MEMPHIS CATHOUSE BLUES (1982) **

Memphis Cathouse Blues is basically the porno version of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  (Minus the singing, of course.)  It’s a rather star-studded affair too, featuring many of the adult industry’s biggest names of the ‘70s and ‘80s.  While the highlights are few and far between, it makes for an OK vintage smut fest.  

A preacher (Paul Ross) wants to shut down a house of ill repute that has a long history of showing  customers their brand of southern hospitality.  (AKA:  They fuck them.)  Annette Haven is the madam of the house who takes in a young border (Danielle) who was assaulted by a mysterious man on the road.  Eventually, she agrees to taking a job as a lady of the evening in the establishment.  Things end predictably enough as all the plot threads (all two of them) are wrapped up in a convenient fashion.  That is to say, everybody gets a happy ending.    

The plot doesn’t matter a whole lot if the sex scenes are strong.  As it stands, it’s a pretty uneven affair.  Things kick off with a flashback to the Civil War with Haven’s grandmother (Rhonda Jo Petty) servicing a Confederate soldier who bangs her with a candle.  Then we have a scene where Haven gets it on with the sheriff, played by Mike Horner (who even sports a Burt Reynolds-style mustache).  There’s also a mini-orgy sequence involving the talents of Kay Parker and Dorothy LeMay.  About halfway through, the movie forgets about the plot as the middle section is almost exclusively devoted to the prostitutes having flashbacks to various rendezvous with their most cherished customers.  Unfortunately, Parker’s scene is undone by some indifferent lighting that pretty much bathes the important details (READ:  Genitals) in darkness.

The standout sequence is when Haven shows Danielle the ropes of being a prostitute as she teaches her to pleasure Horner’s rod.  While most of the other scenes in the film are rather standard issue, this one boasts a solid set-up, a nice rapport between the performers, and a fun, playful vibe.  If there was another sequence or two of this caliber, Memphis Cathouse Blues could’ve been red hot.