BILL AND TED FACE THE MUSIC (2020) **

Well, it’s been nearly thirty years, but Bill and Ted are finally back.  Sadly, it is not the most triumphant return I was hoping for.  While it is fun to see Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves back in the roles again, their charm can only carry this hollow and unfunny belated sequel so far.  

The film starts off with a kernel of a good idea.  It’s been thirty years, and somehow Bill and Ted have failed to write the song that will save humanity as we know it.  For whatever reason, that kernel refuses to pop.  Bill and Ted Face the Music could’ve been a fun meditation on growing old, suffering a mid-life crisis, or the inability to claim one’s destiny.  Instead, the filmmakers lazily choose to rehash the first two flicks and Krazy Glue it all together.  Much like Bill and Ted waiting till the last minute to pull a song out of their ass to save the world, the screenwriters waited thirty years to pull the script out of their ass to make the movie.  

Perplexed that they haven’t written their epic song yet, Bill and Ted hop into their time-traveling phone booth to confront their future selves.  Meanwhile, their daughters (Samara Weaving and Brigette Lundy-Paine) go back in time to recruit several historical musicians to make a killer backing band for whenever the Hell Bill and Ted finish their song.  Speaking of Hell, Death (William Sadler) once again makes an appearance to remind everybody how great Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey was, but they forget to give him anything worthwhile to do.  It’s also a sore reminder what a lifeless (and unfunny) retread this is.  

Like I said, there was a solid idea on the outset.  I just can’t believe they waited thirty years, and this is all they came up with.  It feels more like a first draft than a polished screenplay.  The plot flows from A to B, big stars make obligatory cameos, and there are callbacks galore to the other films.  However, there are zero laughs to be had, and whatever goodwill we have towards these characters wears out its welcome long before they step into the phone booth again.  The big “twist” at the end is obvious from the get-go too.  Again, it wouldn’t matter if it was funny, but there’s surprisingly little heart or fun to be found.  Bogus!