HUMAN HIGHWAY (1982) * ½

I watched the new Devo documentary a few weeks back which featured clips from the band’s appearance in Neil Young’s Human Highway, and I was immediately intrigued.  Based on the footage shown, it looked like a trippy good time.  Well, it was certainly trippy. 

There are Hollywood vanity projects and then there’s crap like this.  Most vanity projects are given to actual filmmakers who have rightfully earned a chance to basically do whatever the hell they want.  Sometimes though, Hollywood gives these things to people that have no business being behind the camera.  Such is the case with Neil Young.  Honestly, you could’ve given the camera to Crosby, Stills, OR Nash and they probably could’ve come up with something better than this. 

The plot has Dean Stockwell (who co-directed with Young) taking ownership of a diner/filling station sometime after the apocalypse.  As he tries to find ways to save money, the nerdy grease monkey (Young) shows the new guy (Russ Tambyln, who also served as choreographer) the ropes.  Meanwhile, a bunch of sanitation workers in glowing radiation suits (Devo) drive around in a truck filled with barrels of radioactive waste. 

Parts of this movie resemble an episode of Alice directed by John Waters.  Others play like David Lynch’s Hee-Haw.  None of it is funny, and it is painfully amateurish throughout.  About halfway through, Young hits his head and dreams he’s a rock star and the rest of the movie basically plays like a long music video.  This sequence also features him performing an annoying song where he dances around with Native Americans that’s filmed in headache inducing Blurry-Vision. 

The cast (which includes Dennis Hopper in multiple roles) can’t save this one.  All of them were probably just doing Neil a favor.  Devo is the only real reason to watch it.  Their songs “It Takes a Worried Man”, “Come Back Jonee”, and their duet with Young on “Hey Hey, My My” make it (mostly) tolerable.  (They may seem like an odd pairing, but Devo was formed at Kent State during the massacre and Young wrote “Ohio” about it, so it makes sense that they’d be kindred spirits.)  It’s the band’s mascot Booji Boy who steals the show.  He probably deserved his own movie.  

KARATE KID LEGENDS (2025) ***

Even though I am a big fan of the original Karate Kid movies, I still haven’t gotten around to watching the Cobra Kai TV show.  I mean, I love Karate Kid and all, but I can’t see myself devoting tens of hours to a TV show about it, even if they did bring my boy Terry Silver back.  There are just so many hours in a day.  On the other hand, a ninety-minute team-up movie between the original star Ralph Macchio and the remake’s Jackie Chan?  Well, that I can do. 

Li (Ben Wang) is a kid who moves from China to New York and almost immediately starts getting hassled by a karate champion classmate named Conor (Aramis Knight).  You see, he’s just jealous because his ex-girlfriend Mia (Sadie Stanley) has befriended Li and he wants to show him up in front of his girl.  Meanwhile, Mia’s father (Joshua Jackson) owes money to the shady characters to own the karate dojo where Conor trains.  Since Li promised his mom (Ming-Na Wen) not to fight, he agrees to train Mia’s dad for an upcoming boxing match.  After her dad is brutally beaten, Li vows to get payback by entering the “Five Boroughs Karate Tournament”.  In order to win, he’ll have to be trained by his Uncle Han (Chan) and his friend Mr. Miyagi’s prized student, Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio). 

In most of these “legacy” sequels, the stuff with the new characters tends to be the weakest part.  The surprising thing about Karate Kid Legends is that the new characters are all appealing and the new storyline (which is basically an inverse of the original) is engaging.  Wang makes for a likable lead and he’s quite good in his mentoring scenes with Jackson.  In fact, the shakiest aspect of the movie is the last act, which is what you’d expect to be the strongest. 

Many will be bummed that Macchio doesn’t show up until the last forty minutes, but honestly the narrative holds up pretty well without him.  Once he’s there, it’s really little more than fan service anyway.  That said, it’s still a kick (no pun intended) to see him and Chan sharing the screen together.  The tournament finale has some problems too, mostly because it feels rushed and the editing gets a little ADD (the video game-inspired graphics for the fights are cheesy too).  However, it’s nothing that derails the fun.  Besides, Wang gives the movie plenty of heart, and that’s really what counts in a Karate Kid film. 

TITILLATION (1982) ***

Eric Edwards stars as a fast-talking detective who is hired by an eccentric millionaire (Roy Simpson) to find a woman who can fit into a giant bra made of brass.  Naturally, there’s only one woman with a figure like that, and that’s Kitten Natividad.  When she mysteriously disappears, Edwards gets help from the millionaire’s secretary (Angelique Pettyjohn) to find her. 

Directed by Damon Christian, Titillation has a little something for everybody. It’s an entertaining detective spoof that’s anchored by several strong performances as well as a handful of steamy sex scenes.  There are even some legitimately funny moments along the way, like when other characters appear to hear Edwards’ hardboiled narration and try to find out where it’s coming from.  Edwards also proves himself to be a fine comedian as he handles the humor just as well as he does the hardcore action. 

The movie really belongs to the ladies in the cast.  If you’re a fan of Natividad, you’re bound to enjoy it.  Kitten also appeared in Christian’s Eat at the Blue Fox, but unlike that film, she is allowed to get in on the fun here.  Even though her sex scene isn’t of the hardcore variety (no penetration is shown), it’s still hot just seeing her getting all nude and jiggly.  Pettyjohn herself had an interesting career.  She had memorable turns on Star Trek, appeared with Elvis in Clambake, and made movies with everyone from Michael Findlay to Jim Wynorski to Fred Olen Ray.  In the ‘80s she even appeared in a handful of porn films like this one.  She’s particularly hot in her energetic scene with Edwards.  However, the scene where she and Mike Horner seduce a young blonde babe is the XXX highlight as she really gets into it.  Randy West also appears as Edwards’ partner who bangs Gina Gianetti on a bearskin rug. 

Pettyjohn and Natividad later co-starred together in the immortal classic, Takin’ It Off.  

HAPPY GILMORE 2 (2025) ** ½

After the death of his wife, golfer Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler) gives up the game to raise his kids.  As the years go by, he becomes strapped for cash and decides to pick up his clubs once again in order to put his daughter through ballet school.  He also winds up going toe to toe with an upstart “extreme” golf league and sets out to take their obnoxious creator (Benny Safdie) down a peg with the help of his old nemesis, Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald). 

I haven’t really kept up with Adam Sandler’s Netflix films (aside from the dramas like Uncut Gems and The Meyerwitz Stories).  This one wasn’t too bad, all things considered.  However, it wasn’t exactly good enough to make me want to run out and watch his other Netflix stuff any time soon. 

The biggest problem was there was no reason it needed to be two hours long.  Then again, I guess just about every Netflix Original out there runs on way too long.  The real issue is that it has enough plot for two movies.  Had the film been content with having Happy trying to pay for his daughter’s dance lessons, it would’ve been just fine.  The last half hour with the extreme golf stuff is weak though, and it’s here where the film begins treading into Caddyshack 2 territory. 

Qualms aside, Happy Gilmore 2 pretty much gives you what you would expect from a three-decades later sequel to Happy Gilmore.  There are lots of cameos from stars of the original and random celebrities (some more random than others), plenty of scenes of Sandler acting like his usual goofball self, and a few genuine chuckles.  It’s just entertaining enough to justify the long wait.  While it will no doubt appease Sandler’s die-hard fans, it often gets bogged down with plot and fan service.  Then again, there are certainly worse legacy sequels you could waste your time on. 

THUNDERBOLTS* (2025) ** ½

Thunderbolts* is a bargain bin version of The Avengers featuring leftover B and C characters from various Marvel movies and TV shows.  Because of that, it often feels more like a placeholder than an honest to goodness Marvel movie.  It doesn’t help that the team members have similar powers and costumes. 

Assassin Yelena (Florence Pugh) is having a bit of an existential crisis.  She wants to retire from black ops work, so she takes one final mission from her boss Valentina (Julia Louis Dreyfus).  Naturally, she double crosses Yelena, along with several other cut-rate superheroes in hopes that they will kill each other off.  They manage to survive, only to band together to fight off Valentina’s latest creation, the all-powerful evil supervillain Sentry (Lewis Pullman). 

Thunderbolts* is fast-paced and is never boring.  The stakes are refreshingly low too, although that winds up being kind of a mixed blessing.  On one hand, it just looks and feels like a Disney+ show.  On the other, it’s sort of nice to have a superhero flick where the fate of the galaxy doesn’t hang in the balance for a change. 

The idea of a ragtag group of misfit superheroes coming together should’ve been a home run, but the movie itself never really comes alive. While there is a brief spark of fun here and there, for the most part, it just seems like another day at the MCU office.  While Pugh does her best to keep the film together, it ultimately winds up feeling like a lower budget version of the shit we’re used to seeing.  Wyatt Russell is pretty funny as the delusional Captain America knockoff, USAgent, as is David Harbour as the loudmouth Red Guardian.  For the guy who’s been in the MCU the longest of anyone in the movie, Sebastian Stan feels curiously underutilized though.  Pullman is also much too bland to register as the villain.  At least Dreyfus is having fun chewing the scenery. 

Once the team finally starts working together to save citizens from crumbling rubble, the movie comes to life.  Too bad the scenes of Yelena getting trapped inside of her darkest memories almost immediately bog it back down.  For every misstep though, there’s a strong scene that showcase the film’s potential.  For a movie about a bunch of screw-ups fighting against their nature to do the right thing, I’d say that’s fitting. 

AKA:  The New Avengers.  AKA:  Thunderbolts*:  The New Avengers.

Marvel Cinematic Universe Scorecard: 

Spider-Man:  No Way Home:  ****

Avengers:  Age of Ultron:  ****

The Incredible Hulk:  ****

Iron Man:  ****

Thor:  Ragnarok:  ****

Avengers:  Endgame:  ****

Ant-Man and the Wasp:  ****

Spider-Man:  Homecoming:  ****

Iron Man 3:  ****

Captain America:  Civil War:  *** ½

Ant-Man:  *** ½

Guardians of the Galaxy:  *** ½

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:  *** ½ 

Avengers:  Infinity War:  *** ½

Werewolf by Night:  *** ½ 

Black Panther:  *** ½ 

The Avengers:  ***

Captain America:  The First Avenger:  ***

Captain America:  The Winter Soldier:  ***

Deadpool and Wolverine:  ***

Thor:  Love and Thunder:  ***

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness:  ***

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings:  ***

Captain Marvel:  ***

Spider-Man:  Far from Home:  ***

Thor:  ***

The Marvels:  ***

Captain America:  Brave New World:  ***

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3:  ***

Thor:  The Dark World:  ***

Iron Man 2:  ***

Thunderbolts*:  ** ½ 

Ant-Man and the Wasp:  Quantumania:  ** ½ 

Doctor Strange:  ** ½ 

Black Widow:  ** ½  

Black Panther:  Wakanda Forever:  **

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special:  **

Eternals:  * ½  

INTO THE DEEP (2025) **

As a young girl, Cassidy (Scout Taylor-Compton) watched in horror as a shark devoured her father.  Years later, along with her husband Gregg (Callum McGowan), she takes it upon herself to face her fears and go diving for sunken treasure in the same spot where she lost her old man.  Wouldn’t you just know it?  They are attacked by sharks once again.  When they flag down a passing vessel, they are dismayed to learn the captain (Jon Seda) is a drug smuggler who is searching the deep for a payload of cocaine.  The desperate Cassidy eventually offers to dive and recover the drugs in the shark-infested waters in exchange for her friends’ lives. 

As the title suggests, this is sort of like a mash-up of Into the Blue and The Deep with a little 47 Meters Down thrown in there for good measure.  While the shark attack scenes are decent, the waters are often muddied (both literally and figuratively) by phony-looking CGI blood.  They’re probably the best part of the movie.  Once the action switches to the drug dealers coercing our heroes into diving for their loot, the pacing begins to sag. 

The supporting cast is pretty weak.  McGowan doesn’t really register as a hero, even though he’s top billed.  Likewise, Stuart Townsend is rather bland as the boat captain.  Seda is just too obnoxious to make a credible villain as he looks and acts like a Wish version of David “The Demon” DeFalco.  I did think it was funny that he had a Michael Myers tattoo, seeing how Taylor-Compton played Laurie Strode in the Halloween remake.  I’m not sure if that was intentional or not. 

Seeing Richard Dreyfuss in another shark movie is kind of fun though.  He plays Taylor-Compton’s grandfather who gets a cool speech about people being a “guest" in the shark’s environment.  Too bad he’s mostly seen in flashbacks which are often intrusive to the narrative and take away from the immediacy of the action. 

Other than the relationship between Dreyfuss and Taylor-Compton, Into the Deep is rather shallow.

THE FAVOURITE (2018) *** ½

In 18th century England, Queen Anne (Olivia Colman) becomes bedridden, and allows her loyal lady Sarah (Rachel Weisz), who also happens to be her secret lover, to handle the affairs of the country.  One day, Sarah’s cousin Abigail (Emma Stone) comes calling looking for a job as a lowly servant.  She soon ingratiates herself with the Queen and begins to curry favor with her.  She eventually winds up in the royal bedroom, much to the ire of Sarah.  Thus begins a series of betrayals between Sarah and Abigail as they vie for the Queen’s affections. 

It’s not every day you get to see a lesbian love triangle involving the Queen of England.  From the outset, The Favourite looks like your typical period piece, but it has a wicked streak about it and a sense of fun that a lot of these things lack.  Also, this might be the only movie on record with a slow-motion scene of British aristocrats in powdered wigs watching a duck race, so it’s got that going for it too.  I guess that’s what you get when you put a guy like Yorgos (The Lobster) Lanthimos at the helm. 

The backstabbing and conniving between Abigail and Sarah to win the heart of the Queen is a lot of fun.  Seeing the lengths each woman will go through to get what they want gives the movie an unexpected kick too.  I’ve seen some reviews that state the last reel or so is “anticlimactic”, but it’s a crucial part of the film as it shows the characters grappling with the consequences of their actions.   Without these scenes, it would’ve played like a typical romance.  With them, it’s more like a tragedy. 

Emma Stone is a real spitfire here, and she seems to be having a ball playing a devious temptress.  Weisz is equally fine as the more mannered of the suitors, but it’s Colman’s heartbreaking performance as the lonely and love-starved Queen who is the most memorable. 

Stone and Lanthimos later teamed up for the audacious Poor Things.