THE STUDENT BODY (1976) **

Carrie (Jillian Kesner), Chicago, (Janice Heiden), and Mitzi (June Fairchild) are three inmates who are given a chance at early parole.  The trio are transferred from a state penitentiary to a state college where they take part in an illicit drug experiment run by a shady professor (Warren Stevens, acting like a budget version of Cameron Mitchell).  When Mitzi begins experiencing severe side effects, Carrie tries to have the experiment quashed, but predictably, no one listens until it’s too late. 

Directed by Gus (The Sidehackers) Trikonis, The Student Body features a mishmash of potentially good ideas that are tossed together in half-assed fashion.  It starts off like a Women in Prison flick with a fun Royal Rumble catfight in the laundry room.  From there, it turns into a college hijinks comedy before morphing into a low rent version of a Robin Cook thriller (and that’s giving it way too much credit).  Since it plays like a laundry list of ideas, it makes for a better trailer than a motion picture. 

The good news is there’s a fair amount of nudity in this one.  Such scenes involve skinny-dipping, hot tubs, coeds being spied on via closed circuit television, and heavy petting sessions.  Unfortunately, the T & A kind of dries up about halfway through the movie and likewise, so does the fun.  It’s a shame too because the first act is thoroughly entertaining.  As the film goes on, it feels less like a drive-in movie and more like an After School Special.  The climax is particularly underwhelming and ends things on a frustrating note. 

The Student Body is notable for being the film debut of Jillian Kesner, who is probably best known for her iconic topless Kung Fu fight scene in Cirio H. Santiago’s Firecracker.  Kesner (who went on to marry the film’s cinematographer, Gary Graver) is great as always and anchors the movie the best she can before it goes careening off the rails.  Heiden is fun too as the feisty Chicago, as is Fairchild.  The cast is rounded out by Judith (Eraserhead) Roberts, who plays Stevens’ wife and Peter (TV’s Dr. Strange) Hooten as his son.  It’s Fairchild though who gets the best line in the film when she says, “Big feet… Big ding-dong!”

AKA:  Sexual Students.  AKA:  Sexual Student.  AKA:  Classroom Teasers.  AKA:  Valium High.