THE MEATEATER (1979) **

Mitford (Peter Spitzer) is a family man who retires from his swell paying gig selling shoes to open a rundown old movie theater with his family.  Opening night does not go well.  The projectionist is electrocuted, and a dead body is found hanging behind the screen.  Despite that little hiccup, our hero is still determined to keep the theater open.  Unfortunately, there is a crazy old man (Arch Joboulian) who’s obsessed with Jean Harlow lurking about the premises.  He starts offing more people and eventually sets his sights on Mitford’s daughter (who is a dead ringer for Harlow) as his next victim.

Let’s get this out of the way.  I don’t know why the heck this is called The Meateater.  I mean the old guy chows down on a rat in the opening scene, but that’s about it.  So, if you go into this one thinking it’s going to be about cannibalism or something, you’re going to be massively disappointed.  

Sure, there are some long, dull stretches, but The Meateater has a weird energy only a late ‘70s homegrown horror production can offer.  There are a couple of fun bits (like the electrocution scene) and Z movie touches (the detective’s mustache disappears midway through) to ensure it’s not a total waste.  I especially dug the fact that the family books a nature documentary about a jungle safari as their first feature.  They advertise it as a “wholesome movie”, but it contains a scene of animals humping.  

These moments only crop up sporadically, so I can’t quite recommend it.  However, this is one of those movies that’s more fun to think about in retrospect.  I was kind of restless while watching it, but I found myself smiling a lot while writing the review.  The pacing is erratic, and the finale is weak, which didn’t help.  At least there’s some decent gore in the final minutes.  

The dialogue is good for some chuckles too.  I liked it when the detective gets his inept partner to cut the corpse down from the rafters.  When its head pops off, he yells, “Be careful!  That used to be a human being!”  Mitford’s wife gets the best line of the movie while cleaning up the theater:  “There’s pigeon B.M. everywhere!”

AKA:  Blood Theater.