, which is a blessing.  It’s not quite as annoying and unbearable as Nine Lives either.  My daughter ate it up, which is what really mattered.  All I’ll say is, thank God for MoviePass.  

Will Arnett stars as an FBI agent who gets teamed up with a dog cop named Max (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges).  Naturally, they’re a mismatched pair who are forced to work together to complete an assignment.  They go undercover at a Vegas dog show to take down a ring of animal smugglers.  Since Max is gruff and disobedient, it’s up to a former award winning French papillon (Stanley Tucci) to show him the ropes of being a show dog.

Show Dogs is the kind of movie that spoon feeds its jokes to the audience.  I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise any adult viewer that the film makes numerous Turner and Hooch references since they’re both about a cop and his dog partner.  However, it has to gratuitously explain that Hooch was the dog because the target audience is too young to remember.  (It must be noted that there’s not one mention of K-9.)

Would it surprise you that Show Dogs was directed by Raja Gosnell, who also gave us Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo 2, and Beverly Hills Chihuahua?  Probably not.  The man’s made the same movie four times and he still hasn’t gotten it right. 

One thing that makes Show Dogs almost tolerable is the major plot point that revolves around Max’s ability to be groped by the judges.  This all leads to Arnett and the dog recreating a scene from Dirty Dancing.  As bad as the movie is, you have to respect a film that makes you question if you’ve just been dosed with a high-grade hallucinogenic.  

The Hal Needham-esque end credits are the best part, and not just because it means the movie is almost over.  The outtakes of the dog actors flubbing their lines are good for a laugh or two.  All this does is make you wonder if the documentary about the making of Show Dogs would be better than the film itself.