Tuesday, July 18, 2023

TUBI CONTINUED… SEX AND THE LAW (1968) ** ½

Sex and the Law is a Danish “White Coater” (a sex flick that purports to be a documentary on sex starring “real” doctors dispensing healthy sex advice, but it’s really just an excuse to show a bunch of nudity) on the permissive attitudes regarding sex in modern-day Denmark.  A woman (who sports a badly dubbed Danish accent) tells us she got busted for appearing in porn and then lists reasons why pornography is actually helpful.  We also see scenes of men buying dirty magazines in adult bookstores (one even uses a book to seduce his girlfriend), man on the street interviews where a reporter asks passersby their views on sex and pornography, and a comic segment on Peeping Toms.

The most interesting aspect is the discussion on the fine line between art and porn.  Even for a rather straightforward exploitation flick, they manage to make a couple of valid points.  A sculptor who uses nude models is more or less left alone while a porno director lives in constant fear of being busted by the authorities.  There is also a frank talk about the hypocrisy of S & M smut being against the law while violence in mainstream cinema goes unchecked. 

Most of Sex and the Law is in black and white, but it does switch to color (although the palette is still somewhat muted) for a few instances.  The most notable is when a man and woman model various sexual positions for the camera.  There’s also a handful of color fantasy vignettes near the end.  Other sex scenes end abruptly or are done for comic effect or are just plain unsexy on purpose, which can be a tad frustrating.  (The shooting of a porno is scored like a horror movie.)  If you can’t already guess, all this is uneven as hell, but when it works, it manages to be kinda amusing.  

Director Gabriel Axel later went on to direct Babette’s Feast, which won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film!

AKA:  Danish Blue.  AKA:  The Dear Toy.

TUBI CONTINUED… DAGMAR AND CO. (1971) ***

Sexy prostitute Dagmar (Diana Kjaer from Fanny Hill) has her world turned upside down when a wealthy client proposes marriage and asks to her to give up walking the street and settle down.  Dagmar gives the idea careful consideration before closing out her retirement fund.  That’s just a fancy way of saying she goes around from bank to bank cashing out all the money she’s accrued during her career as a hooker.  Ever the professional, Dagmar keeps all her appointments on her last day as a sex worker and aims to give her customers a send-off they won’t forget.

Dagmar and Co. contains non-stop nudity in the first act and a fun, playful vibe throughout its running time.  The story is a tad episodic, and not all the comedic vignettes work, but Kjaer has a winning personality, and her presence keeps you watching, even through some of the sillier sections.  While the humor is a little on the uneven side, there are still plenty of laughs to be had.  Some of the highlights include Dagmar posing as a nurse to deflower a nervous virgin and banging a composer to the tune of the “William Tell Overture”.  The film threatens to derail late in the game when Dagmar must elude her violent pimp in order to escape her old life.  However, this potentially unpleasant third act complication is wrapped up in comedic fashion, and winds up being just as silly as everything else in the picture.  

Co-writer Louis M. Heywood was also responsible for writing such classics as Planet of the Vampires, Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, and Witchfinder General.  I think he’s the one we should be thanking for all the great dialogue.  My favorite line came when a Japanese businessman gets one look at Dagmar and says, “She’s built like a brick pagoda!”

AKA:  Dagmar’s Hot Pants Inc.  AKA:  Dagmar’s Hot Pants.

TUBI CONTINUED… BARBIE AND KENDRA STORM AREA 51 (2020) **

Remember that small sliver of time when a bunch of yahoos were going to stampede Area 51?  Well, you can relive that oh-so-dated moment in history with the sporadically amusing Barbie and Kendra Storm Area 51.  It’s not great or anything, but it’s downright Shakesperean compared to its predecessor, Barbie and Kendra Save the Tiger King.

Barbie (Cody Renee Cameron) and Kendra (Robin Sydney) return home after briefly becoming trapped in the movie Robot Wars.  (Don’t ask.)  Since the pandemic is still going on, they decide to stay on the couch and watch a conspiracy theory TV show.  The show purports to blow the lid off the top-secret incident where a group of aliens (led by a sexy queen) traveled to Earth to abduct a little girl.  Convinced the government has been lying to them all these years about UFOs, Barbie and Kendra pack their bags for Area 51.

This was a marked improvement over Barbie and Kendra Save the Tiger King, if only because it was a good half-hour shorter.  The movie-within-a-movie (which is a mash-up of The Day Time Ended and Space Thing) is also semi-enjoyable this time around, and it contains a few actual laughs, which is something that can’t be said for Save the Tiger King.  The narrator does a fairly solid Morgan Freeman impression too.  

I’m not saying it all works.  Characters that sound like everyone from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Bullwinkle J. Moose to Fat Bastard from Austin Powers kind of grate on the nerves after a while.  However, the jokes about the alien pyramid being some sort of half-assed Alexa device are good for a couple of dumb laughs.  The Space Thing sequences also provide the film with some T & A, which is certainly a plus.  On the flipside, the Barbie and Kendra scenes are hit-and-miss and aren’t nearly as good as the dubbed-dialogue movie.  However, I did like the part when they called aliens “extra-testicles.”

TUBI CONTINUED… BARBIE AND KENDRA SAVE THE TIGER KING (2020) ½ *

Here’s a relic of the pandemic.  (I know it was only three years ago, but still.)  It’s a sequel to Corona Zombies (which I liked more than I probably should’ve) where the ditzy duo Barbie (Cody Renee Cameron) and Kendra (Robin Sydney) mysteriously find themselves back at home.  With nothing to do and nowhere to go, they settle on binge watching their new favorite show, Tiger King.  

Man, remember when Tiger King was all anyone could talk about?  (Besides COVID, wearing masks, catastrophic death tolls, and such.)  Now, it just seems like so long ago.  Has the world finally moved past COVID?  Has the world finally moved past Joe Exotic?  I sincerely hope so.  

Anyway, the “show” the titular bimbos watch is an unfunny, foulmouthed variation on What’s Up Tiger Lily?  Scenes of Terror in the Jungle and Luana, the Girl Tarzan play out with “comedy” dubbing over the soundtrack.  A little boy named Lil Tiger Joe (voiced by the late Leslie Jordan of all people) boards a plane with his trusty stuffed animal tiger.  The plane crashes in the jungle, and Lil Joe is the only survivor.  Meanwhile, his movie star father sends out a search party to rescue him.  Occasionally, things switch back to Barbie and Kendra on the couch for more lame shenanigans.  

The humor is often painful.  The dubbed movie portions are torturous.  The stuff with Barbie and Kendra work slightly better, if only for the actresses’ bubbly presences.  Unfortunately, the material they’ve been given is anything but funny.  Things really get weird when the flick stops on a dime so Barbie and Kendra can interview one of the stars of the real Tiger King show via Zoom.  In fact, the show seems like so long ago that I don’t even remember who the guy on the show was.  

Overall, watching Barbie and Kendra Save the Tiger King is preferable to getting COVID (or mauled by a tiger), but not by much.

AKA:  Tiger King:  The Movie.

TUBI CONTINUED… THE FALLEN VAMPIRE (2007) **

The Fallen Vampire is an uneven, frustrating, but fitfully engaging documentary on beloved horror icon Bela Lugosi.  Things kick off with Lugosi getting the lead in the Broadway production of Dracula.  Hot off the popularity of the play, Bela resorts to taking a drastic pay cut to ensure he'll be cast in the big screen adaptation from Universal Pictures.  

Then, the film backtracks to Lugosi’s early life.  Stories of his upbringing sometimes conflict as he often lied about his humble beginnings.  Even now, some details of Lugosi’s life pre-Hollywood are still up for debate.  I liked that though, because it adds to his overall sense of mystery.  

From there, it’s more or less the standard rags to riches to rags story.  After the success of Dracula, Lugosi turns down Frankenstein and is forced to look on as the man who played the role, Boris Karloff eclipses him in popularity as the screen’s top horror star.  Eventually, he becomes typecast in unsatisfying horror roles, the size of the parts grows smaller, and he spends much of his later life struggling with addiction.  

There aren’t any real major revelations here, so much of this will feel like an old hat for fans of Lugosi.  The overuse of public domain interview clips (which have turned up in countless similar documentaries) gets to be a bit much too.  The new interviews aren’t particularly earth-shattering either, but I did get a kick out of seeing Lugosi’s Mark of the Vampire leading lady, Carol Borland attesting to his ladies’ man status.  

The film also gets sidetracked when it starts to detour into the historical context of the Dracula legend.  There’s a bit about Transylvania burial customs that just seems like filler.  I mean, this stuff would be okay if we were watching a Dracula documentary, but this is supposed to be about Bela Lugosi.  I could’ve also done without the cheap shots that were made at the expense of the movies Bela made with Ed Wood.  (The narrator calls Glen or Glenda “an artistic failure”, which couldn’t be any further from the truth.)

Now that I got that off my chest, there’s still some good stuff here.  I liked seeing the stills from the old Broadway version of Dracula where Lugosi’s make-up is much more pronounced than what wound up in the film version.  We also get a funny bit where Bela stalks Betty Boop (“You have booped your last boop!”) and an amusing snippet from a newsreel where Lugosi donates blood for the war effort.  (The narrator says, “It’s time to give back some of that blood you’ve taken!”)

AKA:  Bela Lugosi:  The Fallen Vampire.  

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

TUBI CONTINUED… NIGHTFALL: 100 YEARS OF VAMPIRE FILMS (2010) ** ½

From Nosferatu to Twilight, Nightfall:  100 Years of Vampire Films takes us on a century-long journey of bloodsucker cinema.  Things kick off with a brief history lesson of the vampire as the real-life Vlad the Impaler, Countess Elizabeth Bathory, and the publication of Bram Stoker’s Dracula are discussed.  Then, we plunge headlong into the movies.

Clips from such silent era films as The Vampire, Les Vampires, and (of course) Nosferatu are shown.  The ‘30s are represented by Dracula, The Vampyre, and Mark of the Vampire, and the ‘40s give us Son of Dracula, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, and Scared to Death.  There are also segments on the Mexican film, El Vampiro, Hammer horror movies (including Horror of Dracula, The Brides of Dracula, and The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires), Sci-Fi bloodsuckers (Queen of Blood, Planet of the Vampires, and Last Man on Earth), comedies (The Fearless Vampire Killers, The Vampire Happening, and Dracula the Dirty Old Man), and adaptations of Carmilla/lesbian vampire flicks (Blood and Roses, Vampyres, and Vampyros Lesbos).  There are even clips from a few movies I had never heard of before (like Sodium Babies).

While some of this is kind of fun, the documentary overall looks pretty cheap and ragged, especially when covering the historical aspects of vampires.  There are also odd detours that don’t really add much to the film, like the interview with a blogger who recreates Stoker’s novel in blog format.  In fact, the only “name” who is interviewed is Lifeforce director Tobe Hooper, but he’s only in it for about fifteen seconds.  It’s also odd that there’s a section devoted to Frankenstein in a vampire documentary.

Sure, it’s easy to pick apart everything that’s “wrong” with Nightfall:  100 Years of Vampire Films.  The nudity is blurred out, many shots are repeated, and most of the footage comes directly from trailers.  That said, it makes for a breezy, hour-long jaunt through decades of vampire moviemaking.  It’s ultimately inessential, but it’s definitely watchable and (mostly) entertaining.

AKA:  Nightfall.

MITCH GUESTS ON THE DTV CONNOISSEUR PODCAST

Matt from the DTV Connoisseur had me on the podcast once again.  This time, we chatted about the documentary Mail Order Murder:  The Story of W.A.V.E. Productions and Eaten Alive!  A Tasteful Revenge.  If you’ve never seen a W.A.V.E. Production, what are you waiting for? But before you do, you should definitely listen to our conversation:  DTVC Podcast 129, "W.A.V.E. Productions" by DTVC Podcast (spotify.com)