DEATH WATCH (1982) ½ *

Romy Schneider stars as a woman slowly dying from a mysterious illness.  Harvey Keitel is a cameraman who gets a camera implanted in his eye and accepts the job of watching her die.  The footage is then broadcast to the masses and is a rating bonanza.

Which begs the question:  Would watching people slowly wasting away be considered must-see TV?  I mean what do the networks do for sweeps week?  Show footage of people sitting in the waiting room at the dentist?

With Death Watch, director Bertrand Tavernier anticipated the advent of reality TV.  That’s about the only thing he got right.  This is one tedious, slow moving, and heavy-handed movie.  He takes a semi-fantastic premise and does fuck-all with it.  While the set-up is admittedly intriguing, Tavernier’s lethargic pacing, coupled with a narrative curiously lacking in urgency is a recipe for one long, boring slog of a film.  

There’s a plot turn late in the game that involves Keitel going blind, which makes him unable to broadcast Schneider’s death.  The movie’s so bad that you almost wish YOU went blind shortly after the opening credits.  The other twist that occurs early in the third act is also predictable.  If it ended right then and there, it might’ve skated by with a One Star rating.  However, it keeps plugging along needlessly for another half-hour or so, adding to an already restless experience. 

Keitel is sorely miscast as the cameraman.  There’s one scene where he Keitels out while looking for a flashlight, but for the most part he barely registers.  There’s also zero chemistry between he and Schneider, which doesn’t help.  Her character grates on your nerves almost instantly and she does little to gain your sympathy. 

It’s hard to tell how all this played before reality TV was a thing.  One thing is for sure:  I’d rather watch that Kardashian crap or Survivor than ever see this again. The only bright spot is Harry Dean Stanton as an unscrupulous TV exec, but even his talents are frustratingly wasted in this dull, exasperating mess. 

AKA:  Death in Full View.