TORTURE ME, KISS ME (1970) ** ½

Torture Me, Kiss Me, is an early example of a Naziploitation movie, in black and white no less (a rarity for these sorts of things).  It starts off with a Frenchman nobleman (Frank MacIntosh) recounting his experience in WWII and we flashback to two Nazis banging some sexy babes in an office.  A new Commandant (Blaine Quincy) shows up at a Nazi stronghold.  He thinks the soldiers have all grown soft, and he sets out to whip everybody into shape, sometimes literally.  The first order of business is to rape a girl picking flowers in a field.  Then, he starts ordering executions for anyone who disrespects him.  His buddy, the Frenchman shows up to try to talk some sense in him, but to little avail.  Meanwhile, a Nazi trollop named Ilsa (Christine Cybelle) is revealed to be a spy for the Resistance who are desperate to have the Commandant removed at all costs.  She shacks up with him to keep tabs on him and is of course, outraged by his brutality.  

Torture Me, Kiss Me is an agreeable title for this flick as the split of torture and kissing is about 50/50.  The opening sex scene runs on so long that the music runs out for a good chunk of it.  There’s also rape, outdoor baths, death by firing squad, more rape, a lesbian scene involving a banana, and lots of whipping.  There’s also a fairly heavy concentration on outdoor sex scenes, if that’s your sort of thing.  All this is pretty tame as far as the standards of the subgenre go, but it moves at a steady clip, even with all the stock footage from WWII that helps to pad out the running time.  

The overacting by Quincy is amusing as he’s always shouting and getting on people’s nerves.  In fact, you kind of feel bad for the goose steppers in this movie.  I mean we’ve all had that experience where things are going along just fine at our job.  Then, all of a sudden, we get a new manager who thinks that running a tight ship and barking orders at people instead of talking to them like a human being is the way to run a successful business.  We usually joke around and say, “Man, our new boss is a real Nazi”, but when the characters in this movie say it, it’s like LITERALLY.