The prospect of legendary horror stars Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, and John Carradine teaming up for a movie is irresistible. Add to that the fact it’s directed by Pete (House of Whipcord) Walker, produced by Golan-Globus, and (loosely) based on a story by the creator of Charlie Chan, Earl der Biggers, and you have yourself a recipe for fun. Despite the pedigree, House of the Long Shadows still manages to be quite dull.
A best-selling author (Desi Arnaz, Jr.) bets his agent he can write a gothic romance novel in 24 hours. The agent then sets him up in a spooky old house to write the book. One by one, the house is called upon by strange gentlemen who prevent him from getting any work done. Turns out Cushing, Carradine, and Price have returned to the house to finally let their deranged brother out of the attic after forty years. Lee is the new owner of the property who eventually shows up and demands to know what the hell is going on.
It takes a while before the titans of terror finally appear on screen. Till then, it’s mostly a bunch of scenes of Arnaz, Jr. walking down darkened hallways. Even once the stars finally get together, they mostly just stand around and look grumpy. It takes even longer for people to start getting offed. A woman is strangled till her eyeballs pop cartoonishly out, another gets acid in her face, and someone is hacked to death with an axe. The double (cheat) twist ending is kind of obvious too and only adds to the inflated running time.
I’m sure everyone involved thought this was going to be a triumphant return for some of horror’s biggest stars. Sadly, it was not a hit, and it became the last time any of them starred alongside each other. Only Lee seems to be in his A-game as everyone else looks bored or disinterested. Then again, YOU try acting alongside Desi Arnaz, Jr and see how you make out. Leading lady Julie Peasgood isn’t bad though, and sort of resembles a Temu version of Britt Ekland.
AKA: House of Long Shadows.
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