LET’S GET PHYSICAL: BIKINI PLANET (2002) **

FORMAT:  DVD

It’s easy to see why this movie was paired with Voyage to the Planet of Teenage Cavewomen as part of a DVD double feature.  Both movies are ‘50s Sci-Fi spoofs about astronauts visiting two planets that have fused together.  Only in this one, the two planets are made to look like a pair of giant tits, and instead of a planet populated by cavewomen, it’s a planet full of sexy babes in bikinis.  Bikini Planet isn’t nearly as successful as Voyage though, despite the benefit of having a few familiar faces in the cast.  (And by “familiar faces”, I mean Conrad Brooks from Plan 9 from Outer Space plays the Vice President.)

Although the movie tries to replicate the look of the old ‘50s Sci-Fi flicks, it all feels kind of halfhearted.  The interiors of the rocket ship look like something from the old space operas (the astronauts sit in office chairs), but the exteriors are done using cheap looking CGI.  Had the filmmakers used a simple spaceship model, it would’ve felt a lot more authentic.  The crappy CGI asteroid effects look awful too.  No matter how bad practical effects look, they are always preferable to computerized ones, especially for a spoof like this. 

It does have a neat gimmick where it’s black and white during the spaceship scenes but switches over to color once the astronauts arrive on the planet.  I also liked the explanation as to why all the women on the planet had big boobs.  (The atmosphere has a high concentration of silicone.)  Stephanie Beaton (a veteran of many Witchcraft sequels) is also pretty good as the sexy bikini princess. 

The big problem is that the alien babes never slip out of their bikinis.  A little T & A would’ve gone a long way to salvage much of the dumb humor.  It also doesn’t help that the sex scenes are only there for comedic effect.  Naturally, they aren’t very funny (or sexy).  There are also lots of jokes about Beanie Babies and one character is supposed to be a spoof of Monica Lewinsky (played by porn star Jacklyn Lick), which really makes it feel dated.  We do get a couple of alien bikini pool party scenes, although it just looks like the director just shot footage of the wrap party and put it into the movie.