ANOTHER THIN MAN (1939) **

William Powell and Myrna Loy return for their third go-around as married sleuths Nick and Nora Charles.  This time out, in addition to their loyal pooch Asta, they have their newborn baby Nick Jr. along on their adventure.  An old friend invites the couple to his secluded mansion out in the country because he’s paranoid someone is out to get him.  When someone indeed bumps him off, Nick and Nora investigate and try to bring the killer to justice.

The addition of a baby to the plot enriches the characters, making them slightly less of the caricatures they became in the last installment, After the Thin Man.  Rarely in film franchises do we get to see the characters’ lives continue at a realistic progression.  The baby itself is cute enough and the sweet scenes of Asta and the kid give Another Thin Man a different flavor than the previous installments.  Powell and Loy are their usual charming selves, which also helps, even if their banter isn’t as consistently amusing as it has been in the past.

Unfortunately, the story itself is a bit of an old hat.  After a solid start, the film becomes increasingly spotty as it goes along.  As with After the Thin Man, the plot takes a while to unfurl itself (and takes for too long to wrap itself up), suffers from a bloated running time, and there are too many side characters that gum up the works.  On the plus side, those side characters are played by an entertaining supporting cast that includes Virginia Grey, Nat Pendleton, Sheldon Leonard, Marjorie Main, and a memorable bit by an uncredited pre-Stooges Shemp Howard.  

All in all, this isn’t a bad entry.  Fans of the series will enjoy it for Powell and Loy’s continued chemistry.  Ultimately, there’s just too much fat that gets in the way of the mystery (which isn’t all that interesting to begin with).

FALCON RISING (2014) *** ½

Michael Jai White stars as a suicidal former soldier with PTSD and a drinking problem.  When we first see him, he’s playing Russian Roulette with himself.  Pissed that he lost the game, he heads down to the liquor store where the clerk asks him how he is.  White replies, “Same shit.  Different pile.”  Naturally, thieves enter the building brandishing guns, and he foils the robbery; paying for his booze with one of the thief’s money.

This is a strong opening.  So strong that I wondered if the movie was going to shoot its wad early.  One of the joys of Falcon Rising is the tireless way it strives to be just a bit better around every corner than your average DTV action flick.  Director Ernie Barbarash (who’s directed some of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s best recent stuff) keeps things moving at a steady clip and is smart enough to let White carry the fight scenes with his natural athleticism and considerable screen presence. 

The plot revolves around White’s sister (Laila Ali) being brutally assaulted while doing relief work in a favela in Rio.  He goes to visit her in the hospital and there is another attempt on her life soon after.  White then sets out to take the favela apart to find the killer.

One thing that helps set Falcon Rising apart from its contemporaries is its attention to detail.  The supporting characters are incredibly well-rounded and given ample screen time to make a lasting impression.  There’s a young rookie cop named Katarina (Minnie Ruperto) who hands out sodas to the neighborhood on a hot day in an effort to bond with the residents.  Thiago (Jimmy Navarro), the veteran detective scoffs at her attempts to earn the neighborhood’s trust, but even he isn’t above giving a child prostitute money, so her pimp won’t beat her.  This kind of attention to character and their motivations is almost like a novel in its presentation, and it never comes at the expense of White’s journey.  It just adds to the overall richness of the piece.

Let’s face it, you’re not watching Falcon Rising for its rich characters.  You’re watching it to see Michael Jai White kick some ass, and on that score; it’s a resounding success as well.  I particularly loved the fact that White continues to act during his fights.  Sometimes, he beats someone up while carrying an annoyed look on his face, and other times he looks like he’s saying, “Man, this is too easy” while cracking the skulls of inexperienced punks.  Who needs one-liners and wisecracks when his expressive face tells you all you need to know?  (Although he does get plenty of one-liners along the way.)

The fights have a very ‘90s feel to them, and I mean that in the best possible way.  Barbarash films them clearly, edits them coherently, and allows you to see the awesomeness that is Michael Jai White on full display.  White does a number of impressive physical feats during the fight sequences.  My favorite moment was when he jump-kicked one guy while shooting another who’s rushing at him from the exact opposite direction.  The man just knows how to multitask.  The three-on-one finale is also a lot of fun.  (Spoiler:  The three guys are outnumbered.)

Even the action that doesn’t involve White is memorable, like the standoff between Thiago’s men and some street thugs.  He decides to settle the Mexican standoff with a fight between their best fighters.  If the thugs win, they take their drugs and guns and they won’t go to jail.  If the cops win, the gang members won’t resist arrest.  I eat this macho stuff up.

If there is a flaw, it’s that veteran character actor Neal McDonough is somewhat wasted as White’s old army buddy.  He’s a government worker in Brazil who pretty much allows White to roam free in order to exact his revenge.  At least he figures into the set-up for the sequel at the end.  I for one hope White and McDonough return as soon as possible as Falcon Rising is one of the best DTV action flicks I’ve seen in some time.

AKA:  Favela.

X-RATED 2: THE GREATEST ADULT STARS OF ALL TIME! (2016) ***

This sequel to X-Rated:  The Greatest Adult Movies of All Time shifts its focus from classic XXX movies to some of the most famous porn stars to ever grace the silver screen.  Hosted by Mr. Skin, it is slavish to formula, breaking down the retrospectives on its subjects into several sections.  There are segments on superstars, legends, trailblazers, and alternative icons, among others.

Many of your favorite starlets are interviewed, including Christy Canyon (who still looks great), Tera Patrick (who sadly remains firmly retired), Seka (seen in clips from her best movies like Prisoner of Paradise and Inside Seka), Jesse Jane (someone calls her “porn Barbie”), and Nina Hartley (who is lauded for not only her longevity and timeless sexiness, but for her tireless role in sex education).  There’s even a segment focused on the male actors such as Lexington Steele (who seems down to earth and grateful) and Rocco Siffredi (who says, “Woman.  You just don’t fuck them with the dick.  You need to fuck them in the brain!”)  Probably the most interesting segment is the one focused on the stars best known for their acting, like John Leslie (probably the best male actor in porn), Veronica Hart (so good that her XXX films could be re-edited into “real” movies), Jamie Gillis (whose amazing screen presence and ability to embrace his perverted side made him a favorite), Annette Haven (who fought for women to portray their sexuality without being degraded), and Richard Pacheco (famous for winning Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor in the same year at the AVN Awards).

For someone who prides himself as a porn historian, I was shocked that there were a few people featured I’ve never heard of, like Tori Black (who nevertheless looks great in a Catwoman suit), Misty Stone, and Asia Akira.  I can think of plenty of other stars who should’ve been covered besides them, including Amber Lynn, Janine, Chasey Lain, Traci Lords, Georgina Spelvin, and Linda Lovelace.  The filmmakers acknowledge that they’ve left far too many people out during the wrap-up segment, so maybe they’ll be featured in another sequel.

It was also fun seeing Kylie Ireland appearing in clips from Judge Judy.  I also appreciated the fact that lots of screen time was devoted to Marilyn Chambers’ Insatiable (which I prefer to Behind the Green Door).  The best segment though belongs to Vanessa Del Rio, the first Latina superstar of porn.  It’s a real eye-opener.  Not only was she the highest paid actress in the early days, she also was a pioneer of double-penetration whose enormous clitoris was a product of excessive steroid use in her bodybuilding days!  She could easily have a feature-length documentary devoted to her.

There’s even a segment on porn stars crossing over into the mainstream.  Not only are there sections devoted to Ginger Lynn, Sasha Grey, and Ron Jeremy, their mainstream directors Rob Zombie, Steven Soderbergh, and Adam Rifkin are interviewed as well.  I was a little surprised that the part about John Holmes was so short (given his giant member), but honestly, his story has been explored in more detail in countless other documentaries.

In the end, they crown Jenna Jameson as number one star of all time.  I guess I can’t argue with that too much, even though I was always a Ginger Lynn fan myself.  (Though in my heart of hearts, the title probably should’ve went to Marilyn Chambers.)

X-Rated 2 works very well as a fast-paced historical sketch of some of the famous faces (and bodies) in porn.  If it does have a flaw, it’s that it sometimes it feels rushed, as if it’s merely scratching the surface on its subjects.  (Maybe if they chose half the number of stars and devoted twice the amount of screen time to them, it would’ve been a classic.)  Still, there are enough interesting stories and revealing interviews to make for an absorbing and enlightening experience.  

TEXAS LIGHTNING (1981) **

The first ten minutes of Texas Lightning has more scenes of disgusting fat guys in their underwear going about their daily morning routine than the sane mind can catalogue.  Did we really need to see the greasy looking lard ass fella removing his dentures and then meticulously brushing them?  I know what you’re about to say.  “Mitch!  At least this guy has hygiene!”  That may be true, but then he goes ahead and promptly drops and breaks his upper plate, causing him to spend the rest of the movie lisping and flashing a creepy toothless grin.  Also, that scene where Peter Jason sits at the breakfast table in his BVDs eating cereal was a bit much.

This is offset somewhat by the stellar sequences in which Cameron Mitchell chews the scenery like only he can.  I especially liked the scenes where he flips out on his wife for turning their grown son (played by Cameron Mitchell, Jr.) into such a mama’s boy.  Seeing him spike his morning coffee with booze while screaming, “You sissified him!  You mollycoddled him!” sort of takes the sting out of seeing the grotesquely husky rednecks walking around in their skivvies.  (The country song on the soundtrack “Don’t Let Your Cowboys Grow Up to Be Babies” acts as a stirring Greek Chorus later on in the film.)

Anyway, Cameron and some friends take his sensitive son hunting to “make a man out of him”.  The scenes of Mitchell and the guys shooting at rabbits and swilling beer quickly get repetitive and boring.  Like everything else in the movie, it seems like director Gary Graver used every single bit of film he had and let the scenes run on as long as possible in order to get a ninety-minute running time.  

If you can trudge your way through, you’ll be treated to a pretty good wet T-shirt contest.  This scene is novel in that the contestants all dunk their breasts in a tub of ice water (kind of like they’re bobbing for apples, or should I say BOOBING for apples).  It gets to a point where the women just forgo the water all together and just flash the audience, which is great news for water conservationists everywhere.  It’s also awesome because porn star Lisa De Leeuw is the winner.

It’s here where Cameron and the boys take his son to knock back a couple of cold ones.  It takes him no time at all to become smitten with none other than… MARCIA BRADY!!!  What’s a nice girl like her doing in a place like this?  (Or to be more to a point, a movie like this.)  Since things bog down whenever Cameron Mitchell isn’t front and center chewing the scenery, the long honkytonk sequence where his son tries to woo Marcia while rednecks get into bar fights is a bit of a chore to sit through.

Mitchell, Jr. and Marcia eventually get it on in a nearby motel.  Since his dad and his redneck friends struck out at the bar, they return to the motel and gang rape Marcia.  While out hunting the next day, Mitchell, Jr. snaps, pulls a gun on his dad’s friends and turns the tables on them.  He then makes his way back to the honkytonk just long enough to see Marcia croon a terrible love song, apologize, and possibly start a life together.

If all this happened to poor Marcia, I wonder what ever became of Jan.

Man, Texas Lightning is one skuzzy, downbeat, and depressing movie.  Apparently, Graver went even further with the depressing bits and the financiers made him add more comedy into the mix.  I assure you, I could not find any humor contained whatsoever.  I did get a kick out of Cameron Mitchell’s hysterical histrionic hijinks.  That alone is worth Two Stars in my book. 

DRINKING BUDDIES (2013) ***

Drinking Buddies is a mostly improvised micro-budgeted comedy-drama set in the microbrewing industry.  Because of the setting, I feared director Joe Swanberg was going to populate the film with a bunch of bearded hipsters going on and on about hops.  Really though, it could’ve taken place anywhere as the characters are all three-dimensional, flawed, and likeable.

Olivia Wilde does publicity for a small independent brewery.  She and her boyfriend (Ron Livingston) go for a camping weekend with her co-worker (Jake Johnson) and his girlfriend (Anna Kendrick) and it becomes obvious that they are clearly more into each other’s mates than their own.  When Wilde and Johnson are left to their own devices for a week, he tests the waters to see if she’s interested in taking things to the next level.

Drinking Buddies is full of finely drawn performances and the natural dialogue rings true quite often.  It asks a lot of intriguing questions too.  Like, if someone is a better match for you than your mate, should you take a chance with them?  Should you risk screwing up a work relationship by getting romantic with them?  I think it’s easy to get crushes on a co-worker.  After all, you spend eight hours a day with them and get to know them rather well in a short span of time.  Drinking Buddies sort of acts as a cautionary tale of acting on those impulses.

Swanberg is mostly on my radar because of his great performance as the asshole in You’re Next.  That film's director, Ti West returns the favor here playing an unlikeable douchebag.  I’ve only seen a few of the movies Swanberg’s directed, but this is by far my favorite.  It’s small in scope, and a little on the slight side.  However, because it’s full of fine actors and actresses playing characters we ultimately like and care about, it totally wins you over, and even manages to sneak up on you emotionally as it nears its conclusion.

DEATH WATCH (1982) ½ *

Romy Schneider stars as a woman slowly dying from a mysterious illness.  Harvey Keitel is a cameraman who gets a camera implanted in his eye and accepts the job of watching her die.  The footage is then broadcast to the masses and is a rating bonanza.

Which begs the question:  Would watching people slowly wasting away be considered must-see TV?  I mean what do the networks do for sweeps week?  Show footage of people sitting in the waiting room at the dentist?

With Death Watch, director Bertrand Tavernier anticipated the advent of reality TV.  That’s about the only thing he got right.  This is one tedious, slow moving, and heavy-handed movie.  He takes a semi-fantastic premise and does fuck-all with it.  While the set-up is admittedly intriguing, Tavernier’s lethargic pacing, coupled with a narrative curiously lacking in urgency is a recipe for one long, boring slog of a film.  

There’s a plot turn late in the game that involves Keitel going blind, which makes him unable to broadcast Schneider’s death.  The movie’s so bad that you almost wish YOU went blind shortly after the opening credits.  The other twist that occurs early in the third act is also predictable.  If it ended right then and there, it might’ve skated by with a One Star rating.  However, it keeps plugging along needlessly for another half-hour or so, adding to an already restless experience. 

Keitel is sorely miscast as the cameraman.  There’s one scene where he Keitels out while looking for a flashlight, but for the most part he barely registers.  There’s also zero chemistry between he and Schneider, which doesn’t help.  Her character grates on your nerves almost instantly and she does little to gain your sympathy. 

It’s hard to tell how all this played before reality TV was a thing.  One thing is for sure:  I’d rather watch that Kardashian crap or Survivor than ever see this again. The only bright spot is Harry Dean Stanton as an unscrupulous TV exec, but even his talents are frustratingly wasted in this dull, exasperating mess. 

AKA:  Death in Full View.

ESCAPE PLAN 2: HADES (2018) **

Escape Plan was a severely underrated latter-day Sylvester Stallone vehicle that not only gave us a proper Schwarzenegger and Stallone team-up but featured some of the duo’s best acting in years.  Because of that, I was excited when this sequel was announced.  Even though it went DTV without the benefit of Arnold, it does boast the participation of Dave Bautista.  Unfortunately, this Escape Plan is an undercooked and limp follow-up.  

Sly once again stars as “security expert” Ray Breslin.  When his team tries to extract a hostage, the plan goes south, and she winds up dead.  (“You trusted a computer more than your team and someone died!”)  Ray’s team member, Shu (Huang Xiaoming) becomes disillusioned after the incident and walks away from the business.  One year later, he gets arrested and is sent to a top-secret state of the art prison in which prisoners get into kickboxing matches in exchange for virtual reality seclusion.  It’s then up to Ray and the rest of his team to bust him out.

Even though Sly is given a reduced amount of screen time, he still equips himself nicely.  He doesn’t phone it in and his performance is easily the best thing about the movie.  For a good chunk of the running time, he appears as the voice inside Xiaoming’s head as he recalls Sly’s teachings in order to escape.  It’s a good way to make his presence felt, even if his screen time is scattershot.  

Bautista gets even less screen time, sadly.  He only shows up about every twenty minutes or so, which will definitely leave many fans wanting more.  He does get a good moment where he intimidates someone not with his muscles, but by quickly solving a Rubik’s Cube.  Unfortunately, these little moments of invention are fleeting.

Stallone and Bautista were also together in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 but didn’t have any screen time together.  Escape Plan 2 fixes that glaring error somewhat, even if the finished product is a misfire.  They do have a decent amount of chemistry together, enough to make you wish their next pairing will be in something a bit more reputable.  

50 Cent returns from the first film as Sly’s right-hand man, even if he isn’t particularly utilized all that well.  Jaimie King (who was also in director Steven C. Miller’s Silent Night) is similarly given little to do as another of Sly’s team members.  Titus Welliver is also wasted in the thinly written role of the warden.

As a fan of some of director Steven C. Miller’s DTV output, I had high hopes for this one.  There are a few weird moments here, like the robot nurses and the trio of bald, albino computer hackers, but not nearly enough to squeeze this one into the win column.  The action is also mediocre, and Stallone’s few fights and/or shootouts are underwhelming and forgettable.  It also doesn’t help that the CGI squibs, explosions, and muzzle flashes are incredibly cheap looking.

Also, it takes a good hour before Sly even gets sent to prison.  After that, he pretty much immediately figures out how to escape, which doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for suspense.  The gratuitous set-up for a sequel (which was filmed back to back with this) doesn’t hold a lot of promise either.