Emily
(Brooke Pascoe) catches her husband Charles (writer/director Richard Finger) cheating
on her with his secretary (Alana Jordan).
To get back at Charles, she starts
her own affair with a coworker (Charlie O’Connell, Jerry’s brother).
This
might’ve been worth a damn if anyone got naked, but they don’t. You can only stand watching people TALK about
sex without doing it for so long. It’s
all tease, no please.
The
amateurish actors just aren’t strong enough to pull off all of Finger’s
psychobabble dialogue. When they speak,
it never feels like real people having a conversation. The stilted performances make the dialogue even
more cringe-inducing. The longwinded
narration is so wordy and chockful of needless over-psychoanalyzing that it’s
almost good for a laugh, if it wasn’t so dull that is.
Speaking
of which, the comedy is the weakest aspect.
It’s one thing to have the characters endlessly talking about their sex
life through boring monologues. When
they try for laughs, the punchlines land with a thud. The running joke where characters keep
saying, “Everyone has herpes” is especially unfunny. The fantasy sequence where
Pascoe imagines herself turning into the Wicked Witch of the West and poisoning
her hubby is the only true random WTF moment that’s memorable.
It
seems like Finger was going through some sort of mid-life crisis and put all of
his sexual neurosis into a script. In his
defense, making a movie was probably cheaper than the inevitable therapy
bills. I just wish he had some actual
talent.
Things
get particularly boring once the movie becomes a how-to manual of how to lawyer
up after your secretary files sexual harassment charges against you. While we’re on the subject of the secretary, I
can’t understand why all the characters talk about her boobs, but they never show
them. What a rip-off!
The
biggest name in the cast is Shannon Tweed, who plays one of Pascoe’s
girlfriends. She’s sadly only in one
scene and easily outshines the rest of the cast. Her daughter, Sophie also has a small
role. Neither of them is given enough to
do to save this boring, unfunny, and forgettable mess.
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