Wednesday, September 22, 2021

DYNASTY (1977) ****

Exploitation legend Michael (The Touch of Her Flesh) Findlay was responsible for the 3-D effects for this Hong Kong/Taiwan co-production.  Sadly, he died in a helicopter accident while he was on his way to show potential investors his newly patented 3-D tech, just months before the movie was released.  Who knows what Findlay could’ve achieved if it hadn’t been for his untimely demise.  If the 3-D in Dynasty is any indication, he could’ve revolutionized the industry.  This is quite simply some of the best 3-D of all time.   

An evil warlord is out to murder a prince living in a monastery.  When he slaughters the prince’s Kung Fu master, he swears revenge.  Armed with only an umbrella, he sets out to murder the warlord’s generals one by one, working his way up the ranks.   

Usually whenever I review a 3-D movie, I keep a running tab of all the 3-D effects that poke out at the screen.  If I did that with Dynasty, I would be here all fucking day.  More stuff comes lunging out at the audience in the first ten minutes of this flick than a dozen full-length 3-D films combined.  Swords, arrows, spears, coins, branches, sticks, and more come jutting out at the audience at various speeds.  The villain’s Freddy Krueger glove also comes out quite a bit.  Seriously, don’t blink in the first half-hour of the movie because you’re liable to miss a 3-D effect.  I must’ve cackled, fist-pumped, and said, “WOW” and/or “HOLY SHIT” at least thirty times during a 3-D effect.  The depth-of-field effects are also quite beautiful as the composition of the shots are carefully laid out to make the best usage of the technology.     

The 3-D comes so fast and furious that you might kind of forget about the plot, which moves along almost as speedy.  Little plot tidbits like the Kung Fu master headbutting the warlord so hard that he forgets how to use his secret ability for exactly a week are just flat-out hilarious.  In fact, the plot moves so fast that you might not catch the implication that the villain and his new henchman are sleeping together.  If there is a flaw, it’s that the effects get a little sparse as the film is coming down the homestretch, but then again, you can say that about just about any 3-D movie. 

The gore is pretty great too, even if it’s not especially bloody.  The scene where the bad guy scalps his enemy and tosses it at the audience is particularly badass.  I also loved the scene where our hero cuts off a general’s hands and the general KEEPS on fighting!  The standout sequence is when our hero is ambushed by some ruffians carrying flying guillotines.  When a few Good Samaritans try to step in and help, they are promptly decapitated for their troubles.  The 3-D effects in this sequence are jaw-dropping.  

And who can resist the badass dialogue?  When the general asks our hero what he wants, he responds with, “YOUR LIFE!” 

This is a must-own for 3-D aficionados.  Kudos to Kino Lorber for including a blue/red anaglyph version of the film.  I sincerely hope they go back and reissue their old 3-D releases in this format since 3-D TVs are just about obsolete nowadays.  I for one would buy them all. 

AKA:  Chase After a Thousand Knives.  AKA:  Super Dragon.  AKA:  Ming Dynasty.

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