SHE WOLF RISING (2016) ½ *

Tiffany Shepis stars as Gina Sklar, a washed-up Scream Queen. Jake (Timothy Mandala) is an obsessive fan boy who thinks he hits the big time when he meets her in a convenience store.  She then ropes him into a scheme to retrieve a copy of her latest film.  Little does he know she’s actually a monster. 

She Wolf Rising is a mess.  Scratch that, it’s a big mess.  Actually, you know what?  It’s a big fucking mess.  There’s just no other terminology to describe it. 

From the awkward flashback structure to the random scenes from Gina’s movies to the pointless dream sequences to the slapdash plot, it is simply all over the map.  Shepis tries to keep things together by being her usually sexy self.  However, it’s a losing battle when the film borders on incoherence at nearly every turn. 

Consider the fact that Jake sometimes wears glasses and acts nerdy and other times he doesn’t.  Why?  I have no clue.  I honestly don’t think the filmmakers did either.

The music video montage of footage we just saw moments earlier adds to the cobbled-together feel.  To make matters worse, it takes forever for Shepis to turn into a monster, and when she finally becomes the She Wolf, she looks more like a hairless pig woman than a lycanthrope.  (It takes even longer for her to remove her top.)

Even worse, when the movie should be over, it isn’t.  It then descends into more film-within-a-film nonsense and continues twenty minutes past its expiration date.  There are also cameos by other Scream Queen favorites like Tina Krause and Debbie Rochon.  Sadly, they are completely wasted, which is infuriating to say the least. 

Overall, this just feels like a giant missed opportunity.  Shepis is a fine Scream Queen.  She would make a terrific She Wolf if given the proper material.  Too bad She Wolf Rising never rises to the challenge. 

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: VARIETEASE (1954) ** ½

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:  

(As posted on July 17th, 2007)

Irving Klaw produced and directed this filmed variety show whose main attraction is Lili St. Cyr, who is also seen backstage getting dressed and lounging around. She finally comes out of her dressing room for the final number. The film is only remembered today for having Bettie Page in it. Page, who is the first act does "The Dance of the Four Veils" is as sexy as ever and is the main reason you'll want to watch it (even if she's only in one scene). Besides other lesser-known strippers, there's Vickie Lynn, a female impersonator, bad Vaudeville comedians, can-can dancing and some pretty awful songs. There's no nudity, but the Eastman color is excellent though. For Page fans only. Klaw also produced Teaserama with Page the next year.

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: BUXOM BEAUTEASE (1956) ***

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY

Buxom Beautease was directed by Teaserama’s Irving Klaw and stars some of the biggest names in Burlesque such as Blaze Starr, Tempest Storm, and Lili St. Cyr.  Teaserama may be better known (mostly because Bettie Page is in it), but I liked this one just as much, if not more. 

First, a couple of comedians come out and do a series of lame gags.  Then, Blaze Starr takes centerstage on a set made up to look like a bedroom.  She does a slinky little striptease out of a cocktail dress before straddling a chez lounge and suggestively writhing around on it.  She gets so hot that steam erupts from the lounger!  In a word: Cinema. 

Next, Barbara Pauline enters a living room set (butt first) for a nice little number.  Then, the comedians come back for a dentist sketch followed by a terrific striptease by the sultry Dorian Dennis.  Eve Adams does a fun little number where she constantly has to adjust her top to avoid nip slips.  Then comes Patti Paget who performs a fun fan dance.  She’s followed by footage of a stripper named Evonne that was clearly taken from another source as the cinematography doesn’t match at all.  A cute Marilyn lookalike named Rita Grable performs a classy number afterwards. 

Starr encores with another striptease while wearing a wild looking headdress (which is the first thing that gets taken off).  Trudy Wayne is next and like Evonne’s segment, it looks like it came out of a nudie loop.  (Not a criticism, just an observation.)  Then, Dennis returns with a striptease out of a sexy evening gown.  Afterwards, the comedians come out and perform a funny math segment. 

Things switch over to color for the final segments.  Lili St. Cyr performs an Arabian Nights themed striptease.  Next, a comedian comes out and does a bit about racehorses (this looks like it might’ve been an outtake from Varietease).   Finally, Tempest Storm finishes things off with a classy little number. 

Klaw reused the same score from Teaserama, but you won’t mind.  Unlike that film, it’s mostly in black and white.  However, the cinematography is excellent.  It’s also missing the idiosyncratic presence of Bettie Page, which takes it down a notch.  (Grable takes up the mantle of title card girl in her absence.)  That said, Starr’s performances are mesmerizing, Dennis is enchanting, and heck even the comedians are pretty funny.  All in all, it’s one of the best Burlesque movies ever made. 

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: TEASERAMA (1955) ***

FORMAT:  BLU-RAY (REWATCH)

ORIGINAL REVIEW:

(As posted on July 17th, 2007)

Teaserama is better than producer Irving Klaw's previous Varietease because it features more Bettie Page. Tempest Storm is the star of this filmed Burlesque show, but Page steals the movie. Both Page and Storm do two dance numbers apiece. Like in Varietease, Bettie dances in the first segment, but she also appears in between acts to hold title cards up for the other dancers. In the movie's sexiest scene, she dresses up in a sexy maid outfit and helps Storm get ready for the show by dressing her and combing her hair. The color photography is once again excellent. There's no nudity, but at least the dancers show off more than they did in Varietease. Also starring female impersonator Vickie Lynn (also in Varietease with Page) and comedians Dave Starr and Joe E. Ross (from Car 54 Where Are You?) and some footage from Varietease is re-used.

LET’S GET PHYSICAL: THE HARRYHAUSEN CHRONICLES (1998) *** ½

FORMAT:  DVD

This hour-long television special narrated by Leonard Nimoy tells us of the life and artistic creations of one of the most renowned special effects men of all time, Ray Harryhausen.  When Ray sees King Kong as a teen, he makes it his life’s mission to become a stop-motion special effects artist.  After serving in WWII, he comes home and begins work on a series of children’s shorts.  Eventually, he gets the call of a lifetime to work under his idol, Willis O’Brien on Mighty Joe Young.  From there, he goes on to create memorable creatures for The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, It Came from Beneath the Sea, Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, 20 Million Miles to Earth, The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, The 3 Worlds of Gulliver, Mysterious island, and many more. 

Written and directed by Time magazine film critic Richard Schickel, The Harryhausen Chronicles offers a treasure trove of material for fans of the legendary effects man.  The coolest parts are of Harryhausen in his studio presiding over and manipulating some of his most famous creations for the camera.  There’s a lot of great clips from the films too.  From the Ymir in 20 Million Miles to Earth to the Cyclops in The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad to the skeleton army of Jason and the Argonauts to the Medusa in Clash of the Titans, they’re all here.  Not only that. but we also get to see his early stop-motion attempts as a young man and test footage from projects that never got off the ground for one reason or another. 

Harryhausen is gracious and warm in the interview segments and offers plenty of behind-the-scenes info on his films.  We also hear from his pal Ray Bradbury (who also wrote Beast) and Harryhausen’s business partner Charles H. Schneer who produced many of his movies.  Fans like Dennis Muren, Henry Selick, and George Lucas are on hand as well as they gush about their love of his work and how it shaped them.  It’s also cool seeing Bradbury handing Harryhausen his honorary Oscar and hearing the ceremony’s host, Tom Hanks talking about his love for Jason and the Argonauts. 

In short, anyone who’s ever been fascinated by the awe-inspired work of Ray Harryhausen owes it to themselves to check this documentary out. 

YACHT ROCK: A DOCKUMENTARY (2024) ***

Yacht Rock is one of those love-it-or-hate-it genres.  There are so many songs that fall under the banner that are excruciating to listen to for me.  However, when you do hear that handful of bangers from the genre, you just have no choice but to sing along.  This documentary (or “dockumentary”, if you will) is a fun look at the Yacht Rock phenomenon.  It keeps things light (although it refuses to put its tongue firmly in cheek) while simultaneously giving all the artists involved their due (even if critics and music snobs refuse to). 

The filmmakers talk to all the giants of the genre.  We get interviews with Michael McDonald, Christopher Cross, Kenny Loggins, the members of Toto, and more.  What we learn is that the genre more or less sprung out organically as many artists knew one another and played either as session musicians or guests on each other’s albums.  (Most of the artists just saw themselves as a new generation of session musicians a la The Wrecking Crew.)  This sort of crosspollination is the reason why so many of the songs sounded so similar and gave the genre its distinct sound. 

The film charts the beginning of the Yacht Rock movement with McDonald joining The Doobie Brothers.  His addition to the line-up caused sort of a changing of the guard as the band transitioned from hippie rock to more of a jazzy lite rock sound.   Other highlights are McDonald’s duet with Loggins, Steely Dan’s Aja album, and Cross’s smash debut.  While the music dominates airwaves and wins countless awards, the death knell sounds with the advent of MTV.  Fortunately, gangster rappers come to the genre’s rescue when they sample some of the best bits for their songs.  (Most notably, McDonald’s “I Keep Forgetting” for Warren G.’s “Regulate”.)  In doing so, it gives the genre a second life.  Later, a web series coins the “Yacht Rock” term, and that, coupled with music lovers’ nostalgia, creates a monster.

It’s funny seeing who does and doesn’t embrace the title of “Yacht Rock”.  (Steely Dan’s Donald Fagen’s refusal to be interviewed provides the film with its biggest laugh.)  The interviews are mostly entertaining and some of their anecdotes are amusing.  Overall, like the songs from the genre itself, Yacht Rock:  A Dockumentary is fun and breezy and a tad forgettable. 

MITCH APPEARS ON THE DTVC PODCAST!

Mitch once again was a guest on the DTVC Podcast with host, Matt Poirer.  On this episode they discussed the Christmas horror classic, Silent Night, Deadly Night (and of course, Mitch made room to talk about his favorite Christmas horror flick, ELVES!).  Give it a listen here: DTVC Podcast 188, "Silent Night, Deadly Night" by DTVC Podcast