THE BLACK KLANSMAN (1966) ** ½

Ted V. Mikels is probably best known for his nutty sci-fi cult classic The Astro-Zombies.  I recently got to check out parts 3 and 4 of the franchise and was mildly amused, so I'm trying to fill in some of the gaps in my Ted V. Mikels filmography.  I remember when Spike Lee’s Black Klansman came out, all I could think of was… Is he really remaking a Ted V. Mikels movie?  As it turns out, I don’t think they really have anything to do with each other. 

In the south, a newspaper claims, “Civil Rights Act Passed!”  A young black man thinks that’s his cue to go and sit down in an all-white diner.  That stunt winds up getting him murdered by the KKK.  Later, they kill a little girl outside of a black church.  Her father, an LA jazz musician named Jerry (Richard Gilden) is overcome with grief and returns home.  He’s light-skinned enough to pass for white and decides to infiltrate the Klan and get revenge (which naturally includes getting it on with the Klan leader’s sexy daughter).

One thing you notice about The Black Klansman is that it looks great.  Mikels was always his own cinematographer, and no matter what you might think of his films, the cinematography is often excellent.  This is no exception.  Mikels usually liked to use eye-popping color, but the black and white cinematography in The Black Klansman looks slick.  

This is by far the most serious Mikels movie I’ve seen.  Other than the title and ad campaign there’s nothing really sensational or exploitative about the film.  I guess you could say using black characters as heroic leading men could be seen as a precursor to the Blaxploitation movement as this was released a good five years before Shaft.

What’s surprising is Mikels’ frankness while tackling the subject of race in the south in the ‘60s.  We see members of the black community butting heads with the corrupt racist white officials, interracial relationships, and the everyday hatred African-Americans faced in the south.  All of this is handled with a degree of thoughtfulness.  While the movie may have its share of problems, earnestness is not one of them.  

Speaking of those problems, the acting is a little amateurish, which unfortunately undercuts some of the message.  Gilden (who it must be said, isn’t black), who has a bit of a John Agar quality about him, is an OK leading man.  The other performers range from wooden to overwrought.    

Like the majority of Mikels’ films, there are way too many supporting characters and needless subplots that get in the way of the central drama.  The further the movie gets away from Gilden’s quest for revenge, the less successful it becomes.  After a compelling set-up, the plot flounders once Max (The Mack) Julien is introduced as a black power organizer who helps to bust up the Klan’s rally.   

Warts and all, The Black Klansman is still worth a look as a curio piece.  Ultimately, it’s more interesting for what it tries to do than for what it actually accomplishes.  It would make an good double feature with Roger Corman’s The Intruder as both films are from exploitation filmmakers tackling serious and timely subject matter (which unfortunately is still timely today) about race relations in the south.

AKA:  I Crossed the Color Line.  AKA:  I Crossed the Line.  AKA:  Brutes.

PSYCHO BETTYS FROM PLANET PUSSYCAT (2011) **

Psycho Bettys from Planet Pussycat is a lot like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  By that, I mean it’s a musical that usurps old Sci-Fi movie tropes and turns them on their ear to make a statement about changing contemporary mores.  That’s the only reason they’re similar.  I can’t imagine anyone dressing up like the characters from this flick at midnight and singing along with the songs.  

Four alien women named Betty live on a planet with no men.  They are sent to Earth by their queen to find breeding stock and land in Albuquerque in a spaceship disguised as a Honda Fit.  The leader, Betty Hou (Katy Houska) goes around picking up men in bars and luring them into an alley where she cuts off their gonads.  (She keeps them preserved in the freezer for the return trip home.)  Meanwhile, the other Bettys wind up falling in love with a trio of nerdy losers.  Complications arise when the Bettys become pregnant.

As far as the songs go, I’ve heard worse.  They’re mostly bland and unmemorable but I did like the song Betty Hou sings in a toilet stall while recovering from a hangover.  The filmmakers must’ve known the songs weren’t anything special because there’s a running joke where the characters try to stop each other from singing.

Even though the songs aren’t great, they help to set Psycho Bettys from Planet Pussycat apart from countless other no budget, shot-on-video-in-someone’s-mom’s-house movies.  Like most of these things, the CGI is crappy, and the “futuristic” sets are terrible. There are scenes that look like they were filmed in a storage unit, and one set is literally nothing more than a wall covered with aluminum foil.   

If there is a silver (aluminum foil?) lining, it’s that Psycho Bettys from Planet Pussycat is just different enough to stand out from the rest of the homemade DIY movies that are out there.  That’s not exactly a recommendation.  However, if you like musicals and cheap no-budget sci-fi flicks, you might enjoy it.

YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE (2018) *** ½

When we first see him, Joe (Joaquin Phoenix) is trying to asphyxiate himself with a plastic bag.  It is unclear if he is attempting to commit suicide or if it is merely an unorthodox coping mechanism to alleviate stress.  Throughout the course of the film, we learn the reason for his behavior.

What we learn about Joe mostly comes in fragmented glimpses.  We see him at his job, which allows him to go after child molesters with a ball-peen hammer, but that’s not really who he is.  Or is it?  That’s one of the more fascinating questions about the movie.

Joe has almost crippling bouts of PTSD.  He sometimes talks when no one is there to listen.  With his unkept beard and hair, his brooding nature suggests he could erupt in a firestorm of violence at any moment (which of course makes him a natural fit for his job).  We also see the tender side of Joe as he cares for his ailing mother.  Even when he encounters the girls he helps to rescue, they seem more equipped at dealing with trauma than he is.  

Directed by Lynne (We Need to Talk About Kevin) Ramsay, You Were Never Really Here sort of plays out like a high rent version of a low rent exploitation item.  (There are also moments here that echo Taxi Driver and Oldboy.)  What makes it stand out from the rest of the pack is that Ramsay is as concerned with Phoenix’s trauma as she is with telling her story.  She doesn’t skimp on the exploitation goods either as pedophiles are bludgeoned, teeth are pulled from their roots, and throats are slashed.  However, this is more about the legacy of violence than the violent acts themselves.  

Ramsay has a stripped down, bare bones approach.  Even when the plot starts to take shape (Phoenix is hired by a Senator to rescue his little girl, played by Ekaterina Samsonov), Ramsay continues with her artistic approach, which winds up being quite rewarding in the end.  For example, little scenes that would’ve been throwaway moments in other movies mean something here.  Even if the film feels like its spinning its wheels, just hang in there because it’s definitely heading somewhere.  

You Were Never Really Here is further proof Phoenix is one of the bravest actors of his generation.  He completely disappears into his character and delivers another electrifying performance. His final moments with Samsonov are powerful and their last dialogue exchange is particularly heart-wrenching.  

AKA:  A Beautiful Day.

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: THREE EXTREMES 2 (2006) **

Three Extremes 2 was actually made before the original but released in the States afterwards.  It’s another trio of horror tales by three Asian filmmakers, but this time they’re all pretty much forgettable.  While each tale certainly has their moments, it’s a big comedown from the original (or… sequel, depending on how you look at it).

“Memories” (**) by Kim (The Last Stand) Jee-Woon is about a man grieving over the disappearance of his wife.  He is also suffering from a mental dissociative disorder, which might be making the situation worse.  As his wife tries to make her way back home, he sits around the apartment and has bizarre visions.  

Deliberately paced and frustratingly abstract, Memories tests the audience’s patience to little avail.  There are one or two gruesome bits, but that’s not enough to make up for the slower-than-slow slow burn build-up.  Because it’s Kim Jee-Woon, it’s by far the slickest looking tale of the bunch, so it’s got that going for it.  (Even the grainy, Grindhouse-y looking flashbacks look better than the rest of the movie.)    

“The Wheel” (**) from Nonzee Nimibutr is about an old puppeteer who is suffering on his death bed.  He tells everyone his puppets are cursed, but everyone chalks it up to superstition.  After his death, someone steals the puppets and people start dying. 

Killer puppets and demented dolls have been a staple of horror anthologies since Trilogy of Terror.  This one goes for a slightly different feel, which is admirable, but it isn’t very successful.  It also suffers from too much slow motion, murky cinematography, and a weak ending.  Its biggest sin is that it keeps the killer puppet action to the barest minimum, which is hugely disappointing.  

“Going Home”  (**) by Peter Chan finds a single father moving his son into a decaying, nearly-empty apartment complex.  While left home alone, the kid begins to play with a mysterious little girl in a red coat that seems to appear out of nowhere.  When the child goes missing, his father seeks help from a neighbor who just so happens to keep his dead wife preserved in mystical Chinese herbs the bathtub.  He kidnaps the father and ties him up while he prepares to bring his wife back to life.

This might be the best story in the collection, although that’s not saying a whole lot.  The problem is that the set-up with the little boy and girl is a lot more involving than the hostage drama that develops between the two neighbors.  The final twist is decent enough, and even a tad bittersweet, but it doesn’t make up for the lethargic pacing.

Most horror anthologies have a tendency to be wildly uneven.  This is the rare one where every story is basically a washout.  Since there’s nothing here that even approaches the first film’s classic “Dumplings” segment, most anthology horror buffs will probably want to skip this one.

AKA:  Three.

THE NIGHT COMES FOR US (2018) *** ½

Ito (Joe Taslim) is a badass who is part of a team of Triad enforcers known as “The Six Seas”.  He refuses to murder a little girl in cold blood after a beachside raid and they trip to skip town together.  Arian (Iko Uwais), Ito’s best friend, is then called in to take them out to cement his position as Ito’s replacement in The Six Seas.  

Director Timo (Headshot) Tjahjanto plunges headfirst into the realm of ultraviolent Kung Fu nirvana and barely stops to catch his breath.  Along the way, he gives us a number of impressive (and oh so bloody) fight sequences.  Uwais has a great introduction scene in a nightclub.  When a jackass disrespects him, he shoves a wine bottle down the dude’s throat and then mops the floor with his associates.  Taslim gets a badass brawl in a meat locker where he turns several cleaver-wielding goons into briskets as well as a white-knuckle close-quarters battle with some dirty cops inside the back of a SWAT truck.  There’s also an apartment building massacre that showcases nods to not only George Romero, but Martin Scorsese.  The inevitable battle between Taslim and Uwais is a grueling endurance match as the two combatants relentlessly beat each other to bloody pulps.

The Night Comes for Us feels slight in some respects as there’s a barest pretense of a plot.  Once the action starts, the audience is filled in on the fly of the characters’ motivations and plot exposition.  I’m not really complaining, but at two hours, it all becomes a bit numbing after a while.  I’m sure there could’ve been at least a little nip and tuck here and there.  Then again, I wouldn’t have traded some of these action beats for anything.  There are gory moments aplenty, but it’s the smaller touches (like someone casually pulling off their own finger or banging their shin against a steel girder or having an Exact-o blade breaking off in their forearm) that are often the most stomach-churning.

There’s perhaps a bit too much handheld camerawork in the finale, but for the most part, the choreography is stellar.  Tjahjanto fills the film with flashy stylistic touches.  The neon-drenched lighting and heavy synth soundtrack make it feel like a Nicolas Winding Refn movie in some places.  

If you loved Uwais and Taslim in The Raid, you are officially on notice.  Consider this a subpoena.  You are hereby summonsed to see The Night Comes for Us.  Is it as good as The Raid?  Nope, but then again, what could be?

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: ASTRO-ZOMBIES: M4: INVADERS FROM CYBERSPACE (2012) ** ½

I enjoyed Ted V. Mikels’ third Astro-Zombies opus, M3:  Cloned for the most part.  Because of that, I figured I’d close out the series with this final installment in the franchise.  This time, the Astro-Zombies pop out of laptops across the globe and wreak havoc on unsuspecting citizens around the world… and… well… that’s about it as far as the “plot” goes.    

The cut-rate CGI effects include disintegrations, shotgun blasts, and exploding bodies.  The greenscreen effects may be a tad chintzy, but Mikels, unlike most of today’s shot-on-video directors, imbues his films with an endearing charm.  To his credit, Mikels is able to make a no-budget movie with crazy globe-hopping action set pieces.  The Astro-Zombies lay waste to Berlin, Sydney, Tokyo and countless other international cities with their deadly eyeball laser blasts.  You won’t see this kind of carnage in your typical Troma flick, that’s for sure.

M4:  Invaders from Cyberspace lacks the kitchen sink approach of Part 3.  I also missed the little callbacks to Mikels’ previous films.  On the other hand, Invaders from Cyberspace is shorter and faster paced, which is much appreciated.  I will say that some of the attack sequences get repetitive, but there are enough cool moments here for me to give it a halfhearted recommendation.  (The amusement park massacre is particularly well done.) 

In the end, humans learn mirrors are the only thing that can deflect the laser eye beams and kill the Astro-Zombies.  Which begs the question:  Why couldn’t the Astro-Zombies just grab machetes and kill people like they did in the last movie once they realize their eye beams are useless?  One thing I have learned in all my years watching Ted V. Mikels movies is that you can’t ask questions during Ted V. Mikels movies.

One thing you can expect in a Ted V. Mikels movie is lots of padding and a shit ton of useless supporting characters.  Seriously, did we really need to see the old guy put on his scuba gear in real time?  Oops.  There I go asking questions again.

WICKED WAYS (1999) *

Michael Rooker is married to the emotionally unstable Rebecca De Mornay.  The only reason he puts up with her crazy antics is because the sex is apparently great.  While he’s away at work, she’s left to her own devices sitting on the couch watching soap operas and going around the house setting booby traps like Macauley Culkin in Home Alone.  Little does she know, he’s living a double life with another wife (Lisa Zane) and a gaggle of kids in another town.  Frustrated and bored, De Mornay begins flirting with her new neighbor (Mark Rolston), which begins giving Rooker an exit strategy from his double life.

Wicked Ways plays like a mash-up of a Lifetime Movie, ‘50s melodrama, and ‘90s neo-noir.  I’m not sure what writer/director Ron Senkowski was trying to say here.  Is he saying domestic life is a prison?  Whatever points he makes are often muddled.  The drama is equally murky as none of the characters are remotely likeable and their problems are more annoying than involving.  His overuse of slow motion is confounding to say the least and only makes things all the more irritating.  The twists and turns the film takes in the third act are predicable too.  The inflated running time (nearly two hours) doesn’t do the movie any favors eithers and the already thin plot spins its wheels throughout.

De Mornay certainly tries.  Her character runs the gamut of conniving sexpot to infantile psycho.  She goes from building forts with furniture and sleeping in a crib to doing provocative dances and dressing up like a dominatrix.  The problem is, we never feel much sympathy for her.  We also never know what Rooker’s character gets out of living his double life.  Poor Rooker gives a thankless performance that is often overshadowed by De Mornay’s wild-eyed histrionics.  Even he can’t save this overlong, convoluted mess.

AKA:  A Table for One.