HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: DON’T KILL IT (2017) ** ½

Don’t Kill It is what happens when you let the director of The Convent, Mike Mendez direct a Dolph Lundgren DTV action movie.  That is to say, it’s a pretty junky, but sort of fun action-horror hybrid.  Mendez was also able to convince Dolph to give one of his most spry performances in a while, for which we should all be grateful.

A hunter finds a golden artifact in the woods and becomes possessed by a demon.  He then goes on a killing spree in his small town.  Every time the host body is killed, the demon hops into the person who killed it.  Hence the title, Don’t Kill It.  Dolph is the demon hunter who wants to trap the spirit permanently before it wipes out the entire town.

The plot is an awful lot like another Lundgren flick, The Minion.  At least this one has a sense of style, a handful of memorable moments, and some gory set pieces.  Mendez has a Raimi-esque way of filming the demon carnage.  He handles all the shotgun blasts, meat cleavers to the face, and heads shoved into boiling water with aplomb.  I also liked the way he edited in the little snippets of Lundgren’s past experiences as a demon hunter, which helps to jazz up what would’ve otherwise been a thoroughly ordinary exposition scene.

The centerpiece is the sequence when a possessed guy starts laying into people with an ax during a town meeting.  This scene is a lot of fun and features some over the top gore.  Not only does the demon change bodies, it changes weapons as the killers use axes, guns, chainsaws, and even a milk truck to take out their victims.

After a crackling start, Don’t Kill It begins to spark and sputter as it enters the second half.  The scenes of Dolph teaming up with an FBI agent to track down the demon are sort of rote.  The movie also gets a little repetitive as the plot keeps finding new ways of having stupid people interrupt Dolph by killing the demon and allowing it to enter their body.  The last act is also kind of weak, especially when you compare it to the stellar town hall sequence from earlier in the film.  

Dolph is quite good.  He’s looser, and more relaxed than usual, and can rattle off demonic exposition in an offhand, funny manner.  He gets a funny introduction scene where he beats up a guy in a bar and then buys him some ice cream.  There’s another memorable bit where the cops think he’s crazy and try to pull him out of the room, but he’s too big and strong to budge.  This is one of his best performances in a long time.  

I can’t say Don’t Kill It ever quite clicks.  I can say it’s just good enough to make me want to see another Mendez/Lundgren team-up.  I just hope the next time the script is a bit tighter.

AKA:  Dolph Lundgren:  Zombie Hunter.  AKA:  The Demon Hunter.

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: GET OUT (2017) ** ½

I’ve heard so much about Jordan Peele’s Get Out for over a year now that I finally had to get off my ass and watch it.  Maybe I should’ve seen it when it first came out because it left me kind of cold.  After months of non-stop hype, huge box office numbers, and even Oscar nominations (and one win for Best Screenplay!?!?!), I guess I was expecting… more?

Allison Williams brings her African-American boyfriend Daniel Kaluuya to meet her parents (Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener).  After they get all the awkwardness out of the way, Kaluuya still feels out of place, especially when he notices that the only other black people around (the maid and the groundskeeper) act a little off.  Eventually, he comes to realize there is something sinister going on and that Williams’ family have plans for him.  

The horror elements are more subdued and subtler than I expected.  Peele instead goes for more of a paranoiac slow burn.  It’s also more of a social statement than full-blown horror movie, which left this die-hard horror fan a tad disappointed.  The horror elements don’t really take off until the last reel, which is admittedly gripping.  It’s just that by then it’s too little, too late.  Because of that, I think Get Out might’ve worked better as a short or as part of a horror anthology.  Heck, it would’ve played like gangbusters at 80 minutes, but at 104 minutes, it just a long way to go to get to the good stuff.

Peele won an Oscar for Best Screenplay, but that’s more confounding than anything as there’s nothing here that really seems all that Oscar worthy.  Especially when it’s essentially just a modernized version of The Stepford Wives.  There’s also nothing particularly scary about it either, unless you count the uncomfortable scenes of our hero interacting with his girlfriend’s family as “scary”.

The performers really carry the movie, even when it’s dragging its feet during the middle section.  Kayuula has a strong screen presence and has a lot of chemistry with Williams.  Whitford and Keener are excellent as they pretty much steal the whole show as the nutzo parents.  

Peele is currently producing a new redo of The Twilight Zone.  I think he’s perfectly suited to the job as he has a keen knack for springing last-minute plot twists.  With the tighter time frame of a television show, I think he’s capable of delivering something memorable.  With Get Out, it’s just dawdles way too much until it gets to its well-executed finale.

PEP SQUAD (1999) **

Pep Squad is similar in many ways to Jawbreaker and Heathers as they are all about teenagers resorting to kidnapping and murder to achieve popularity in high school.  The first and third acts work the best as the various sociopathic and psychopathic girls vie for the title of prom queen by murdering the competition.  The second act, which revolves around some of the teens kidnapping the child-molesting principal isn’t nearly as clever or funny.  Not only does it bog the middle portion of the movie down, it seems like it’s a part of an entirely different film altogether.

Pep Squad works mostly as a showcase for Brooke Balderston who plays Cherry, the fiery redheaded killer who literally throws people under the bus in order to be prom queen.  She’s really the only actress that captures the tone that writer/director Steve Balderston (her brother) is going for.  Her campy, over-the-top performance is easily the best thing about the film, and it only really comes to life whenever she is front and center chewing the scenery and taking out the competition.

Most of the humor is sloppy and uneven, but there is some funny stuff here.  The more random moments work the best (like when the cheerleaders do a cheer to an El Camino).  Unfortunately, there are just too many jokes that land with a thud to consider Pep Squad a winner.  

Balderston’s style is sort of reminiscent of Mike Mendez, as he plays up the violence in a campy, cartoonish, and outlandish way.   It was filmed in 1998, a year before Columbine, so I don’t know how the scenes of characters nonchalantly engaging in drive-by shootings and mass murder at the school will play for some viewers.  Some may find them incredibly tone-deaf, especially when school shootings seem to be the norm nowadays.  Maybe Balderston was trying to tell us something and we were just too stupid to listen.  

AKA:  I’ve Been Watching You 2:  Prom Night.

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (2018) *** ½

Bryan (X-Men) Singer’s Bohemian Rhapsody is an unabashed celebration of Queen, their music, and their legacy.  Fans will undoubtedly enjoy it as a trip down memory lane, as a feast for the eyes and ears, and a dynamic showcase for its star, Rami Malik.  Singer famously got fired before movie was still filming and Dexter (Eddie the Eagle) Fletcher was brought in to finish it.  Whatever the drama behind the scenes was, the finished product is rather seamless.

The weakest aspects of the film are the scenes that fall into your typical biopic trappings.  The family drama with Freddie Mercury (Malik) seeking his father’s approval don’t really add dimension to his character and the scenes of the band’s meteoric rise curiously lack sizzle.  These scenes just feel like the screenwriter is checking off clichés for the standard biopic formula.  In the movie’s defense (and in Freddie’s defense too), he states he only really feels alive when he’s performing.  So, if some of the dramatics in between the showstopping numbers seem rote, then the movie comes by it honestly.  

If you wanted Bohemian Rhapsody to delve deep into Freddie’s personal life, you might be a tad letdown.  Some have accused the filmmakers of skirting around Mercury’s homosexuality, but what I found interesting is that it only deals with his sexuality head-on when he himself begins to deal with it (which is when the film is almost over).  If it seems the movie is brushing aside his sexuality, it’s only because he is brushing it aside also.  The remarkable thing is, once he fully embraces himself for who he is, the picture really takes off.  The Live Aid finale is particularly rousing and it’s one of the best sequences you’ll see all year.

Malik is magnetic, and his performance keeps you enthralled over whatever narrative hiccups occur.  The other band members are well cast too.  Surprising, they aren’t pushed to the background in favor of giving Mercury more screen time.  This is a movie about Queen after all, and like the scenes where they squabble over who gets whose song on the album, they step up and vie for their well-earned screen time.  

One thing that I just have to mention is that the film completely skips over the fact that Queen did the soundtrack to Flash Gordon.  I mean how can you make a Queen movie and have nary a mention of Flash Gordon?  They even go so far to play “Who Wants to Live Forever”, the song from Highlander, but not “Flash”?  What the hell?  Half-Star deduction for that bullshit.

THE GRINCH (2018) ** ½

I was brought up on Dr. Seuss books and Universal horror movies, so naturally, watching Chuck Jones’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas starring Boris Karloff is one of my favorite Christmas traditions.  In my book, you just can’t beat the combination of Boris Karloff and Dr. Seuss.  Eighteen years ago, Jim Carrey and Ron Howard tried, and what they came up with was an affront to everything I hold sacred about The Grinch.  That thing has got to be one of the ugliest, most garish, borderline unwatchable movies ever made.  

Because of that, I was extremely skeptical going into Illumination’s remake of The Grinch.  Even though I loved their version of The Lorax (my personal favorite Seuss book), I was still kind of dreading seeing this.  I had almost made up my mind to hate it on general principle.  In fact, I had a whole song planned out for my review set to the tune of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” called, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Mitch”.

I’m not going to lie, from the outset, it looked like that was the review I was going to write.  I mean, first of all, Pharrell Williams is the narrator.  I mean, what?  How can you go from Boris Karloff, one of the greatest screen voices of all time, to this guy?  His narration sounds way too “happy” (see what I did there?) and the rapping of Seuss’ lyrics would probably have the good doctor rolling in his grave.  

Once the film got rolling, a funny thing happened.  I, just like the Grinch got caught up in the spirit of the season.  I don’t think my heart grew three sizes or anything, but it certainly was warmer leaving the theater than it was going in. 

I already knew Benedict Cumberbatch wasn’t going to top Karloff’s version of the Grinch, but he does what he can to make it his own.  I think I finally got onboard with his characterization during the hilarious sequence where he’s dogged throughout the streets of Whoville by persistent Christmas carolers hellbent on spreading holiday cheer.  He has more interactions with his dog Max, which actually softens some of his edges, but once he gets to the big “I must keep Christmas from coming” speech, I had to acquiesce and admit he’s a perfectly fine Grinch.

The big centerpiece where the Grinch steals Christmas is rather inventive.  I liked that he used Ninja skills and James Bond gadgets to steal trees, presents, and decorations from the unsuspecting Whos.  This sequence does feel sort of rushed though, which is odd when you consider there’s a bunch of subplots here that aren’t featured in the original book or show.  Like The Lorax, these subplots have been added to pad out the running time to feature length.  Some of them work (like the Grinch’s run-ins with his overly cheery neighbor) better than others (like the needless stuff about Cindy Lou Who’s harried single mother), but it’s never at the expense of the core tale.  

Like the title character, the movie is rough around the edges, but its heart is in the right place, and I think in the end, that’s what really counts.  There are enough laughs, oddball asides, and generous helpings of genuine heart here to make it all work.  I can’t say this version will become a yuletide tradition in my household like the original.  What I can say is it should please most family moviegoers this holiday season. 

THE BLACK KLANSMAN (1966) ** ½

Ted V. Mikels is probably best known for his nutty sci-fi cult classic The Astro-Zombies.  I recently got to check out parts 3 and 4 of the franchise and was mildly amused, so I'm trying to fill in some of the gaps in my Ted V. Mikels filmography.  I remember when Spike Lee’s Black Klansman came out, all I could think of was… Is he really remaking a Ted V. Mikels movie?  As it turns out, I don’t think they really have anything to do with each other. 

In the south, a newspaper claims, “Civil Rights Act Passed!”  A young black man thinks that’s his cue to go and sit down in an all-white diner.  That stunt winds up getting him murdered by the KKK.  Later, they kill a little girl outside of a black church.  Her father, an LA jazz musician named Jerry (Richard Gilden) is overcome with grief and returns home.  He’s light-skinned enough to pass for white and decides to infiltrate the Klan and get revenge (which naturally includes getting it on with the Klan leader’s sexy daughter).

One thing you notice about The Black Klansman is that it looks great.  Mikels was always his own cinematographer, and no matter what you might think of his films, the cinematography is often excellent.  This is no exception.  Mikels usually liked to use eye-popping color, but the black and white cinematography in The Black Klansman looks slick.  

This is by far the most serious Mikels movie I’ve seen.  Other than the title and ad campaign there’s nothing really sensational or exploitative about the film.  I guess you could say using black characters as heroic leading men could be seen as a precursor to the Blaxploitation movement as this was released a good five years before Shaft.

What’s surprising is Mikels’ frankness while tackling the subject of race in the south in the ‘60s.  We see members of the black community butting heads with the corrupt racist white officials, interracial relationships, and the everyday hatred African-Americans faced in the south.  All of this is handled with a degree of thoughtfulness.  While the movie may have its share of problems, earnestness is not one of them.  

Speaking of those problems, the acting is a little amateurish, which unfortunately undercuts some of the message.  Gilden (who it must be said, isn’t black), who has a bit of a John Agar quality about him, is an OK leading man.  The other performers range from wooden to overwrought.    

Like the majority of Mikels’ films, there are way too many supporting characters and needless subplots that get in the way of the central drama.  The further the movie gets away from Gilden’s quest for revenge, the less successful it becomes.  After a compelling set-up, the plot flounders once Max (The Mack) Julien is introduced as a black power organizer who helps to bust up the Klan’s rally.   

Warts and all, The Black Klansman is still worth a look as a curio piece.  Ultimately, it’s more interesting for what it tries to do than for what it actually accomplishes.  It would make an good double feature with Roger Corman’s The Intruder as both films are from exploitation filmmakers tackling serious and timely subject matter (which unfortunately is still timely today) about race relations in the south.

AKA:  I Crossed the Color Line.  AKA:  I Crossed the Line.  AKA:  Brutes.

PSYCHO BETTYS FROM PLANET PUSSYCAT (2011) **

Psycho Bettys from Planet Pussycat is a lot like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  By that, I mean it’s a musical that usurps old Sci-Fi movie tropes and turns them on their ear to make a statement about changing contemporary mores.  That’s the only reason they’re similar.  I can’t imagine anyone dressing up like the characters from this flick at midnight and singing along with the songs.  

Four alien women named Betty live on a planet with no men.  They are sent to Earth by their queen to find breeding stock and land in Albuquerque in a spaceship disguised as a Honda Fit.  The leader, Betty Hou (Katy Houska) goes around picking up men in bars and luring them into an alley where she cuts off their gonads.  (She keeps them preserved in the freezer for the return trip home.)  Meanwhile, the other Bettys wind up falling in love with a trio of nerdy losers.  Complications arise when the Bettys become pregnant.

As far as the songs go, I’ve heard worse.  They’re mostly bland and unmemorable but I did like the song Betty Hou sings in a toilet stall while recovering from a hangover.  The filmmakers must’ve known the songs weren’t anything special because there’s a running joke where the characters try to stop each other from singing.

Even though the songs aren’t great, they help to set Psycho Bettys from Planet Pussycat apart from countless other no budget, shot-on-video-in-someone’s-mom’s-house movies.  Like most of these things, the CGI is crappy, and the “futuristic” sets are terrible. There are scenes that look like they were filmed in a storage unit, and one set is literally nothing more than a wall covered with aluminum foil.   

If there is a silver (aluminum foil?) lining, it’s that Psycho Bettys from Planet Pussycat is just different enough to stand out from the rest of the homemade DIY movies that are out there.  That’s not exactly a recommendation.  However, if you like musicals and cheap no-budget sci-fi flicks, you might enjoy it.