A
hooker is walking through the woods when three hoods shoot her with an
“anesthesia gun” (the hell?) and have their way with her. Bobby Aster takes her mouth, Jamie Gillis
goes down south, and the other guy just jerks off in her socks. She is eventually found by C.J. Laing who
runs an all-woman army of Kung Fu warriors who live in the woods. Laing nurses her back to health, and by
“nurses her back to health”, I mean she bangs her on a bear skin rug in the
middle of the forest before training her in the martial arts.
The
Vixens of Kung Fu (A Tale of Yin and Yang) is a Kung Fu/porno hybrid. It’s decidedly less successful when it’s
trying to be a full-fledged Kung Fu movie than a porno. That said, I can’t say the porno stuff is
exactly titillating either, but there are a few humorous moments to be had here
to make it almost worth watching.
A
little of this nonsense goes a long way.
Ultimately, it’s just too damned long (even at a relatively scant 71
minutes) and eventually wears out its welcome.
I know it’s futile to criticize the plot, but I found it odd the hooker
didn’t learn Kung Fu and use it to get revenge on Gillis and company. Instead, Laing trains her to get it on with a rival
male Kung Fu master who only appears once the film is halfway over.
The
most memorable scene has the Kung Fu girls sitting around meditating until
their pussies start literally smoking. The
nude Kung Fu fights are amusing as well (they contain jump cuts to make it look
like the participants are moving fast), but they’re all too brief. While the choreography may leave something to
be desired, the film does end with not one, but two freezeframe shots of people
jumping into the air in slow motion, so at least its heart is in the right
place.
AKA: Vixens of Kung Fu.
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