People
assume I see movies at random, but I assure you I have a strict guideline I follow
before selecting a film to watch. For
example, if Jean-Claude Van Damme is in your movie, chances are I'm going to
watch it. Put Christopher Lambert in
there, and the chances have doubled. You
add Mike Tyson in the mix, and I'm there with bells on. You put all three of these titans together in
one place and you can bet your ass I’m going to watch it.
Kickboxer: Retaliation picks up about eighteen months
after Kickboxer: Vengeance. Kurt Sloane (Alain Moussi) is married and enjoying
his rise as a prominent MMA fighter.
More (Lambert) is the brains behind the underground fighting tournament
from the last movie who wants to see Sloane defend his title. Sloane refuses, and More has him thrown in a
Thailand hellhole prison where he constantly fights inmates and is whipped by
guards. When More kidnaps his wife, Sloane
teams up with his old mentor (Van Damme) to train for the big fight.
Kickboxer: Retaliation gets off to an awkward start with
a weird scene where Moussi does a tango on a train. It all turns out to be a dream/premonition
that acts as his personal Spidey Sense/déjà vu from The Matrix that lets him
know danger is near. Once the focus
shifts to the prison, the movie really gets into gear. There’s one scene where Moussi kicks the crap
out of dozens of inmates set to an old blues ditty that is done in one long
take that serves as a reminder of just what a talent he is. When he accidentally disturbs Tyson’s mediation
(!!!), they get into a huge brawl. Later,
Tyson teaches Moussi a trick to heal and they become friends.
Just
when you think it can’t get any better, Van Damme shows up, only this time, he’s
blind! He even gets a brief Zatoichi-style
swordfight against Lambert! (I hope Van
Damme and Lambert rematch in a Highlander reboot very soon.) Van Damme then trains Moussi and exchanges
words with Tyson. Then Van Damme and
Tyson fight, albeit briefly. It’s like
the movie keeps checking off things from my cinematic bucket list.
There’s
more. Remember David Bautista’s Tong Po
in the last movie? Well, this new guy,
Hafpor Julius Bjornsson is like twice his size.
Not only that, he was created in a mad scientist lab. Remember when Drago got shot up with steroids
during training in Rocky 4? This guy
gets shot up with rejuvenation serum in between rounds!
Lambert
gives a funny tweaked performance. I
especially liked the part where Moussi threatens him, and he shrugs him off
like, “Yeah, I get it. We all die if we
hurt your girl”. Van Damme delivers yet another
late-era acting gem. Should the series
continue, I hope they’re able to explore his character further. Tyson lends the film a lot of energy and swagger,
although you really wish he was given more to do.
The
bad news is director Dimitri (Slaughterhouse Rock) Logotheits is no John Stockwell
when it comes to staging the action. While some of the fight sequences are quite
good (like the scene where Moussi beats up a bunch of dudes to the tune of “Wipeout”),
they would’ve been sterling had the camerawork and editing been more precise.
Then
again, Kickboxer: Retaliation is so
damned eager to please that it's easy to forgive it for its sometimes-sloppy
execution and bloated running time. I mean,
what if I told you Moussi goes into the last round of the final fight aided by a
blindfold, inspirational quotes from Mike Tyson, AND an injection of Herbert West’s
Re-Animator serum? Most movies would’ve
been content to have only one of those things happen during the finale. This one gives you all three. In short, it’s a blast.
If
you’re wondering why I haven’t reviewed Kickboxer: Vengeance, it’s because that will be featured
in my next book: Kung Fu Companion: The Chopsocky Movie Guide later this
year. In the meantime, you can check out
my latest book, The Bloody Book of Horror here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542566622/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520113366&sr=8-1&keywords=mitch+lovell
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