LET’S GET PHYSICAL: ECSTASY ON LOVER’S ISLAND (1961) ** ½

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

Frank (Doug Leith) and Marion (Dwan Marlow) are a recently married couple who go to Vegas on their honeymoon.  Marion wants to do something special for the occasion, so they go out and find a deserted island in the middle of a lake for a little solitude.  Of course, Frank forgets some supplies and has to go back into town, leaving Marion all alone to do some skinny-dipping.  It doesn’t take long before she is menaced by a crazed lumberjack rapist (Anton von Stralen). 

Even though Ecstasy on Lover’s Island (which is what the print calls it, even though it’s referred to as Honeymoon of Terror everywhere else on the Blu-Ray) is only an hour long, it’s still padded with long scenes of the couple boating, having flashbacks to crap that happened ten minutes ago, and taking in the sights of the Vegas Strip.  While it’s nice to see shots of old Vegas, it’s obvious the couple aren’t anywhere near the town limits as they have been awkwardly edited into snippets of travelogue shots of the town, footage of nightclub acts, and scenes of other people gambling.  It also stinks that the couple turn the lights out when they finally consummate the marriage. 

The scenes of Marion on her own and enjoying nature (there’s some fleeting glimpses of nudity) are kind of fun.  Her inner monologues are funny too.  (She says, “God really knew what he was doing when he made the sun!” while sunbathing.)  The cat and mouse chase between her and the “loco” lumberjack takes up much of the second half.  These sequences were pretty much the entire reason the film was bankrolled.  I’ll admit they aren’t exactly suspenseful, but this portion of the picture is at least mildly entertaining, even if it threatens to get repetitive before the finale. 

AKA:  Honeymoon of Terror.  AKA:  Wild Lust.

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: THE MONSTER OF CAMP SUNSHINE (1964) *** ½

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on July 17th, 2007)

This fun nudie monster movie, in the spirit of The Beast That Killed Women, is a must for people who like their nudist colony movies with a touch of monsters thrown in. And it’s SILENT! Before we get to the monster attacks though, we get to witness nude kite flying, skinny-dipping and even a naked birthday party! When the caretaker Hugo turns into a monster and attacks the nekkid ladies, a helpful doctor parachutes in to save the day. The army is also called in and we get to see some hilariously gratuitous army stock footage. There’s also some cool Monty Python style animation in there too. The corny silent movie titles are also great (my favorite: “Thank that great surgeon in the sky!”) and add to the fun.

QUICK THOUGHTS:

I hadn’t seen this in over a decade, so I forgot it takes a while to get going, but once it does The Monster of Camp Sunshine is frequently hilarious.  The impetus for the trip to the nudist colony is great as the nudist becomes all shook up when she is attacked by crazed lab rats.  The “Everything but the Kitchen Sink” finale is still a thing of B-Movie beauty, and the “summary” of the film’s events at the end is fun too. 

Like the early nudist movies, there are long conversations about the benefits of the nudist lifestyle.  This isn’t really necessary in a monster movie, but it helps to pad out the running time.  As a nudist film, it must be said there are some really innovative nudist scenes here.  I’ve sat through a lot of these things, and I have to tell you, The Monster of Camp Sunshine contains some of the best.  

Here’s the complete nudist rundown.  We have:  Nude sunbathing, nude smoking (What better way to enjoy the “healthy” nudist lifestyle than to smoke cigarettes while lounging naked outdoors?), nude kite flying, nude swimming, nude zither playing, nude van unpacking, nude marshmallow toasting, nude weenie roasting, nude birthday party (possibly the only cinematic instance, and therefore, highly recommended), nude sparkler waving, and nude fending off a monster.  It also may be the earliest progenitor of a slasher movie as a deformed axe killer stalks nude women at a summer camp.  If that doesn’t scream “must-see”, I don’t know what does.

AKA:  The Monster of Camp Sunshine, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Nature.  AKA:  Monster at Camp Sunshine. 

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: VENGEANCE OF THE CRYING WOMAN (1974) ** ½

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on February 5th, 2020)

The Vengeance of the Crying Woman offers a slight variation on the established Lucha Libre formula.  This time, instead of El Santo’s sidekick being a masked Mexican wrestling colleague, it’s boxer Mantequilla Napoles lending him a hand.  While it’s nothing revolutionary or anything, Napoles’ boxing sequence is a nice change of pace, especially if you’ve sat through as many of these things as I have.  

A kindly old professor asks El Santo and Mantequilla to help him look for a treasure that once belonged to the legendary “Crying Woman”.  Since the professor wants to donate the gold to local children’s charities, El Santo readily agrees.  He and Mantequilla accompany the professor to a cave that houses the crypt of the now mummified Crying Woman.  When they remove a priceless necklace from the tomb, they accidentally resurrect the Crying Woman, who goes around terrorizing the children in town.  Meanwhile, a nefarious gangster (played by frequent El Santo director Rene Cardona, Sr.) wants to get his hands on the treasure and sends his goons out to hassle El Santo.

There’s plenty of atmosphere to go around, but the various subplots never really mesh.  Although there are highlights to be sure, The Vengeance of the Crying Woman often feels like three movies randomly stitched together.  The scenes of the windswept villainess are striking and strangely beautiful, but the stuff with the gangsters is just kind of routine.  While it’s fun to see Cardona Sr. as the gangster villain, his plotline never really intersects with the Crying Woman in a meaningful way.  Also, it’s a big letdown that neither El Santo nor Mantequilla battle the titular terror.

It’s a shame too, because this is one of the better looking El Santo movies.  I especially loved the Scooby-Doo style scenes of the girls walking around the caves with flashlights.  The shots that alternate from night to day also give the horror sequences a bit of an Ed Wood vibe, which put a smile on my face.

The wrestling sequences look really cheap too.  Both of El Santo’s matches (not to mention Mantequilla’s fight) take place in a ring that is set in front of a blue background with not a fan in sight, only the sound of a crowd.  The fights that occur outside of the ring are solid though.  The sequence where El Santo and Mantequilla get jumped in an alley by a dozen or so of Cardona’s men is the action highlight.

It’s the creepy Crying Woman who steals the movie though.  Her sequences are among the most atmospheric in the entire El Santo series.  Too bad her character almost seems more like an afterthought than an honest to goodness villainess.

AKA:  The Revenge of the Crying Woman.

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: SANTO AND BLUE DEMON VS. DR. FRANKENSTEIN (1974) ****

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

Dr. Frankenstein is trying to perfect the art of brain transplantation.  When the experiments fail, he sends the zombified patients out to kill their loved ones.  Dr. Frankenstein soon becomes convinced that Mexican wrestling champion, El Santo is the only one strong enough to withstand the operation.  When El Santo eludes his grasp, Frankenstein puts a mask on his monster and sets up a wrestling match against him to get revenge. 

Frankenstein’s lab is really cool.  It looks more like something out of a futuristic Sci-Fi flick than your typical Frankenstein movie.  It certainly looks more expensive than something you’d see in your average El Santo outing, that’s for sure. 

It's also interesting that Frankenstein’s monster, “Golem” is portrayed by an African American actor.  This can be seen as either progressive, or as the filmmakers’ attempt to cash in on the then hot Blaxploitation craze.  (Although he just amounts to nothing more than a bald dude with stitches around his head.)

Frankenstein’s ultimate goal is to bring his wife (who died of brain cancer) back to life.  Frankenstein, like his daughter in Santo vs. Frankenstein’s Daughter, possesses the secret of eternal youth, which gives the film some sense of continuity, even though it’s more likely that they’re just ripping off previous El Santo movies. 

Some of this might sound like “criticisms”, but I assure you, they’re merely observations.  None of the above diminishes from the fun, and trust me, there’s plenty of fun moments here.  I think my favorite bit came when El Santo’s pal, Blue Demon disguised himself as a surgeon, humorously wearing a surgical mask over his Mexican wrestling mask.  Plus, you’ve just got to love the kooky score.  More fistfights in films should be accompanied by xylophone solos if you ask me. 

As with Santo and Blue Demon vs. Dracula and the Wolf Man, the wrestling matches take place in front of a blank screen with sounds of a cheering crowd dubbed in.  The first bout is a tag-team match featuring El Santo and Blue Demon.  (Some of the action is needlessly sped up in this sequence.)  The second is another tag-team match, but at least there are insert shots of the crowd this time out.  The finale where El Santo fights the masked monster is set against a red backdrop, which gives it a cool, hellish look. 

It sometimes feels as if El Santo and Blue Demon are getting lost in the shuffle with all the various subplots, but it’s hard to get upset when one of the subplots involve two sexy undercover detectives.  Speaking of hot tamales, the film also boasts a saucy performance by Sasha Montenegro as El Santo’s girlfriend.  In one scene, El Santo tells her there’s a maniac on the loose, and she brushes him off and says, “He’s only killed TWELVE women.”  You’ve got to admire that kind of spunk.

SEQUEL CATCH-UP: STRAY CAT ROCK: MACHINE ANIMAL (1970) ***

Stray Cat Rock:  Machine Animal is the fourth entry in the series starring Meiko (Female Prisoner Scorpion) Kaji.  It’s the only film in the franchise I hadn’t seen.  I’m glad I finally got around to watching it as it is far and away the best one in the bunch. 

Kaji stars as Maya, the leader of an all-girl gang.  They encounter a trio of small-time hoods trying to unload a big shipment of acid and seize the opportunity to rip off the dealers.  Once Maya learns one of the guys is just trying to avoid the Vietnam draft, she feels sorry for them and gives them back the LSD.  Too bad the local kingpin wants his mitts on the drugs.

Kaji once again looks great in her giant brimmed hat and donning an array of fetching outfits.  She lends the film considerable spark, and it’s fun seeing her and her gang riding around on motorcycles and saying American slang like “Groovy!”, “Cool it!”, and “Ain’t no thang!”  The scenes in the swinging go-go club are a blast too and the musical numbers will leave you tapping your toes.  

I can’t really explain why Machine Animal worked for me while the other films in the series didn’t.  Maybe I was just content to vibe to the dated slang, groovy tunes, and freakout scenes.  It also helps that the pace never drags, and the plot doesn’t dawdle.  Plus, the reveal of who’s really running the rival gang is a genuine surprise. Director Yasuharu Hasebe (who also directed the first and third entries in the series) delivers some stylish sequences (like the romantic scene done solely in dissolves) and makes cool use of split screen.  The big chase scene where Kaji and her girls ride their motorcycles through train stations and fancy restaurants is a lot of fun too. 

All in all, this is easily the best of the series, even if we never learn what the hell a “Machine Animal” is. 

SEQUEL CATCH-UP: THE JESUS ROLLS (2020) * ½

The Jesus Rolls isn’t exactly a sequel to The Big Lebowski.  It’s more of a spin-off/prequel featuring the character of Jesus (John Turturro, who also wrote and directed).  It’s a remake of a ‘70s French movie called Going Places with the Jesus dropped in as the main character.  It’s liable to disappoint fans of The Big Lebowski and leave everyone else scratching their heads.

Jesus gets out of jail and reconnects with his buddy Petey (Bobby Cannavale, who left his charisma at home).  Along with their mutal girlfriend Marie (Audrey Tautou), they wind up getting entangled in a series of misadventures while committing several crimes along the way. 

It's obvious Turturro has a lot of love for the character.  I just think he should’ve given the movie some tough love.  He was such a presence in Lebowski, but here, he just seems a little sad and tired.  Seemingly unsure how the audience would take a “pederast” as a main character, he goes through great pains to show it was all a misunderstanding up front.  It’s odd that the movie goes out of its way to show he’s not such a bad guy, but then never does anything to endear him to the audience.  So, then we’re left wondering… what was the point? 

Sadly, the more the film tries to trade in on the Lebowski cult, the more desperate it feels.  There’s no comic momentum whatsoever and any dramatic moments seem to be caught by accident.  The more time you spend with Jesus, the more you realize the character is one-note, and what worked in small doses in a cult classic only gets you so far in a limited release spin-off. 

It's a shame because the supporting cast is stacked.  We have Christopher Walken as a warden, Jon Hamm as a hairdresser, and Sonia Braga as Jesus’ mother.  You can tell they’re just chomping at the bit for something to do, but the script never gives them the opportunity. 

Occasionally, you can see what Turturro was going for.  Susan Sarandon invigorates the film when she shows up halfway through as a jailbird the boys pick up fresh out of prison.  More often than not, the movie Turturro was aiming for didn’t quite make it onto the screen.  Ultimately, the Jesus Rolls a gutterball. 

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: SANTO AND BLUE DEMON VS. DRACULA AND THE WOLF MAN (1973) ****

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

El Santo’s girlfriend’s family is marked for death by Dracula and the Wolf Man.  When the police refuse to help, he turns to his wrestling pal, Blue Demon to lend a hand.  Little do they realize the fiendish monsters are amassing an army to finish off the luchadores once and for all. 

I thought it was cool that they rehired the same actor, Aldo Monti from Santo in the Treasure of Dracula to play Dracula yet again, which at least gives the film a little bit of continuity.  (Dracula’s hunchbacked henchman even wants his “gold”, which I assume is the treasure from the other movie.)  Dracula also gets a cool resurrection scene where a guy is tied up and hung upside down over the Count’s bones.  He’s then cut, and when his blood dribbles onto Dracula’s skeleton, it brings the bloodsucker back to life. 

The Wolf Man (Agustin Martinez Solares), who also goes by the hilarious name, Rufus Rex, has a great look.  He’s often seen wearing a flashy yellow disco shirt and his facial hair looks perfectly blow-dried and set.  It’s almost as if Vidal Sassoon styled Lon Chaney, Jr. 

As for the wrestling bouts, El Santo’s first match takes place in front of a blue backdrop, which was obviously cheaper than filming in a real venue with a paying crowd.  Blue Demon’s fight against “Renato the Hippie” (!) occurs in front of a blood red screen.  After the plot wraps up, Blue Demon and El Santo join forces for a tag team match.  The canned sounds of the audience cheering, and the weirdly hued surroundings give the wrestling sequences an oddly surreal and dreamlike feel. 

In fact, director Miguel M. Delgado (who directed many of El Santo’s best films) favors bright, poppy colors throughout the film which gives it a unique flavor.  Many directors would opt to go overboard with the shadows and fog to make the horror elements come alive.  This one has mostly a primary color palette (love those Dracula babes in their sheer red nighties!) and as a result, it’s one of the best looking El Santo adventures.  There are even moments here that look like something out of a Mario Bava movie, which is about the highest praise I can bestow on a Mexican wrestling horror flick. 

Also of note:  Santo’s spunky girlfriend, Lina (Nubia Marti) is a more than just a pretty face and proves to be capable ally.  In one scene, she saves El Santo’s bacon by driving a forklift into the action!  When do you get to see that?

Santo and Blue Demon vs. Dracula and the Wolf Man maybe isn’t as out and out nutty as say, Santo and Blue Demon vs. the Monsters, but it’s a consistently amusing addition to the franchise.  The little stylistic flourishes and overall general silliness (like the Wolf Man’s army of werewolf henchmen) make it a must see for horror and wrestling fans alike. 

AKA:  Santo and Blue.