THE BEACH BUNNIES (1976) * ½

Hollywood’s biggest rumor is that the hottest movie star on the planet has gotten a sex change.  When a reporter fails to get the inside scoop, his editor Elaine (Brenda Fogarty from Fairy Tales) takes over and tries to get the story herself.  Her plan involves going undercover with her three girlfriends at the beach where the movie star is vacationing.  She then sets out to seduce him so she can get her hands on the… ahem… hard evidence. 

Directed by Stephen C. Apostolof and co-written by Ed Wood (his last credited work of his lifetime), The Beach Bunnies suffers from an ungainly plot.  The opening scene that sets everything up goes on forever, and the long scenes of Fogarty driving are equally languid.  It’s one of those tedious movies where you feel like it should be almost over, but when you check your watch, you’re horrified to learn that only twenty-five minutes have gone by. 

It’s a huge disappointment too when you consider that Apostolof and Wood had previously collaborated on such classics as Orgy of the Dead and Fugitive Girls.  In comparison, The Beach Bunnies is a major comedown in quality in just about every way.  The only exception is the sex change subplot that harkens back to Wood’s first film, Glen or Glenda.  Some of the dialogue in the early scenes is reminiscent of Wood’s better works.  However, the dialogue found in the rest of the movie is decidedly lacking his usual touch.  I don’t know if Apostolof took over the screenwriting reigns halfway into production or what.  Maybe this just wasn’t up to Wood’s usual standards.  Whatever the case, the results are a thoroughly generic, forgettable, and most of all, boring affair.  (At least there is one scene that goes from night to day and then back to night again to remind you of Wood’s presence.)

On the plus side, there is an okay amount of skin for this sort of thing.  However, Apostolof’s handling of the various nude scenes and sex sequences is downright dull.  The beachy scenes are all predictable.  There’s the standard-issue bit where the editor fakes drowning to get the attention of the movie star, but naturally winds up being rescued by the wrong man.  We also get the obligatory From Here to Eternity-style sex scene set in the crashing waves on the beach.  Unfortunately, the whole movie feels like an eternity.  As bad as the sex scenes are, they do improve somewhat as it goes along, especially whenever Apostolof ditches the plot in favor of random scenes of the bunnies getting busy.  (The highlight is the gangbang on the beach.)  However, the long boring beach luau near the end pretty much ruins whatever momentum it managed to achieve. 

At their best, both Apostolof and Wood are capable of some truly amazing work.  Even on their off day, they can still cobble together some fun (or at the very least, memorable) films.  The Beach Bunnies is a rare effort that fails on all accounts. 

AKA:  Red Hot and Sexy.  AKA:  The Sun Bunnies.