WHITE LOTUS TRIO (1989) **

Three knuckleheads rob some gangsters in an attempt to support their very pregnant wives.  The triads find out they’ve been ripped off and murder the husbands in cold blood.  The wives then vow that their unborn children will avenge their fathers’ deaths.  Eighteen years later, they reunite and set out to do just that.

White Lotus Trio offers up an odd mix of comedy that isn’t very funny and action that is rather lackluster.  I guess there is one memorable scene in which a woman tries to suffocate a guy with her bosom.  Since she’s nowhere near as busty as Chesty Morgan, the guy was never in any danger.  The subtitles are a constant source of amusement though as the dialogue is often misspelled and/or mistranslated.  (For instance, the word “whip” is replaced with “wipe”.)  Or in some cases, the dialogue just don’t make any sense.  (“Are you a dump?")  

This isn’t really much to hang an entire movie around, I’m afraid.  It also takes a long time for the children to finally join forces and go on their quest for revenge.  I did like the scene where one of our heroes prays in front of a Cobra poster though.

Gordon Liu shows up as the detective who’s investigating the deaths of the gangsters.  He’s frankly, wasted as his role is rather small.  Even if the film gave him something worthy of his talents to do, I’m still not sure he could’ve saved it singlehandedly.

AKA:  Avenging Trio.

SHAOLIN QUICK DRAW (1987) **

Like most Joseph Lai productions, this is just two films edited into one.  He took an old movie (Fury of Storm) and added new unrelated footage of Richard Harrison and Stuart Smith as warring Ninjas.  The new stuff is rather hilarious too.  It’s so funny that it makes you wish Lai had gotten rid of Fury of Storm completely and made a flick entirely about Harrison and Smith.

Most of the movie revolves around a guy named Antonio.  We first see him dressed as a priest and dragging an enormous cross along a railroad track.  The train stops for him, but it’s all just a diversion so his buddies can steal a golden statue.  Antonio’s crooked cohorts double-cross him and leave him for dead.  Luckily for him, a Kung Fu expert named Dragon comes along and nurses Antonio back to health, setting the stage for him to try to recover the gold.

The footage from Fury in Storm is ho-hum at best.  Then again, it’s hard to tell, thanks to the haphazard way Lai re-edited it.  The back and forth between Antonio and Dragon is uninvolving, but there’s still enough action here to keep you marginally invested.  Unfortunately, there’s too much of this crap and not enough of Joseph Lai’s nutty Ninja inserts.

The opening is priceless.  Smith gets out of jail and is met by two disciples who kneel before him begging for forgiveness.

Smith:  How many of you are left? 

Ninja #1:  Just us.  

Smith:  Shit!  

Harrison is awkwardly edited in about a half hour into the picture, minus his trademark moustache and wearing a red bandana that says “Ninja” on it.  That is to say, he looks awesome.  He warns Antonio of the Ninjas and… That’s it!  That’s the last we see of him or Smith, for that matter.  Their appearances are fleeting, but thank goodness they were there because without them, Shaolin Quick Draw would’ve been totally forgettable.

AKA:  Ninja Avengers.  AKA:  Ninja Operation 6:  Champion on Fire.  AKA:  Ninja:  Champion on Fire.

TYCOON (1947) * ½

John Wayne stars as a railroad engineer who is blasting out a mountain so the titular tycoon (Sir Cedric Hardwicke) can run his railroad through it.  The snobby tycoon looks down on the hardworking blue-collar Wayne and that feeling is exasperated when Wayne falls in love with his daughter (Laraine Day).  Both men are stubborn to the core and butt heads at every turn.  Things come to a boil when Wayne suggests they stop tunneling in favor of a building a bridge.

If this is starting to sound like Public Works:  The Movie, that probably because that’s exactly what it feels like.

Tycoon was an expensive flop for RKO Pictures and you can see why.  It’s a slow moving and overlong melodrama that features more scenes of people building shit than you’d ever want to see.  It’s hard to tell where all the money went since the model work on the train is so damned phony looking.

Wayne does what he can with the subpar and maudlin material.  Even someone of his stature and charisma can’t breathe any life into the movie as the script never really gives him anything to do besides dig tunnels and bat eyelashes at his leading lady.  Admittedly, there are intermittent sparks between Wayne and Day.  Their scenes are marginally more appealing than the boring drama with Hardwicke and the dull tunneling sequences.  Hardwicke isn’t bad as the stuffy millionaire and Anthony Quinn has some nice moments as his right-hand man, but both men are hamstrung by the weak script.

REUNION IN FRANCE (1942) * ½

Joan Crawford gets separated from her boyfriend Philip Dorn in Paris during WWII.  The Nazis invade, and Joan gets attacked by a mess of stock footage.  The Germans confiscate her house and she finds out her boy toy is in cahoots with the Nazis.  When Joan stumbles upon a wounded American air force pilot (John Wayne), she decides to help him, which could get her into a lot of hot water with her fiancé.

Reunion in France is an unsuccessful melding of melodramatic tearjerker and jingoistic war picture.  Director Jules (Rififi) Dassin does a fine job of giving Crawford plenty of elegantly shot close-ups, but the drama is never captivating and the pacing borders on excruciating.  Crawford is her usual maudlin self, so if you’re one of her die-hard fans, you might find her very appearance reason enough to watch it.

I came to the party to see my boy John Wayne and I was sorely disappointed.  Even though The Duke is second-billed, Wayne doesn't show up until forty minutes into the picture.  He gives the movie a shot in the arm whenever he’s on screen, but frankly, this thing was beyond saving.  There aren’t any sparks between Wayne and Crawford either, which makes things even more unbearable.  The supporting cast, which includes John Carradine, Morris Ankrum, and Henry Daniell, is pretty good though.

The romance stuff is rather insufferable and the plot twist at the end is predictable as all get out.  However, Dassin does give us at least one cool looking shot.  At a Nazi dinner party, he slowly pulls back the camera to reveal that all the tables have been arranged in the shape of a swastika!  If the amount of care that went into the party planning was put into the plot, this might’ve been a winner.

GALLOWWALKERS (2013) **

I have an affinity for horror-western hybrids.  This one certainly had promise.  I mean the prospect of a horror-western starring Wesley Snipes as a cowboy who scours the west gunning down the titular monsters, undead frontier killers who wear the skin of their victims, sounds like a good time.  

It also blatantly steals from spaghetti westerns of the past.  From the weird camera angles to the Morricone-inspired music cues, the film nicely captures that old time feel.  It looks better than your typical Direct to Video actioner, that’s for sure.

Gallowwalkers is odd, uneven, but not altogether uninteresting.  Imagine if Blade went to the Wild West and that might give you an idea of what we’re dealing with.  I’m not saying it’s nearly as good as Blade was, it’s just nice seeing Snipes in a horror setting again.  You wish he was given more to do than ride around the prairie and look grim, but at least there’s enough weirdness here to prevent it from being just another western.

Unfortunately, the mythology revolving around the gallowwalkers themselves is a bit muddy.  “No one knows why” they returned from the dead, which is a bit of a cop-out if you ask me.  At least the film is a lot gorier than expected and there’s plenty of odd moments revolving around skinning people that help to make it memorable.  (In one scene, a henchman begs the main gallowwalker to let him sew on a woman’s lips.)

All of this is more or less entertaining; at least for an hour or so.  Too bad it gets more drab and confusing as it goes along.  The needless flashbacks and clunky narration that try to hold it all together adds to the perplexing narrative.  In fact, they pulled a Steven Seagal on us as they used a guy that sounds like Snipes (but isn’t) as the narrator.  

I guess they had to do what they can.  This film was made right when Snipes was having his legal troubles.  Given the circumstances, I can’t exactly fault them for using a voice double.

The villain gets the best line of the movie when he grabs a preacher and says, “Forgive me, Lord, for I have skinned!”

WALKABOUT (1971) ***

Jenny Agutter and her little brother (Luc Roeg) are abandoned by their father in the Australian outback.  Hopelessly lost, they make their way across the harsh desert landscape.  They cross paths with an Aborigine boy (David Gulpilil) who is out on his “walkabout” (his tribal coming-of-age ritual) who teaches them how to survive in the outback.

On the surface, Walkabout is a tale of survival, but it also acts as mirror of two vastly different societies.  Director Nicolas (Performance) Roeg contrasts the life of the young city folk with that of the Aborigine teen.  When Gulpili is hunting for dinner, spearing kangaroos and lizards, Roeg deftly edits in shots of a butcher cutting up meat for a customer.

It’s a beautiful looking film with the vast landscapes seemingly going on forever.  The shots of animals roaming around and eating each other are a bit reminiscent of Mondo Cane, but Roeg’s eye is unjudgmental and uncynical.  They’re just doing what animals do.  If anything, these shots show just how out of place Agutter and her brother are.

Speaking of Agutter, she is excellent as the sister who is forced to act as mother cub to her brother.  She also spends a lot of the movie naked as a jaybird, which certainly helps.  Though Gulpilil takes notices her (and she notices him too), there is an innocence about the whole thing that makes it sweet.

Walkabout goes on a bit too long and drags in some spots.  I guess any movie that features as much walking as this one is bound to bog down somewhere.  However, it’s still worth watching for the strong performances and the gorgeous cinematography.

IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE (2016) *** ½

Ti (The House of the Devil) West has proven to be one of the more dependable horror directors of the modern era.  What he hasn’t told us is that underneath it all, there’s a damned fine western director trying to get out.  Not only is In a Valley of Violence an important stepping stone in West’s career, it’s also one of the best westerns of the decade.

West’s other films proudly announce themselves as unapologetic genre films right from the opening credits.  In a Valley of Violence is no different.  The title sequence is a loving homage to Sergio Leone’s Dollars Trilogy and it works as a tribute to the genre while at the same time being a wonderful example of it. 

The plot is a bit one-dimensional, but it’s the purity of the set-up that gives the film its drive.  Ethan Hawke rides into a small border town with his dog in tow and is immediately hassled by a big mouth deputy (James Ransone) who goads him into a fight.  Hawke, naturally, knocks him out with one punch.  Since the asshole is the son of the marshal (John Travolta), he goes to pay him a visit.  He can tell right away Hawke isn’t a man to be trifled with, so he asks him nicely to leave town and gives his word his son won’t cause any more trouble.  Predictably, Ransone doesn’t listen and he hunts Hawke down, kills his dog, and leaves him for dead.

I’m sure you can guess what happens next.  Hawke survives and comes back into town seeking revenge.  Yes, this might sound like For a Few John Wicks More, but that is precisely what makes it so awesome.  Both John Wick and In a Valley of Violence are terrific revenge pictures that hit almost identical notes (right down to the fact that the father of the man who murdered the hero’s dog knows his son fucked up, but still stands by his side because they’re blood).  Since they are given different genre settings, they both feel fresh and exciting, even if their plots are simple and straightforward.

Hawke has gone from indie darling to B movie legend in recent years and his performance in this helps to cement his reputation.  He’s even better here than he was in The Magnificent Seven, and I for one hope he stars in more oaters as time goes on.  Karen Gillan is given the thankless job as the bad guy’s fiancée, but she nevertheless is a joy to watch whenever she comes on screen.  Some of Ransone’s dialogue and mannerisms seem a bit too modern day in the western setting, but he nevertheless makes for an intimidating villain.

It’s Travolta though who really crackles.  Although his screen time is limited, he delivers one of his all-time best villain roles.  Walking with a wooden leg, sporting a salt and pepper beard, and almost purring his lines in a smooth southern drawl, Travolta seems to be relishing the opportunity to play a western heavy.  I’d love for him to take on more of these character actor-type of roles because they fit him like a glove.