ASSASSIN’S BULLET (2012) * ½

In between directing Scott Adkins actioners, Isaac Florentine found time to make this boring Bulgarian-lensed espionage thriller.  It’s not very good, but it is interesting to see the trio of leading men, all of whom possess vastly different acting styles, populating a DTV flick.  Although none of them had an ice cube’s chance in Hell of salvaging the sluggishly paced snoozer, I’m still glad they at least got a paycheck out of all this.

First, we have Christian Slater who plays a former FBI agent who works at the American embassy in Bulgaria.  Donald Sutherland is the ambassador who wants to put Slater’s investigative talents to good use to find the vigilante who’s been assassinating some VIP’s.  Then there’s Timothy Spall, who plays Slater’s buddy who smokes a hookah, ogles belly dancers, and helps dole out the massive amounts of exposition.  While out clubbing, Spall helps Slater get out a lot of his pent-up Dead Wife exposition, and when Elika Portnoy is on his therapist’s couch, she gets to spout a bunch of Hypnosis May Help Me Remember My Secret Past exposition.  These big chunks of exposition aren’t especially involving and help to bring the film to a dead halt on more than one occasion.

The plot at hand is pretty weak too, and the twists are painfully predictable (and sometimes downright corny).  Florentine does his darnedest to dress it up the best he can.  He tries to cut dialogue scenes like fight sequences with a lot of camera movement and frequent edits.  Too bad that neither he nor the actors can make you give a rat’s ass about their characters or their various plights.  Also, what little action we do get is far from Florentine’s best work.  The fight scene and shootout that caps the movie is OK, but it comes up a day late and a dollar short.

Look, I like Florentine as an action director, and I admire his attempt to try something a little outside of his wheelhouse.  Ultimately, that’s all it is:  An attempt.  Other than the fact that the three leads delivered strong performances, Assassin’s Bullet is a complete misfire.

AKA:  Sofia.