Angel’s Mission is another one of those Godfrey Ho cut-and-paste jobs. It’s all over the place and rarely makes sense, but it moves like a freight train and contains some primo ass-kicking. I’m pretty sure Ho had nothing to do with that though as he probably stole those scenes from a completely different movie. Nevertheless, I kind of dug it.
The opening scene is strong. A guy makes a deal with a duo of shady thieves, exchanging some stolen jewelry for a duffle bag full of money. They try to double-cross him by calling on a bunch of machine gun-toting heavies as back-up, but luckily, he just so happens to have a giant Rambo-style gun that he uses to even the score.
From there, we follow a Japanese policewoman who comes to Hong Kong to bust up a drug and prostitution racket. This lady cop offers some of the best moments in the movie. Among the highlights is the sequence where she shows up a bunch of students at a karate school who assume she can’t fight just because she’s a woman. Another memorable scene comes when a dealer threatens to throw some drugs down the toilet, which he doesn’t realize is out of order. There’s also a completely random attack by dudes wielding machetes.
We get many WTF moments along the way to help ensure Angel’s Mission’s place among the highest rungs on the Godfrey Ho ladder. One such sequence is the hilarious coed strip show. (The strip club must be an equal opportunity employer.) Then there’s the fact that nearly half the score is music stolen from the Re-Animator soundtrack. Even more random is the scene where a guy gives a slideshow showcasing women who are afflicted with AIDS!
Look, I got my first dose of Moderna the day I watched Angel’s Mission, so it’s very possible I imagined like half of this. I might be able to tell you what happened in this movie, but I’ll be damned if I can tell you what it was about. Stuff just sorta happens without rhyme or reason. Thankfully, the stuff that does happen is often badass as there are lots of John Woo-style slow-motion gunfights and energetic fight choreography.
There might’ve also been a subplot about smuggling cocaine in watermelons, although it’s entirely possible I hallucinated that part as well.
In short, Angel’s Mission doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but it does offer up a reasonable amount of fun. If anything, the hilarious dubbed dialogue alone will have you LOL’ing. Among my favorite lines:
“You’re just a horny old maid!”
“Boss… we failed! He’s one tough hombre!”
“How dare you bring a pussycat into my bed!”
The best line comes when a guy tries to bang his girlfriend in an alley and she protests, “Alleys are for gang fights!”
AKA: Fighting Angel: Born to Fight 5. AKA: Kicking Buddha. AKA: Born to Fight. AKA: Born to Fight 2.
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