A group of friends sit around a bar and tell a reporter stories of how they used to help their Casanova wannabe pal Luther Lucas (Angus Duncan) score with chicks. One says she’s Greta Garbo to lure a prospective plaything to a dinner party. Another gets him set up as a patient of a sexy TV doctor (named “Dr. Sisters”). Other schemes involve our hero pretending to be gay, posing as an artist, and seducing his uptight secretary who is helping him write a book about his exploits.
Most of the ploys to land women in bed are sub-sitcom types of scenarios. Many of them are dire and unfunny, especially the one where Luther pretends to be gay. Maybe they would’ve been bearable if the segments ran about ten minutes or so, but each one clocks in at about twenty or twenty-five, and they all feel twice that length. That’s the biggest crime with How to Succeed with Women, the over length. It’s a dreary one-hundred-and-eight minutes, and it doesn’t even have one and a half laughs.
It’s also never made clear why our hero’s friends help him in his quest to ensnare unsuspecting dates. I mean, it’s obvious he needs all the help he can get as he has zero rizz. It’s just a mystery why everyone in his inner circle devotes so much of their free time to getting this jackass laid. The framing device is really unnecessary too and only adds to the film’s already ungodly running time. (The gratuitous “twist” ending also stretches things out even further.)
This might’ve been watchable had they upped the skin quotient, but we have to wait over an hour before we get to the T & A. Alexandra Hay briefly disrobes as his artist’s model, and Angel Tompkins has a few nip slips as his virginal secretary. However, this is a mere drop in the entertainment bucket, and it’s a long time coming.
In short, How to Seduce a Woman will fail to seduce anyone other than die-hard fans of Tompkins.
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