ENDGAME (1983) ***

Endgame is a bonkers Italian sci-fi action mishmash that sort of acts like a precursor to The Running Man with healthy doses of Escape from New York, The Warriors, The Omega Man, and even Planet of the Apes thrown in there for good measure.  It stars the holy trinity of Italian schlock stars, Al Cliver, George Eastman, and Laura Gemser (using the pseudonym, “Moira Chen”), all of whom are a lot of fun to watch.  Why are you still reading this?  Go out and watch it now!  

Well, if you still need more convincing…

Endgame is television’s top-rated post-WWIII game show.  Every year, “the prey” is given a head start to make a run through the desolated, radioactive wasteland before “the predators” (guys wearing face paint and leather jackets left over from Road Warrior) are let loose to hunt him down.  Rabid viewers watch it all in the comfort of their home while the bigwigs in charge try to keep them pacified so they can continue lining their pockets with money from the corporate sponsors.  Things get complicated when this year’s prey (Cliver) gets involved with a band of benevolent telepathic mutants who interrupt the game and beg him to guide them safely across the wasteland to avoid government persecution.

In addition to the movies previously mentioned, there’s also a bit of Seven Samurai here as Cliver hires a team of mismatched mercenaries to aid him in his quest.  (Including an Asian guy called “Ninja”.)  There’s also a floating rock scene right out of The Empire Strikes Back, and the mutant wasteland cretins sort of resemble half-assed X-Men too.  The ending is kind of reminiscent of Carrie, if you can believe it. 

Only a guy like Joe D’Amato could rip off so many movies at once and combine them in such an effective manner.  He even shows a flair for comedy too as the futuristic commercials are good for a laugh.  I also loved the love/hate relationship between Cliver and Eastman, who plays his main rival on the game show.  He only joins up with Cliver and his band to ensure he’ll live long enough for a rematch.  I eat macho shit like that up by the bucket.  

Gemser’s big scene comes when she is kidnapped by the evil lizard mutant biker who says things like, “Look at me when I rape you, dammit!”  We also get an incredible scene where Eastman snaps a guy’s neck 180 degrees UPWARDS.  Now, we see neck snaps in movies all the time where the villain’s neck is twisted side to side, but I think this may be cinema’s first VERTICAL neck twist.  

If you can’t already tell, Endgame is exactly the kind of nutty movie I live for.  This is why I sit through dozens of crappy flicks, because you never know when you’re gonna find a ripe slice of warped genius.  It’s not good… exactly, but it’s a damned good time.